A dark and stormy night...

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: "The big sissy."

familiar?

difference is one wearing push up.. and one not wearing ma

A Guy's Blind Date


Joe sets up Michael to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Michael
is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.

"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Mike, "I'll be stuck with her all night."

"Don't worry," Joe says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you
like what you see then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout
Aaaaaauuuggghhh! and fake an asthma attack."

So that night, Mike knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is
awestruck at how beautiful and sexy she is.

He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts... "Aaaaaauuuggghhh!"

dont know if its a repost, and the source is lost to me.

How to Describe Your Breasts in a Chat Room

(o)(o) perfect breasts

( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) high nipple breasts

(@)(@) big nipple breasts

oo a cups

{ O }{ O } d cups

(oYo) wonder bra breasts

( ^^)( ^^) cold breasts

(o)(O) lopsided breasts

(Q)(O) pierced breasts

(p)(p) hanging tassels breasts

\o/\o/ Grandma's breasts

( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts

< o>< o> electric shock breasts

|o||o| android breasts

(/)(o) scratched breasts (ouch)

(%)(o) extra nipple breasts (like Chandler)

($)($) Jenny McCarthy's breasts

The Perfect Girl

A friend asked a gentleman why he never married?

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I
guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl
that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was a girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl; the
only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I
really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man."

The Dating Service


A girl went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about
looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright
character.

Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman
was intelligence.

The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in
common -- they were both pathological liars.

Stand Up And Pee


Seems God was just about done creating the universe, had a couple of left-over things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden.

He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee. 'It's a very handy thing,' God told the couple who he found hanging around under an apple tree.

'I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability.'

Adam popped a cork. Jumped up and begged, 'Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a Man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. I'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just let it rip, I'd be so cool. Oh
please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please.........' On and on he went like an excited little boy (who had to pee).

Eve just smiled and shook her head at the display. She told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, and it sure seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given the ability to stand up and pee.

And so it was. And it was...well, good. 'Fine,' God said, looking back into his bag of left-over gifts.

'What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms...'

so now girls can have multiple orgasms? lol

multiple orgasm is..an object back then?

You challenging a joke's theory?

What is multiple orgasm?

tak tau.... tanya pompuan... eh... u also pompuan

should be more or less like sinusoidal graph?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_orga...ultiple_orgasms
female should know bout it though

tapi suiteng pure pompuan ke?

Oh.... that means I never knew what is single orgasm

Injured Farmhand


A farmhand goes to the doctor with a broken leg...

"Well, doc, 25 years ago..."

"Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."

"Like I was saying... 25 years ago, when I first started working on the
farm, that night, right after I had gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful
daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted. I
said no, everything is fine.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"I'm sure," I said.

"Isn't there *anything* I can do for you?" she wanted to know.

"I reckon not, "I replied..."

"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What does this story have to do with your
leg?"

"Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what
she meant, I fell off the roof!"

dont get the last joke.

why the farmhand fell off the roof when he jst realized wat the farmer's daughter meant?