Tranny sex jokes are the best! Yucky but funny! But nowadays hard to find them in Kl or PJ area anymore! All move where already?

what is a tranny sex joke?

tranny = transsexual

alittlemisfit, let me tumpang ur threat and share on the relationship jokes la. keep it moving

After a long standing quarrel, a man noticed his wife was packing her suitcase to leave. He asked her, "What are you doing?"

The wife answered angrily, "I am leaving you and moving to New York. I heard even the prostitutes there get paid five hundred dollars for doing what I do for you for free here."

The next day when wife executed her threat and started leaving, she noticed husband was also ready with suitcase to go.

The wife asked the husband where he was going. The husband replied, "I am going with you to find out how you live on a thousand dollars a year in New York".

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 5:42 pmA couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple!" A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once'."

"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' "We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

"I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse, while I was

Shouting; she looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once'.

And we lived happily ever after."

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 5:47 pmJerry was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, Dear," he said.

"Of course, Jerry," his wife said softly.

"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."

"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.

With his last breath Jerry said, "I do!"

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 5:51 pmYou've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada; known, simply, as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks (out at Area 51) were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They, immediately, impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight, during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing (complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison), told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up, again!

Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane. Only, this time, there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me. But, my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 8:11 pmDANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: I'm with you, honey, those guys are the scum of the earth.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of vegetables left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that bathrobe.

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 8:16 pmLuke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products she asked, "Darling, honestly what age would you say I am?"

Looking over her carefully, Luke replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty-five."

"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Luke interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet."

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 8:27 pmA woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp.

She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, 'Nope...due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish.? So...what'll it be?'

The woman didn't hesitate. She said: 'I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.'

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed: 'Gosh, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish.'

The woman thought for a minute and said: 'Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful.? That's what I wish for...a good mate.'

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, 'Let me see that map again!'

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 8:28 pmA guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much.

One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn't home.

"Well," the woman said, "could I please wait for her?"

The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.

After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked," May I know where your wife is?"

"She went to the cemetery," he replied.

"And when is she coming?"

"I don't really know," he said. "She's been there eleven years now."

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 8:33 pmAfter she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 8:54 pmMr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results. The lab tech says to him, 'I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible!'

'What do you mean?'

'Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife.'

'That's terrible! Can we do the test over?'

'Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once.'

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

'The HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her!'

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 8:56 pmAs a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Highway 401. Please be careful!"

"Darn," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 8:58 pmA lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

The pharmacist asks 'Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?'

The lady say's 'To kill my husband.'

'I can't sell you any for that reason' says the pharmacist.

The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a Photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

He looks at the photo and says 'Oh...........I didn't know you had a prescription!'

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 9:02 pmAlthough this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore." So she drove the boat to shore.

Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook the dinner, and wash the dishes."

---

Added on May 17, 2007, 9:08 pmA travelling salesman was about to check in at a hotel when he noticed a very charming bit of femininity giving him the so- called 'eye.' In a casual manner he walked over and spoke to her as though he had known her all his life. Both walked back to the desk and registered as Mr. and Mrs. After a three-day stay he walked up to the desk and informed the clerk that he was checking out. The clerk presented him with his bill for $1600.

"There is a mistake here," he protested. "I have been here only three days."

"Yes," replied the clerk, "but your wife has been here a month."

This post has been edited by karmakid: May 17 2007, 09:08 PM

nice jokes! keep em up, jokers! XD

Evening Classes For Men


Starting next month.

Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. sign up early and get a discount on registration.

1. HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS.
Step by step with slide presentation.

2. TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion.

3. DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND THE FLOOR.
Practicing with hamper. Pictures and graphics.

4. THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among panel of experts.

5. LOSS OF VIRILITY: LOSING THE REMOTE CONTROL TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
Help line and support groups.

6. LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum.

7. HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
Power Point presentation.

8. REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real-life testimonial from the one man who did.

9. IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation.

10. LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE.
Role playing.

11. HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

12. REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
Bring your calendar or PDA to class.

13. GETTING OVER IT. LEARNING TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME.
Individual counselors available.

WHISKEY WILL BE SERVED!!!!

Rodney sat in his attorney's office.

"Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" asked the lawyer.

"Give me the bad news first."

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.""

"That's the bad news?" asked Rodney incredulously. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news."

"It's of you and your mistress."

---

Added on May 18, 2007, 1:20 pmA farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, "Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you." The college guy says, "Right on, thanks a lot man." So the farmer says, "Well you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lotsa drinkn' going on." College guy "Hey, I can drink just as much as anyone else so I should do just fine." Farmer "There is also going to be a lot of fightn' so I hope you are ready." College guy "I have been working hard all summer and I think I am in pretty good shape." Farmer says, "Well, did I mention that there will be lotsa sex?" College guy "Good. I have been out here all summer and I have been dying for some action. What should I wear to this party?" Farmer says, "I don't care it's just going to be me and you.

This post has been edited by karmakid: May 18 2007, 01:20 PM

ahaha more, more!

Hahahaha,more jokes please.

Thanks for sharing,by the way.

Two guys are sitting at a pub, staring into their drinks.

One gets a curious look and ask :"Hey Pete, have you ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?"

Pete answers :"Yep, I've been married to it for 15 years!"

love the bolded ones the most

misfit, share more jokes! yours are the best man

aiyo.mana missfit.sudah lama takde.kaman2.

busy lately
guys.. try to avoid joining the jokes... i'm having a hard time to keep track to the jokes and not to repeat them.

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Hairy Chest


A wife tells her husband that she wants a fur coat for their 25th anniversary.

"Ha," snorted her husband. "The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you grow hair on your chest!"

On hearing that, she hiked up her dress, pulled down her panties and thrust her pubic area forward. "There," she snapped, "I have hair on my chest. Now buy me a fur coat!"

"Silly woman, that's not your chest," he snapped back.

"Damn right it's my chest," she argued. "Before we married, it was your hope chest. On our honeymoon, it was your treasure chest. Since then, it has become our family chest ... and if you don't buy me a fur coat, it will soon be the COMMUNITY CHEST!"

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston

After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk Clerk; hands them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00.

When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says,

"this check is only made out for $50.00."

"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and you could have."

wahahaha...very nice!

brilliant

A Good Dentist


A guy and a girl meet at a bar.

They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.

The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."

The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?"

"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."

One thing led to another and they make love.

After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did you figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing!"

whaahahaha how sad.................

Disappointing Blind Date


"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

"It was awful!" answered the roommate. "The guy showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

"Wow! That's a really expensive car! What's so awful about that?" she asked.

"He was the original owner!" groaned the roommate.