Someone May See Us


A young man takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together late into the night. When they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Honey, how about giving me a blowjob?"

"What! Are you insane?" she says in a whisper.

"Don't worry, it'll be quick," he replies.

"No!" she insists. "Someone may see us."

"At this time of night, no one will see us. Come on, just a small blowjob. I know you'll like it," he pleads.

"No! I said NO!" she snaps.

"Awww, baby, don't be like that," he says.

Suddenly, her younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She glares at them and says, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself, but for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"

omg owned!!

we miss ur jokes missfit

mastercard, i think actually acted out an advert on this story.

lol keep them comin

Total Disorder


One day a man comes home from work to find everything in total disorder. The children were still in their pajamas, playing outside in the mud and muck. Empty food boxes and wrappers were strewn everywhere.

As he entered the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dirty dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a small pile of sand by the back door and broken glass under the table.

Passing the family room, he noticed a lamp had been knocked over and there were toys and clothing thrown everywhere.

Concerned that his wife may be ill or something may have happened to her, he headed up the stairs to look for her, carefully stepping over toys along the way.

He reached the bedroom and found his wife lounging in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book.

She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. Bewildered, he asked, "What happened here today?"

Smiling, she replied, "You know when you come home from work everyday and ask me what I did today?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Well, today I didn't do it!" she answered.

Effects of vi a gra


A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Maybe some bacon and eggs and a slice of toast? What about a nice sectioned grapefruit and a cup of fresh coffee?"

The husband declines. ""It's this vi a gra," he says, "it's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup and a sandwich? Or, maybe a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?"

The husband again delines. "No thanks, honey. It's this <removed>," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At dinner time, she asks if he would like anything to eat, even offering to go to a café and buy him a burger supper. "Or maybe you'd prefer I make you a pizza from scratch? Or, how about a tasty stir fry ... it would only take a few minutes?"

Once more, the husband declines. "Thanks again, but it's this <removed>," he says. It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

"Well, then," she says, "Would you mind getting off me, because I am STARVING!"

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Jun 6 2007, 09:23 AM

Hot Bath


Why is marriage like a hot bath?

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Because once you get used to it, it's really not so hot.

Two Dwarfs


Two dwarfs decide that they would treat themselves to a fun vacation in Las Vegas. Sitting at the hotel bar, they're dazzled by two women and end up taking them up to their separate rooms.

Unfortunately, the first dwarf becomes very disappointed since he's unable to reach a certain physical state which would allow him perform. His depression is futher deepened by the fact that, all night long, all he can hear from the next room are cries of 'One, Two, Three, Hup!'

The next morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

Whispering, the first dwarf says, "It was so embarrassing. I just could not get an erection."

Shaking his head, the second dwarf replies, "You think that's bad? I couldn't even get on the bed!"

hey how do u manage to post as a new response? mine jst considered add-on. you use "add reply" or "fast reply" or what?

i've tried both but same results.

if you're the last poster in the thread, you'll find this in Add Reply.

Lust, Love or Marriage?


For those of you who question whether you are in love, in lust, or really married, the following descriptions may help to clear things up.

Love - When intercourse is called - making love.
Lust - When intercourse is called - screwing.
Marriage - What's intercourse?

Love - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage - When you lose your child in a crowded room.

Love - When you share everything you own.
Lust - When you steal everything they own.
Marriage - When the bank owns everything.

Love - When it doesn't matter if you don't reach a climax.
Lust - When the relationship ends if you don't reach a climax.
Marriage - What's a climax?

Love - When you phone each other just to say Hi.
Lust - When you phone each other to choose a hotel room.
Marriage - When you phone each other to b****.

Love - When you write poems about your partner.
Lust - When all you write is your phone number.
Marriage - When all your write is checks.

Love - When you show concern for your partner's feelings.
Lust - When you couldn't give a shit.
Marriage - When your only concern is what's on TV.

Love - When your farewell is "I love you, darling ... "
Lust - When your farewell is "Same time next week?"
Marriage - When your farewell is a relief.

Love - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
Lust - When your groin twitches every time you see them.
Marriage - When your wallet empties every time you see them.

Love - When nobody else matters.
Lust - When nobody else knows.
Marriage - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

Love - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
Lust - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
Marriage - When you listen to talk radio.

Love - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
Lust - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
Marriage - When just getting through the day is your only thought.

Love - When you're only interested in doing things WITH your partner.
Lust - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
Marriage - When you're only interested in your golf score.

I accidentally thrown away my future wedding ring.

wait a sec..i thought there were some more stories here. what happened?

eer... wedding ring lost.... funny if u seen in certain perspective.

now to get her back on friendly term with me

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Jun 8 2007, 09:33 AM

thrown away a ring?

Ouch... sounds like a tragedy or a relieve?

sigh..a pair somemore....
meaning u need to buy 1 more pair loh...
for actual wedding ah?