hmmm whip cream on pusy? hmmm.....

A boy nearly got hit by a woman driving a car this morning,

but luckily he jumped out of the way just in time.

Into the road.

Lester rang his girlfriend and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"

She said, "Probably failing my driving test."

i noe this is old stuff, but thats not snape. that is lupin, the werewolf.

This post has been edited by Netto Hikari: Sep 14 2011, 03:22 AM

it doesn't change the joke. it could be dobby and still be funny. here's one i found:

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up.

'Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship, 'the wife explained.' He was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts. He communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening.

---

Added on September 14, 2011, 10:30 am'When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.'

This post has been edited by reehdus: Sep 14 2011, 10:30 AM

Ah Chong picked up a fat chick wearing a tracksuit in his taxi and dropped her off at the park.

She jumped out and started jogging immediately along the road beside taxi, flapping her arm.

"You go girl!" Ah Chong shouted with a wolf whistle. "You'll be losing those weight before you know it."

"My farking suit's trapped in the door!," she replied before felling and dragged.

My boss just brought his newborn son into work to show everybody.

I said, "Wow, he's just like you isn't he?"

He said, "Awww, do you really think so?"

I said, "Yeah, he's got no hair, he hasn't stopped whinging and he has a tiny d1ck."

LMAO!!!

I took some gal from the pub back home last night.

We got kissing on the sofa, before I slipped my hand in her knickers, she asked, "Shall we take this upstairs?"

I said, "No, I'd rather we did it here."

"Oh I see." She winked, "Something in your bedroom you don't want me to see eh?"

I said, "Yeah, my wife."

Wow, brave man is brave.

What's the difference between Fernando Torres and Wayne Bridge?

John Terry appreciates Wayne Bridge's missus.

On Related News

Arsene Wenger has announced he wants to buy Fernando Torres.
When asked why he said, "If I play him at centre back, at least we won't score any own goals"

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Sep 19 2011, 04:34 PM

Lol another swipe at Torres.

That miss on Sunday is funny enough really. Had the whole place laughing.

I saved my mistress' phone number as 'LOW BATTERY'.

Whenever she calls and I'm not around, the missus takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly.

SHIT !!!
I LEARN SOMETHING NEW !!!!

What's the difference between Fernando Torres and Wayne Bridge?

John Terry appreciates Wayne Bridge's missus.

MADE MY HOUR!

My teenage daughter came home in a rage. "I've just done sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!"

I put down my paper: "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."

Homosexuality is a disease.

I had unprotected sex with a man and seem to have caught it.

Hardy smsed his wife

'Just booked us a 5 day Mediterranean cruise. We go in 6 weeks time'

She texted back:

'Nice! But I wish it could be twice as long'

So he just phoned the travel agents and change it, now they're going in 12 weeks time.

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Sep 27 2011, 10:48 PM