I haven't had sex for about 1 year, 4 months, 24 days and 56 minutes.
It doesn't bother me though.
Relationship Joke v2
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 Oct 14 2011, 10:13 AM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land  
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Oct 14 2011, 05:27 PM
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Senior Member
4,947 posts Joined: Nov 2007 
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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Oct 14 2011, 10:13 AM) I haven't had sex for about 1 year, 4 months, 24 days and 56 minutes. huh?It doesn't bother me though.  |
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Oct 14 2011, 06:44 PM
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Senior Member
2,079 posts Joined: May 2008 From: Seremban
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QUOTE(Silverfire @ Oct 14 2011, 05:27 PM) huh? What kind of sane person would calculate so accurately how long they didn't have sex?Only a sex addict...  |
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Oct 15 2011, 12:05 PM
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Senior Member
2,821 posts Joined: Jan 2008 From: klang
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QUOTE(ichigo_6091 @ Oct 14 2011, 06:44 PM) What kind of sane person would calculate so accurately how long they didn't have sex? i tot the joke was if he no bother, why would he rmbr so precisely?Only a sex addict... hahahhaha |
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Oct 16 2011, 09:48 AM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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Now listen carefully 007, This may look like a normal Blackberry.
But it's one that actually works. |
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Oct 16 2011, 04:39 PM
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Junior Member
438 posts Joined: Apr 2007 From: Petaling Jaya 
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QUOTE(ichigo_6091 @ Oct 14 2011, 06:44 PM) What kind of sane person would calculate so accurately how long they didn't have sex? Only a sex addict... QUOTE(MyKy44 @ Oct 15 2011, 12:05 PM) i tot the joke was if he no bother, why would he rmbr so precisely? same thing la. just different way of putting it hahahhaha QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Oct 16 2011, 09:48 AM) Now listen carefully 007, This may look like a normal Blackberry. But it's one that actually works.  |
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Oct 17 2011, 09:52 AM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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"One man's rubbish is another man's treasure" is an awesome phrase. But it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted.
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Oct 17 2011, 10:36 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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Patrice Evra is so upset by Luis Suarez use of the "N" word 10 times during the game on Saturday.
He's told friends that being called Nani is the worst insult he's ever had to put up with. |
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Oct 20 2011, 10:18 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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My wife was horrified to find out I'd discovered her new three-speed vibrator.
It great for making scrambled eggs. |
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Oct 22 2011, 12:02 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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Najib looked out of the office window today and said to the wife...
"It's like rush hour outside" "What, lots of traffic?" She replied "No, there's a black and Chinese guy running down the road in pursuit of a criminal." |
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Oct 23 2011, 01:49 AM
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886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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Male Prostitute Rates For Female Customers:
$50 to talk dirty. $100 to have sex. $500 to listen. |
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Oct 24 2011, 12:57 AM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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I'm trying to upload Man United 1-6 Man City game on PornHub,
but apparently rape isn't allowed |
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Oct 24 2011, 01:00 AM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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I'll never forget the day I met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate.
They'd gone together, dressed as the number ten. I knew there and then, she was the one. |
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Oct 26 2011, 11:49 AM
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Senior Member
2,821 posts Joined: Jan 2008 From: klang
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how many of u who's attached feel this way... kamon, be honest
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Oct 26 2011, 08:11 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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I just can't seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently.
English and Klingon. |
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Oct 30 2011, 11:17 AM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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A young kid knocked on the door last night and said "Trick or Treat?"
I says "What have you come as?" He said "A werewolf." I said "But you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes" He said "Well it's not a full moon yet is it, idiot?" Kids nowadays. |
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Oct 30 2011, 02:14 PM
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Junior Member
84 posts Joined: Jan 2006
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QUOTE For Sale�One (1) Wife, slightly used, 1964 Model SourceNeeds muffler, as it is currently VERY LOUD. Intake valve is stuck in the open position. Rear end needs major overhaul. A crack there has grown monstrously large. Needs re-wiring�Many wires are currently crossed. Lots of little dings in the body, which have been covered up with too much paint in a failed effort at camouflaging them. Needs re-upholstering�Carpet has turned a dingy gray. Needs front-end work--Headlights are too close to the ground, and fenders are too far apart. May not pass emissions test, as it currently produces foul clouds of malodorous gases on a regular basis, Heater works great. Hot air is never in short supply.. Asking $500 or trade for 1984 model. This post has been edited by allinuff: Oct 30 2011, 02:16 PM |
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Oct 31 2011, 03:35 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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My young nephew asked me how babies are made, and I had no idea how to approach it. So I looked online for help and I found this awesome video that explains it all.
And I told him at the end of the video: "It's basically just like that, only that the white stuff on the nice lady's face should go right between her legs. |
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Oct 31 2011, 05:36 PM
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Senior Member
2,644 posts Joined: Jan 2003
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^ O em gee... speechless
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Nov 1 2011, 02:57 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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"I can't f***ing believe it," I screamed, running into the delivery suite. "The baby has come out black."
"I know," she said, laying in her hospital bed. "You dirty f***ing slag!" I shouted." "I'm not having you talk to me like this," she said. "Get out!" "Talk to you like this?" I yelled. "You've been shagging a nigger!" I looked at the midwife and said, "I honestly can't believe it." She said, "Are you the boyfriend or husband?" I said, "Neither, I don't know her, but it just winds me up when I see a pretty girl like that getting knocked up by them." |
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