Hi everyone .... i am 19 this year ... and i notice i have depression since my family changed house into a rented house in BU because of financial problem which now have been 2 years..... and everything start to seems so uncertain or maybe what its called anxious ... i have been sad for no reason for already 1 year and continuing .... i just get my SPM result yesturday .... and its bad ... because before SPM .. i never went to school for 1 month + .. because i was depressed ... sad ... angry sometimes ... and just dont care anything ... everyone around me have difficualties comunicate with me ... same goes to my teacher in school ...

and i notice ... my parents , my twins and sister ... keep giving me negative thoughts ... my parents everytime when they buy food , go out eat or just spend any money ... will come to me and complain .... say what they have no money and bla blabla ... my twins have hatred in his heart since when i was small my parents care me more .... and keep say how my parents and sister do wrong ... my sister keep complain my parents this bad that bad ....

haiz ...... ....... what to do ? .... i feel so useless now ... i get bad result ... i cant continue study because of financial problem .... i cant find a job ... i cant leave this family and this kind of enviroment and surroundings .... .... what to do ????

currently i am so sad .... i cant express .... no one will understand ... (Crying) ....

Your emotion, your life, you you you and i notice how many times you use the word "i & me" instead of we. This shows that you have already left the family

And like i said YOUR emotions YOUR life and only YOU can control it, you are not depressed ok, just emo depressed people wont rant here

What you need its a heads up on how to work things in your life, for starters plan on something and work on it. There are alot of things u can do with min sum....

Be positive and good things will come around. Confident of yourself is very important. Just ignore what others thought about you.

Be yourself.

My house also facing financial problems, so I buy everything with my own money. I didn't ask any money from parents too.

Solution? Part time job loh.

At the first place, i notice that your self-esteem is very low, which means you do not trust in yourself, you do not have self-confident in yourself.
Alright, financial problem that your family is facing, its totally out of your control and you cant do anything about it.
If you refuse to accept the truth that your family economy is going down, you will think negatively and your emotions will be out of control.
Ok, listen, it doesnt really matters on getting poor or living in a negative surroundings like you described as long as you trust yourself, self-confident.
Always do remember, " Poor is not scary at all, but Poor mentally makes you sick and falls "
Since you got a lots of dissatisfaction about you current life, why dont you change it?
Whats up with cant continue study? you may just work, put efforts on whatever you do, i believe you will find your way one day. Cant continue study then start working, you always got choices, its not like end of the world if you cant study.
So now, put away your negative thinking thoughts, think the bright way.
Attitude, Belief build you internal strength, your self-esteem, your self-confident.
Its life, chances are anywhere anytime, just be strong and go over your depress.
good luck

Emm. When you say that your SPM results are bad, how bad is it? I guess if it has what you require for Form 6, then you should move on your life.

And your life.. seems complicated and its hard for an outsider like me to judge on it. I guess everyone will have something in life that they don't like, but how that thing affects a person's life will depend on how the person looks at it. And i believe that there is surely something that you enjoy doing. So maybe you should spend more time on that to relax yourself a little.

I'm glad that you are willing to talk about this. It may be the first step to a better you.

Well, I didn't hear you mention anything about your friends. How about them? Are they supportive?

1st u might find difficultly to adapt in new environment when u shifting house, which give u the feeling for anxious, worry and etc. This is quite normal.. However sometimes it persist and really make some problem like what you tell now.

Relax yourself.. Don't keep all problem within yourself.. Cry is useful sometimes to release the stress.. Try vend out the feeling more.. Talk with your friends..

Actually, i suggest you may be can get some help from psychiatric doctor.. Depression is very very very common nowadays. Never ever think visiting a psychiatric clinic = gila.

Getting depress and all by ownself is horrible.

I give you a piece of advice man. Don't rely on your siblings. Your parents can, but not your siblings. But since your parents have some attitude problem also, I guess you got no one to talk to. Maybe your aunt/uncle/grandma/grandpa.

My family, I don't really care about what my siblings do, because they are big enough to know what can do and what can't do. Same as me, I don't like to be control. So we always mind our own business. I only care about my mom, that's all. My father... God knows why.

I always say this to myself, correct and improve myself first before correcting others. Use the time wisely on myself better.

How about taking study loan? PTPTN. If you are smart and creative, run your own business.

Btw, I don't believe in certificates, so whether a person got no cert. to me doesn't make any difference than other.

My younger sister at your age used to be in your current situation, depressed, hardly talk to anybody (even to my mom), doesn't go to school, locked herself up in the room.

We doesn't know what went wrong. In the end, we sent her to stay with our grandma at my hometown. From there onward, things changed. She started to go to school & seem enjoy the life there. She scored beautifully in her SPM, went for Japanese lesson & is now pursuing her degree at Osaka University.

