Im in the same shoes as you and I understand that you are only frustrated because you know its all your own fault, why and what happened that you are not able to provide the best for your lover, even honeymoon or travelling will already zerorize your savings.

I dont know how people are able to stay happy when live paycheck to paycheck, even better they still continue pumping out kids. Only solution is to suck it up and just accept that you did not win the lucky draw when you were born and that life sucks