A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
Added on September 7, 2007, 8:47 pmA little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
This post has been edited by cyew86: Sep 7 2007, 08:47 PM
a young boy wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to the bathroom for a drink of water. as he passes his sisters room he hears a noise coming from it. his sister is in bed rubbing herself all over going. "i want a man. i want a man"
the next night the little boy gets up and goes past his sisters room and the same thing again but louder " I WANNA MAN, I WANNA MAN."
on the third night he goes past and he can hear another voice coming from his sisters bedroom. so he looks in and his sister is with a man. so with that the little boy runs back to his bedroom jumps into his bed and starts rubbing his self all over shouting
Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.
The Head Gangster says, "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.
Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat."
The next day, while listening to the news they hear: "Yesterday the largest SPERM bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people.....
Another drunk driver accident joke One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk.
She told him that her feelings had changed and that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket and passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. Miraculously, the girl survived.
Remembering the note, she pulled it out and read it.
"Without your love, I would die."
LOL!!!!
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Sep 7 2007, 07:45 PM
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