The above scenario is just for sharing purpose. Come to the end, it's all depend on what you want & how you want it to be.

How to be positive if you are surrounded by 5 negatives ......

I understand how you feel kid. I would suggest you get a job and move out (stay with some friends/people who are positive + confident).

Hope that helps.

Why can't be positive when surrounded by 5 negatives? Most of them choose to be negative and prefer crying here over here and there and tell the whole world how unfair it is and blame GOD, this and that.

You don't know all those hell I went though all my life.

Learn how to built self confident and be optimistic.

By the way, moving out is not a good solution. Nevertheless, it's the last resort.

Everytime when you are about to be positive, then 1 negative strikes, you are down again .....

Moving out will let you be independent, meet more people (YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MEET NEW PEOPLE IF YOU KEEP DWELLING IN THE SAME PLACE), slowly build your confident!

So move out!

What u said only apply to those people who think like you. A little bit of problem, down again.

It's funny that you ask people to build some confident while you trying to said that every negative issue will bring someone down.

Kid, You can set a goal and try your very best to acheive it. You know, depression is a waste of time. When you wasted the time depressing, later you waste even more time because depression put a stop at your progress and at the end you depress even more. I know and i have been thru it, depressing and whining about everything and at the end i failed my exam 4 freaking times and wasted my 2 golden years.

If lasttime i set a goal for my future, i wouldn't have to do all those stressful things listed in my signature now. I could have just gone to a big firm and earn the money for my wedding.

So pump up and set a goal now. Every man or woman is a champion. There are no loser in this world.

Indeed. A lot of people rather wasting time on depression than figuring out solutions. No goals in life - lack of commitment.

That's because people without confidence in a severely depressed state ARE easily brought down. Thus the term fragile, which IMO applies to most who are more than moderately depressed.

Sometimes the encouragement given should be accompanied by a voice of understanding, it let's the individual know there are other's who know what he's going through.



And, a lack of goals in life doesn't really indicate a lack of commitment. It may be caused by their upbringing, lifestyle, etc. For example, alot of people have no ambitions in life because all they were thought was study, study, study, and when they finish studying, they don't know what to do and are lost.

This post has been edited by malaysianPotato: Mar 14 2009, 01:47 AM

Exactly! Thats what my gf facing currently, shes been worrying too much on her age.
Shes now standing in the middle of cross road, work? or study?
Dont know how to advise her anymore, sigh ~

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This post has been edited by accutane: Mar 14 2009, 02:43 AM

go to a nearby church seriously

Maybe I should replace the word commitment to determination.

If she interested in studies, ask her to continue. After get the cert, then only start to worry about jobs.

to be honest, i used to feel like that, n even worse, i wanted to commit suicide. i din go out, i lost my fren... but then i changed.

"haiz ...... ....... what to do ? .... i feel so useless now ... i get bad result ."

bad result doesnt mean u r useless. a lot of ppl with bad result still succeed in life.


"i cant continue study because of financial problem ."

there is ptptn, n other loan u can try to apply. but if u keep ponteng n keep doind the same thing u did, u just wasting the money. so if u rly wanna continue study, pls be serious. i had my 2 years nightmare during form 4 n form 5, but i never abandoned my studies n i studied really hard.

"i cant find a job .."

did u tried hard? try not to be picky, u have to gain experience n communication skill 1st.

"i cant leave this family and this kind of enviroment and surroundings .... .... what to do ????"

u have to be independent just like other forumer said. u r already 19 years old. try to leave for a while. see whether it helps.

"currently i am so sad .... i cant express .... no one will understand ..."

i m sure there are a lot of ppl experience the same thing like u did, they may be even worse. i really hope u can be strong n be tough.

take care.

Thats the problem, she dont even know want to study or not
Meanwhile shes waiting for job offer letter from her mom's fren.
Totally no idea what shes thinking about.

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Added on March 14, 2009, 2:57 amyea, totally agree about the ptptn, cause I'm taking one as well.
But please do remember, as student, it is your job to pass all the subjects, or else you better dont borrow it as its like you are using your future money, you still have to pay back someday in future.
What I'm trying to say is, set yourself a target and strike hard to achieve it, theres no turning back.
Think positive way, dude, even though you lock yourself in your room, the sun still rises and shines.
Acting like this wont change your current situation, but probably making it even worst.
Wake up and stand up dude, its time to do something.
Cheer up, the earth is round, anything can happen as long as you put efforts on what you do and never give up.
Take care ~! Alot of peoples sitting somewhere in the earth now suffering from war, and straving.
You're a lot lucky than them, Think Maturely and Think Positively, it helps !
Good luck TS

This post has been edited by devilshen: Mar 14 2009, 02:59 AM

What she interested in? Encourage her more on the interest, might help and lead her to studies.

