Christian or not, does it matter now? Right or wrong does it matter now?
What happened cant be turned back. Whether christian allows or doesnt allows pre-marital sex is totally not related. The couple is having a face-off becos they are not having pleasure in sex and one thing lead to another which end in a stalemate. The starting point of this stalemate is becos the gal complaint about the guys ability on bed. Thats definately not something you can convince someone using speech alone. It still haunt the guy. He's eager to prove it that he can do it.

I dont think the guy wanna hear anything not having pre-marital sex or whatsoever related to it. All he's eager to do now is to prove that he excel on bed too.

I think the gal should c doctor for some advise..I think mostly gals do like having sex wert....

that's the problem with SOME guys, they are not gentle and understanding enough about women's feeling...sigh

I get your point..

U need sex, not wife

Painful sex? It's a medical condition,albeit sometimes exaggerated. Seek counselling and do go for a hospital checkup. I see no reason why sex should be avoided for life.

LOL..
Why you love to seperate sex with everything?
Try see a bigger picture lar..

I think wat lAh0S saying is true...
He's the onli 1 giving a sound advice.
The 1 important thing we're forgotting here is EGO!
I dun noe the guy mentioned, but there r a lot of guys tat hav a big ego.
so, in other words... not performing well i bed, being rejected by his soul mate, etc.
I think it all really depends on how they(the couple) communicate, n try 2 find a solution...
So, if its safe to assume, i guess things got hot when they're trying to reason, so it bcomes an argument. Things tend to b like this.

I think i'm Bul!sh!tting here. but the advice is the same everytime.
Sex is about 2 souls bonding, so its hard 4 a 3rd party 2 intervene o teach so 2 say... except they r into 3sum o 4sum o exhibitionism...
Communicate, Cherish, Forgive n Forget.

Juz my 2 centz...

PS. Dun flame me~~
lol

well.. 4 my opinion.. both of them should sit down and talk first, i mean tell each other wat r they thinking and... try to over come this problem. coz personally if the person living wit u itself ignore u means, itz realy hurtz...

well... i think itz not a big matter here... dun be ego lo....
try to show some Love.... He will understand ur frenz feeling ok.
If the situation is still the same means.... they better Broke it lo...

Who separated sex from everything? ~_~
Au contraire, why stay in a relationship that's incomplete?
Why did the Singaporean woman still love her husband even if she knows their relationship cannot be complete?

That is sad, the woman will not enjoy a full sex life.

communication is the key, listen to as many advice as possible and take the suitable advice only, it still depends on how much both of them want to keep their relationship

thats a........very shocking news

i guess they shud sit down n tok... she shud tell her is painful n mayb he can b more gentle or sumthing... if they dun tok he won't know the situation n she is the one who is facing it alone while he is angry of her or sumthing... sooo bacially communication is a crucial factor i guess...if he still dun understand n wants his way instead...den this guy is NOT WORTH IT!!!!

...from all the posts thus far, I think the gist is about COMMUNICATION.

Egoistic or not, that will depends on how the message is conveyed.

From what I can see, both party in question has their right and wrong. The girl rejected her fiancee advances because of the pain. Her fiancee is cold towards her because of her rejection.

Is it about sex? or is it not all about sex?

IMHO, the couple in question is not matured enough to handle such issues. And reason behind everything else, maybe due to;
1. The girl is inexperience,
2. So is the guy,
3. No open communication to find out each other's feeling regarding their intimacy preference.

So, the question now is, should both party retreats to their corners and hide. Pray and hope that the problem will go away. Or they could step out from hiding and confront the issue together.

What do you think?

Don't jump into conclusion too fast as there's always underlying factors. In this problem, is it sex or is it communication?

Marriage is about passion, sharing, compromise and caring through whatever circumstance. However, the general view falls short with passion and sharing...

no healthy sex life = kiss goodbye to ur marriage
the problem is not with the guy, but with the girl

sorrie to saz that "uncomfortable and painful" its a pathetic excuse... its more a "mental" problem then "physical" problem. even how right it is, when mentally not prepare then going to dead end...

yup, partially agree that pre-marital sex is not agreeable much, but need to agree that sex also do bring out the whole relationship and how far it will go...

cant tell the whole real story from TS, but i would saz the girl is selfish, she need to let him know wheres the problem comes from, if its a physical problem, then she can seek adviced and discuss / discover with him to solve the problem, but dont think thats the case. if she is not prepare herself, at 1st place it shouldnt have done it. there is a different saying no at 1st (not doing it) then saying no / give excuse after a few times / tries...

i would not saz that guy is all right, he can do a great part too, but as i saz TS story cant tell the whole story, as we are hearing from 1 point of view...

This post has been edited by KidsCode: Dec 7 2006, 11:44 AM

i think everyone has physical needs... juz on a how much level... but guys shud understand gals..n gals shud oso understand guys...common guys got a HIGH LEVEL of sex drive...GUYS WILL B GUYS rite... but if the guy juz wanna b wif a gal juz for SEX...den he is THRASH!!!

I voted no. Sex is just one way to make a relationship bloom, but without it, my relationship with my BF doesn't just fall around my ears. I am with my BF for almost 3 years, but we never have sex also. 3 years leh... if ever getting married also need to wait 5 more years. So without sex, he will leave me? Then let him leave la... he is then not worth it. I agree that communication is the key to a good healty relationship, and add fun and love mah enuff lor.

Coming back to the threadstarter's post... I think the guy is an a$$hole (IMHO), and after reading all the posts, seemed that alot of people is supporting the guy. I would have told the girl: Leave him. If you have to accomodate his ego, and his ego is so super inflated and all he can think of is himself, he is not worth the sacrifice. Just tell him God gave him two hands, ask him to make love to those hands la.

Then I look at the guy side and wonder what could he have done when his gf told him: I don't want to have sex with you.

Hmmm... He could just apologise and say sorry, and say he'll wait till she is ready (because she will want to have sex one day and she will come to him). If he really loves her, he will wait. If he doesn't, you know where this is heading la.

Or maybe he got those words so thrown blatantly into his face that he doesn't know how to react, so still in a shock. Haha.

Are they still living together?

This post has been edited by Lucifer_Light: Dec 7 2006, 11:53 AM

Totally agree woth lucifer_light. Love shouldn't be built on sex. Sex merely complements love. You don't love someone for sex do you? I frankly did not expect so many people to vote YES as I thought Malaysians somewhat knew better. I guess I was wrong.

This post has been edited by kramuse: Dec 7 2006, 11:59 AM

But from wat TS mentioned is, they both agreed in having sex...
n after which it did happened... the gal felt pain n couldnt continue with it.. its not like the guy force himself onto her, tat's called rape BTW. Its not about pre-marital sex anymore....

Ego is a thing everybody has, it depends how it is vented out, guys hav dignity in stuff like sex, cause it rates how manly he is. LOL

EDIT: Forgot to mention clearly... think this is about hurting the man's feeling.
Wat do u suppose if us men hurt u gals feelings... not gud izzit?

This post has been edited by Dragonflyz: Dec 7 2006, 12:04 PM