CIA Final Test
Three men are getting ready for their final test to become CIA agents. The instructor says that their final test is to kill their wives. So, the instructor hands a gun to the first guy and he goes into another room where his wife is. The man returns just a few minutes later and says that he loves his wife too much and can't go through with it.

The second guy goes into the room with the gun to kill his wife. He returns 10 minutes later and says that even though he really wants to become an agent he just couldn't kill his wife.

So, the instructor hands the gun off to the third guy and he proceeds into the room. After about 15 minutes they hear three gun shots go off. The man returns a few minutes afterwards all sweaty and out of breath. The instructor asks the man what happened and the man replied "Some idiot put blanks in the gun so I had to strangle the b****".

Bedroom Conversation

Wife: Oh, come on.

Husband: Leave me alone!

Wife: It won't take long.

Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.

Wife: I can't sleep without it.

Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Wife: Because I'm Hot.

Husband: You get hot at the darnedest times.

Wife: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.

Husband: If you love me you'd be more considerate.

Wife: You don't love me anymore.

Husband: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Wife: (Sob-Sob)

Husband: Alright, I'll do it.

Wife: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

Husband: I can't find it.

Wife: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!

Husband: There! Are you satisfied?

Wife: Oh, yes, honey.

Husband: Is it up far enough?

Wife: Oh, that's fine.

Husband: Now go to bed and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.

Evening Classes For Men
Starting next month.

Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. sign up early and get a discount on registration.

1. HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS.
Step by step with slide presentation.

2. TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion.

3. DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND THE FLOOR.
Practicing with hamper. Pictures and graphics.

4. THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among panel of experts.

5. LOSS OF VIRILITY: LOSING THE REMOTE CONTROL TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
Help line and support groups.

6. LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum.

7. HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
Power Point presentation.

8. REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real-life testimonial from the one man who did.

9. IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation.

10. LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE.
Role playing.

11. HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

12. REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
Bring your calendar or PDA to class.

13. GETTING OVER IT. LEARNING TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME.
Individual counselors available.

WHISKEY WILL BE SERVED!!!!

no la..the Irishman yang bodoh..