First of all, Congratulations dude

dont worry.. everything will be okay.. you'll manage.. child is a bless.

Child is not a financial burden.

Child is a blessing.

Stay strong brotha

If you need any help in the future, work wise or money, just ask.

We might not be able to help much, but I am sure some of us will help you in ways to ease your burden.

This post has been edited by GTA5: Jul 24 2025, 08:25 PM

TS and his wife talked about having only one child, but in this post, I don't see any real effort to prevent pregnancy. If you and your wife were truly serious about avoiding another pregnancy, situations like this wouldn't happen. Don't tell me you were relying on the rhythm method or the pull-out method—both of which have been shown to be highly unreliable.

I would suggest abortion for the well-being of everyone involved. Why bring another child into a world where both of you are unable to provide the best for them? Even worse, the limited resources meant for your first child will now have to be shared with a second. The world is a never-ending rat race and hardships. I see little reasons for bringing another child into it—especially when they cannot consent to being born, and their parents weren’t even planning to have them in the first place.

Those encouraging you not to consider abortion are only feeding into your own selfish desires. Have you truly thought about whether that unborn child would even want to be born under these circumstances?

Don’t be surprised if, one day, you hear things like “I didn’t ask to be born” or “I wasn’t even planned,” especially if their life doesn’t turn out well.

This post has been edited by imadeyoureadthis1: Jul 24 2025, 09:17 PM

Serious advise, u might want to consider vasectomy IF u and ur partner decide no more kids. Discuss with her.

2 kids is no good, the elder will bully the young one like no tomorrow

Dude u think so easy say want abortion just do it?

Some ppl may regret after that and feel guilty then lead to depression and even self harm.

I know everyone going to FCUK me!

Base on what you write, my advice is drop now as under 6 weeks is no life n your life partner is safe.

Please do it probably as this is your life partner.

101% agree!

Watch your blood pressure!

i agree, that's why abortion should be legalized and make it accessible in public. We don't need to pump out kids they lack their own agency to think independently and do on their own will

wait it for few more weeks cannot drop already, it will considered as murder

A maid with min wage is 1.7k. Bringing the maid in is 15-20k (one time)

Costs related to birth which are non-mandatory: A caesarean in private 10-15k. Confinement 20-30k. Confinement lady is lower 5-10k you provide the ingredients. But since you have not mentioned these I'm assuming these aren't issues (government hosp; in laws/parents)

I understand not wanting a child after a certain number (though I do not understand childless marriages) but even contemplating having to abort a child once it has been conceived because of lifestyle sacrifices (read: not needs)...

This post has been edited by Inc. 100: Jul 25 2025, 05:24 AM

Few things for saving cost at early stage. Go to government hospital for checkup and delivery. Try to get as many second hand items as possible for baby needs. Breast feed to at least 2 years old. Going to save tons on milk powder. Skip all those confiment, is just transitional thing. Of course finally, find better job or get more business. I know how you feel. I have the same plan of having 1 child but fate take its way, my wife was pregnant with twins. 😊 god must be joking. We were struggling financially as well but 13 years later my twins are in internal school. We have more vacations than you can imagine. My twins celebrated their 5th birthday in London. I cannot even believe that. Sometimes fate take its path. Just have to walk the path the best you can.

This post has been edited by sonerin: Jul 25 2025, 07:23 AM

Mix respond with some suggest abortion but not others.

One kid is really sad; good to have another one. I see my only one kid cousin growing up alone .. really lonely one so I agree at least 2 min ..
You should count your blessing as new couple usually hard to get pregnant due to PCOS and what not (medical health related matters)

Not to be mean to compare you with "foreigner" .. if they can have UNHCR with few kids to survive .. why can't you since you are local with better priviledge than them ..

Also I think there is a saying "Anak itu rezeki" .. It the end, things will find its way ..

The argument you've presented is a breathtakingly cynical and intellectually bankrupt assault on human life, family, and resilience. This is a disgusting and soulless calculation that reduces a human being to a line item on a budget. What is "the best"? A bigger house? More expensive toys? A trust fund? History is filled with brilliant, happy, and successful people who grew up with far less.

Life is filled with hardship, yes, but it is also filled with indescribable joy, beauty, love, and triumph. To deny someone the chance at all of it because you are afraid of the difficult parts is the height of cowardice.

That's really selfish, not "sound" selfish lo.