But if she really determine to work, then let her be. No point force herself to study and kantoi in the midway.

Even herself got no idea on what actually she interested with
I analyzed the overall situation for her and tell stories of my friends around as reference for her.
She says she scared she'll regret in future if she does not take the chance to study now.
At the same time, her family having economic burden due to some business failure, therefore shes thinking of working to help her family.
Im out of idea on how to guide her and encourage her through

My best bet.

1. Continue study since she afraid regarding her future without cert.
2. Loan PTPTN
3. Study + Part time Sat and Sun work (at least can ease family burden little bit)

That's how I survived until today.

This post has been edited by Faith+1: Mar 14 2009, 03:12 AM

Start working partime, it will get your mind away from home and problems. Have a friend who has your problem, bad siblings and unsupportive parents and shes having fun with life with a full time job even she didnt do her spm well...she's still laughing so life aint that all bad, just take it slowly and settle each problem as they come along..Thats why we are here to lend a hand

Study + Part time
I think she wont do that, shes kinda like playful girl bah
Most the things she did always end up in half way, hangat hangat tahi ayam only
I mentioned her about this, she seems to be noticed it too, hopefully she manage to get through it and go forward lo, or else I totally no idea on helping her.
Ah ~ Its kinda late jo, i better go sleep now. thanks for your advices and suggestions
TS, sorry for tumpang your thread, Good luck, all the best for ya ~
Nitez

This post has been edited by devilshen: Mar 14 2009, 03:20 AM

Give her some time to think ba. Slowly, she will realize what is more important to her.

Need to read more. Reading gives you a better perspective about life and your surroundings.

And while waiting for something to happen, go get a job.
Any honest job that pays. Work as a waiter, shop keeper, promoter, temporary school teacher, whatever. Don't just sit around whining online and thinking too much. Be productive and feel useful.

Wait wait..from the way all of u are talking its as if u guys are talking about a disease... is there a real 'disease/sickness' thats Depression? O_o....

What are you trying to implement?

IMHO, what you think is what you get. If you think your life sucks, then your life definitely will be that bad as you think. Maybe it's the truth but it depends on how you think about it. Do not give up your life, afterall, it's about yourself. No one could affect your life unless you let them to, no one can decide how your life be unless you believe what they said is truth.

Cheers! =)

Sounds like the book The Secret.

Yeah, should introduce TS to read that book.

Might I suggest a quick search on wikipedia?

Sorry, i seriously dont get what u mean ._.



Thanks and sorry, just did a read on wiki and if it wasnt because of the scientific reasoning behind it, i wouldnt really have believed such a disease/sickness existed

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This post has been edited by Anime-FAN: Mar 19 2015, 02:27 PM

Haha, of course you need to walk the talk.

Same here, flunk all my papers during secondary school as well. Never get an B or A until my college life.

go out..and breath the fresh air.
open ur eyes widely.
the world isn't unfair.
chill kid.
u're still young.
if u think, this is not the right time to further study, with all the problem..
relax ok..
there are a lot of options out there..
u just need to take a moment , to figure out what's the best to choose.
go find a job..anything..dont be picky..n never stop trying ok.
meet new friends...try to do your thing..
if u feel uncomfortable with ur enviro..
then moving out might be the best choice..but make sure u're on the correct lane.

I think you need time to stay calm and think. I know it's hard to live a life in a current situation. In fact you are living it but deep in your heart you are so discontented with your life and felt so in dilemma. It is good that you come to forum to express yourself... that will make you feel better.
You say you cannot continue study because of financial problem nor you can get a job, I suggest you to do vocational training for time being. Learn something that will be useful to your future. I'm sure you don't want to continue this depression when you have a family and everyday headache not enough money to support your family.

You have to be optimistic, i know it's easier said than done, but you have to try. Wake up morning, go for jogging... while jogging, plan yourself like your studies.. like entrant to form 6, if form 6 hard, try go for some technical studies like electrician studies.... you can grow your career from there too.
You might have screwed you SPM but would you want to continue screwing your future and live a life without any happiness and nothing to be proud of at the end of your life?

About your current family financial problem. You have to accept that economy is bad now and it may take another 1-2 years.


You may think that I talk a lot but still no one understands u. In fact, I lost my father when i was 10 and that time my bros were only 8 and 12 months. My mom was so depressed, I ponteng school and mixed with wrong friends.... but I finally got over it.
But things just don't stop here. I still have to finish my studies and get a job at the midst of recession to support my brother studies. He also just got his SPM result.

I've also hear a lot complain and sometimes i feel very fan listening to all this. But the thing is they(my grandma, mom) don't have anyone to complain to. They are even more depressed as they have to raise us and you know kids going teenage hood is problematic and I am the eldest.
So what to do, just listen to them... 1 ear in and 1 ear out (complain only la... good advice pls don't) and see them relieved after they finish complaining. What to do... god also create ppl to complain a lot 1 and ppl like us to absorb them.....

