Honestly, no in-laws will take this bait.

Which do u care more? The table cost (money) or ur relatives' complaint? Decide yourself

are u mid 20s or after 30? most of my hengdai after 30, marriage a lot simpler, both side just want to get over with it (unless 1 side is tan sri level)

but those young young ones head in the clouds, still thinking of venue = glass house and must have min budget 50k.

Like that no difference with selling daughter lohh.

I have a friend (really a friend cuz I am still single) whose future parents in law asked for RM88,888 dowry.

He straight tell them right in the face:

CAN! No problem. I can get a loan from ah long. Then if I cannot repay them, and they come and look for you guys, then you settle with them lahh.

The future parents in law straight changed their minds and told my friend to give whatever he could afford, in exhange for a caring and kind son in law.

Because of that, their relationship became very close.

I was in my early 20s when I discussed this topic with my girlfie.

Being someone who likes travelling, she agreed almost right away hahaha.

Yes, that WAS the original meaning of wedding invitations.

Almost all Chinese weddings nowadays are clown shows (during the morning ceremony) and show off events (during the dinner).

Precisely. The giving of dowry is just nominal and most in laws are kind. If you don't think you can pay that sum to your future in laws you should evaluate yourself.
It is a bit of pride as who wants to give their daughter away in marriage for free. Respect your culture.

be firm la....just discuss with your gf, show her how much you could afford, and tell her your future budget, she will understand one lah... Once she agreed with that amount, you need to act firm. Just send the dowry maybe plus a flower hamper things like that to make it looks decent. Dun have to tell ur inlaw la....usually reasonable one would be around 10k lah, just make the figure nice eg 8888 (example lah)

If inlaw not happy who cares la...nvm la, how long they can be unhappy about? one week? 2 weeks? but you save ur a$$ of getting financial troubles for YEARS u know... Most important is agreement between you and your gf...if your gf supportive, can ask her to share a bit burden la, after all the money will come back to her one later...face not important la between two of u, most important is understandings between you both.

wedding dinner lagi easy to settle if in one place. Mine 3 places, run here and there almost 2.5 weeks craazy...Spread out la, father side wanted to do in town A my grandparents there (they cant move far due to knee problem) , father tanggung everything la...inlaw wanted to do in town B, they paid everything and get angpao all lah...town C i tanggung everything la... then you not be too burdened, just like attending event like that, after all only show-off nia, wedding just an event, tho many girls X agree...this you dun have to tell your gf lah, every girl same, what bullSh1t once in lifetime event, all wedding.company.suck3r marketing effect.

haha...1.4k in PJ considered ok d lo..see your friends and relatives status la, usually PJ ok kot...for me i usually give 2-3xx if i attend, depends on place also, if higher class restaurant, then maybe 400..the most i give 1k so far, that's also becoz inlaw wedding.

one 200 ten persons already 2k, can cover lah...i think seldom ppl give <100 in PJ (at least not my friends) that's too kiamsiap and you may need to consider your friends cycle.

wedding place you like lah, ur wedding bah, as long as u and gf agreed, parents and inlaw okay, then settle. Who cares about relatives/friends talking, can come then come lah, cannot then nvm la...you just need to be firm, if others cant.

what's the market rate for wedding dowry now in 2016?

pm me too. i wanna know. curious ..

Agreed whole heartedly! No need to please anyone, just please your waifu enuff liao

LOL me too

Screw that traditional practice.

Mind to share more abt divorce is expensive?

Dowry market price is aorund 10k now..
8888 perhaps?
6388 jimat abit lo...

This post has been edited by heavensea: Oct 29 2016, 06:04 AM

parents are still stuck with illogical past cultural practices. this is true even for well educated ones as they want to preserve the tradition.

perhaps if you can have some older people from your side to talk with your fiance's parents might do the trick. if you can show them that you have saved the money and will use it for the future with their daughter, perhaps some sense might come in.

also, get close with your future mother in law, normally ladies rule the table on marriage talk. get her on your side and it will be easier to convince the rest too.

hope your marriage will start and maintain happiness forever..

Cost me the lawyer fees which is cheap. 8k plus. Cost me a house profit is I sell. Which is 300k profit. Cost me die of millions of brain cells when I some how still have argument with ex-wife. Just some how we are still arguing. The most costly thing is the strained feeling that I have on the relationship with my daughter though I get to see her 4 to 5 times a week now.

sorry to hear that, u guys can't get along or?
just take good care of your child, both of u as parents.

you need to make a call. who is spending for wedding ? you ? then take control