Keep it. Dont abortion. It is killing.
Many people do want kid but cant.

first. thank you for replying.

2nd. you need to be reprimanded. coz its not like it might not happen again.
you dah know you poor and cant afford another child, yet still childish and say things like
"Nope I didn't use protection, all my life I've only used protection for 3 times out of 400+ times (lost count), that's why I was so sure of my pull out game, well this time things didn't work out."
well tough luck, tough guy, you outran your luck.
if this aint stupid i dunno what is.
i get it when at times, maybe too excited and didnt use protection once a year or something but to brag about this?

lastly. nasi dah jadi bubur.
everyone will think differently la. so hard to say or advise, even your financial is relative, you say not enough other ppl say enough.
heck i reprimanded you but if i got another accident 3rd kid, i will "struggle" like you too.

though i must say, i dont think i will go to abortion route (think so la. but mana tau).

not sure how old is your kid now but its not all doom and gloom la.
like those food, clothes or even baby stuff expenses could be kept low.

lets not talk about confinement, etc since i dunno you will go center or got parents/in law help. i know i did get help.
heck we even use cloth diapers coz we think its better for the baby, only use diapers at night.
eat more at home, eat more hawker food, limit restaurant outing a bit more.
find more activity locally that kids and your family enjoy.

the biggest expenses would be babysitter and the kindergarden i would say. but after that. the kids will have free study in primary and secondary school, so you got 11 years of each to beef up your saving again.
dial down your oversea vacation, see more your own country. the kids dont have much demand and its a waste of money. want go further wait till they older.
if you say its your wife and your own wish to travel, well tough luck, cookie. you asked for it.

college time well there is cheap version too. like TARUC. by then if you dont mind (not ideal) there is still ptptn and kids can take more responsibility.

unless you itchy like me, kids like english more, thinking cheap private secondary school

but ultimately choice is yours la. if abortion, while i dont encourage it, there is way for it.
i think i know a clinic nearby my area that do that in KL.
discuss with your partner, discuss if keep it, this is going to be the way of life until things got better, is she okay to work with you on that.

This post has been edited by cempedaklife: Jul 25 2025, 11:00 AM

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was in your situation last year.
already have 3 (f,f,m) and both of us busy working schedule, our bed activity is very limited, due to youngest baby sleep with us. 1 year can count with 1 hand. wife had to take care of kids + work, while i need to work late night.

one fine day, we were both wfh and kids at daycare.. suddenly dunno why got mood, we did it at my working desk, it was sudden, we never use protection cos its so rare and unprepared... i think that was the only sex we had that year..and voila.. came home 1 day wife ask me check the item on my table.. i had a look it's ultrasound of a twin baby...

then wife ask the hard question, keep or abort? it's a twin... hardest decision.. 2 lives there... we dare not face it... for the next few weeks wife go checkup as normal and we kinda avoid talking about it.. until 1 day wife ask me seriously, must make decision already. i said keep it. she presented all the realities and ask me am i ready... i had no choice, i said yes.

so in the few months to come, we started planning, bought a MPV, bought a landed house, a semi-D (just recently moved in2 months ago), hired a maid, etc. both me and my wife, we are T20... but now we can feel the financial struggle la.. maid and the 2 babies we sent to daycare cos worry maid cannot jaga... so 5 kids expenses, food, clothing, daycare, everything.... lifestyle also change... we had to cancel our japan trip this year, last year before wife deliver, 5 of us went to korea and UK trip. this year? next year? most likely stay at home.. because it's hard to travel with 5 kids, with 2 twin babies + 1 boy toddler. the girls are ok.. they are helpful and listen to us. but the boy....

my wife would sometime complain and went berserk and hysteria mode.. due to the stress with the 2 babies, and change of lifestyle, etc. so yeah it's affecting her greatly... myself too... at night cannot sleep, 1 cry the other will cry...

did i regret? no, but it could've been prevented if i didnt take things for granted. i only worry my wife. i'll be travelling to middle east for few weeks, i worry if my wife can handle 5 kids.

but let's look at the positive side.. i will make sure all 5 of them have good education, good family values, and when they are grown up, situation will be better. thinking of the benefits of having large family. for now, have to work hard and sacrifice a bit. another good thing is, wife deliver via C section so we asked doctor to ikat for her... so no more worries about any unwanted pregnancies again in future..