Your twin brother maybe jealous of you being the apple of your family but you don't have to see him like he's one kind... think about it... if your family is in danger, he would worry like hell........ he may be discontented but in de end of the day, all of you acknowledge each other as the closest ppl you all have. You get what I mean? Life is how you see it...so see it not in the negative way.

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Added on March 15, 2009, 12:49 amI think you need time to stay calm and think. I know it's hard to live a life in a current situation. In fact you are living it but deep in your heart you are so discontented with your life and felt so in dilemma. It is good that you come to forum to express yourself... that will make you feel better.
You say you cannot continue study because of financial problem nor you can get a job, I suggest you to do vocational training for time being. Learn something that will be useful to your future. I'm sure you don't want to continue this depression when you have a family and everyday headache not enough money to support your family.

You have to be optimistic, i know it's easier said than done, but you have to try. Wake up morning, go for jogging... while jogging, plan yourself like your studies.. like entrant to form 6, if form 6 hard, try go for some technical studies like electrician studies.... you can grow your career from there too.
You might have screwed you SPM but would you want to continue screwing your future and live a life without any happiness and nothing to be proud of at the end of your life?

About your current family financial problem. You have to accept that economy is bad now and it may take another 1-2 years.


You may think that I talk a lot but still no one understands u. In fact, I lost my father when i was 10 and that time my bros were only 8 and 12 months. My mom was so depressed, I ponteng school and mixed with wrong friends.... but I finally got over it.
But things just don't stop here. I still have to finish my studies and get a job at the midst of recession to support my brother studies. He also just got his SPM result.

I've also hear a lot complain and sometimes i feel very fan listening to all this. But the thing is they(my grandma, mom) don't have anyone to complain to. They are even more depressed as they have to raise us and you know kids going teenage hood is problematic and I am the eldest.
So what to do, just listen to them... 1 ear in and 1 ear out (complain only la... good advice pls don't) and see them relieved after they finish complaining. What to do... god also create ppl to complain a lot 1 and ppl like us to absorb them.....

Your twin brother maybe jealous of you being the apple of your family but you don't have to see him like he's one kind... think about it... if your family is in danger, he would worry like hell........ he may be discontented but in de end of the day, all of you acknowledge each other as the closest ppl you all have. You get what I mean? Life is how you see it...so see it not in the negative way.

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Added on March 15, 2009, 12:56 amCaring among siblings is not about controlling. It's about knowing if they are doing fine... Speaking the truth, in the future, I also might not be able to help my siblings if they going bankrupt or anything because I might have a family to take care but emotional support is there u know.

Talking about business, it depends on economic situation and capital that you have.
With or without certificates also will have work. But with certificate, the path of work is there. Without certificate, you will have to work harder. Possibly without certificate, you can't hold any professional titles. Maybe it's only me, I care about pride because what I believe is when I die, I want to flashback that I have done many meaningful and successful things in life...

So it's up to you.... got opinion from ppl who don believe in certs and another who trust the value of certs

This post has been edited by EddyHyip: Mar 15 2009, 12:56 AM

what happened to depressed kid? no more replies...is he/she ok now?

I do really hope he got the message.

hope he is moving out

Moving out is not a good solution ; last resort only.

There are many problems lies within the TS himself.

hai there..u knoe i suffer frm depression too...i know people may say its all about u but for me it is about me..im the one who's suffering..i have difficulties communicating wif others..i like being alone..im sad without knowing wat causing it...angry...n so on..its started wif my family oso..i came frm a broken family..parents divored...its really effected me until nw..its been 12 years ady...i still remember d time i started feeling sad..angry..so on...so im still strugling until nw..just to tell u u r not alone..there are lots other suffering frm depression...its a disease n a disease should be treated...i tried lots of things..n recently i stumble across tis reiki healing frm d internet...u should try it..it works for me...plus soothing music like buddha music also helps not to mention talking to others bout ur feeling or just writing it up anywhere..in ur diary..or someones blogs..or ur profile..good luck my fren:)

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Added on March 15, 2009, 4:28 pmyeah hopefully he's alright cause no one can really help except for himself.

This post has been edited by cloud007jerry: Mar 15 2009, 04:28 PM

Sometimes life throws us some curve balls. There are however times when we are unable to deal with all of these stresses and problems. When this happens we begin to feel depressed. Find someone close to you to talk to..it helps!

http://www.depression-anxiety-stress.com/d...ssion-help.html

This post has been edited by mingock: Jun 2 2009, 12:12 PM

Find someone to talk to is easy. But find someone who is capable to deal with it together, its hard and rare to find.