Why?

He wasnt born dead

He IS ALIVE!!!!

Generous lawyer


A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

YAY

The baby is ALIVE!!!!

LOL don't stop posting....!!! hahahaha

Saw this at Craiglist...

We met for a drink and you caught me making out with a man.

I guess the baby still have to die anyway.....

Marry the perfect woman


An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond comparison.

With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.

The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion. "Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed."

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter. The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

"Well," the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."

The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did. The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry." So they were wed right away.

Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the most ugly, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...pregnant when you met her."

LOLOLOLOL

hahaha...d*mn that lawyer!

New Windows

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, but this week I got a call from the contractor, complaining his work had been completed a year ago and I had yet to pay for them. Boy oh boy, did we go around and around Just because I'm a blonde does not mean I'm automatically stupid.
So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year - namely, that in one year, the windows would pay for themselves.... There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up. I have not heard anything back.

lol. pity the contractor, cant get his money already

dont understand this blonde joke?

windows would pay for themselves?

double-pane energy efficient kind of window??? lol what's that?

meaning since they're energy efficient thus it saves money in the long run compared to regular window.

so she tell the window will pay by itself when it saves enough money

This post has been edited by radical85: Dec 1 2007, 12:09 AM

yeah, but the thing is, how the heck window saves energy while it does not require any energy to operate at all?

edit: ok, thanks for the info, certainly first time heard abt tat

This post has been edited by cyew86: Dec 1 2007, 01:55 AM

http://www.energystar.gov/index.cfm?c=wind....pr_anat_window

Drunk every night


A woman's husband comes home hammered every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone.

One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub.

It's getting late, big boy, she says after a few minutes. Why don't we go upstairs to bed.

We might as well, slurs the husband. I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway.

I LOL'ed!! more more!

This is short 1...
not sure if any1 have posted it...

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

This post has been edited by alexio: Dec 2 2007, 04:04 PM