I m getting married next month.... its small party and only few people will be invited...... dont bring any gift.....just bring someone who ll marry me.

Ow man, wat happen to u and ur wife ..?

eh.... auntie reposta!
ok ok.. new avatar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new joke

Cassie 

When I was growing up me and my best friend Jacob were inseparable. I always thought of him as just a friend until I was about 15 and I started to notice his beautiful baby blue eyes. Then I started to realize more. Like how hot he was and the way he talked to me. I soon fell in love with him and was hoping he felt the same way. When I was going to finally tell him how I felt, that was when he introduced me to his new girl friend. That’s when I knew he didn’t feel the same way. I started dating too but I never loved any of them the way I loved Jacob. During our senior year neither me nor Jacob had dated any one, because of that Jacob asked me to the senior prom. As friends of course. I said yes and went out and bought a new dress. He showed up wearing this hot tux and had even bought me courage. On the way to the prom he pulled over and looked at me and said (I rember this like it was yesterday)"Kassie I know we have been friends for years and I don’t want to lose that but there is something I need to tell you. I think I’m in LOVE with you. No I know I am. I have loved you since I was 14. I know you problem don’t fell the same way but I needed to tell you that." I was in shock I wanted to answer but I couldn’t. He started to drive with this sad look on his face. When I finally belt up the courage to talk all I could say was "Jacob" he looked at me for a split second when it happened. There was a car speeding down the street heading straight at us I screamed and that is the last thing I rember. The car had hit us and Jacob had thrown himself on top of me. Jacob had died trying to do something to save me. The doctors say that if he hadn’t done that I would probly be dead too. Jacob had loved me way more then I had loved him. The last thing I saw of him was his blue eyes felled with tears as he threw him self on to me. I love you Jacob and now I guess you know that.

A man is about to have sex with a really fat woman, so he climbs on top of her.

"Can I turn the light off?" he asks.

"Why?" she replies. "Are you feeling a bit shy?"

"No," he says. "Because it's burning my as$!"

Aaaaaaaaahahahaha I dunno why I found this super funny.

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Bob said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen"

Moishe’s hands are now trembling as he replies, "Me too."

rofl, gheyness!