I bet some of them are going to be jealous at you.

Those who bought house feel burdened because the guilt and regret of buying a house starts to kick in after the honeymoon of "I bought a house!" already passed. They might start to wonder why I need to buy in the first place? It's so expensive and I already can live at my parents house. Why buying at the first place just for the swag to show to society you can buy a house?

The one who married started to feel their money is not theirs anymore because almost all the money they earned goes to kids and wife. Even though their wife got earn, but it feels like they are still responsible to provide because that's what husbands must do.. unless you don't love your wife...

They started to live in survival mode instead of enjoying life. Life is not about entertainment anymore. It's about responsibility and duty as a husband.

They just imagine what if they are free. Can just come back from job and play games until midnight. Can just use their saving to buy new phone, new GPU, new PS 5. Can go restaurants and eat whatever food they like. Can just go out with friends good brothers to binge. Can go vacations multiple times per year because they just need to pay their own ticket.

Now they are slaves who earn money for family and paying debts.

But again yes, by society standard, they are ahead but that doesn't mean they are living happier. And they will start to quietly regret following such standard set by society but there is no turning back. But I believe in the 50's they might be grateful they passed the storms. But they have suffered for 20 years to finally get freedom again. And they are already old.

i figured childless is the way to go. 100x easier to divorce and plan for retirement when kids not in the equation.

So much time to do what u want. More disposable income.

You always can become part time parent by helping taking care of nephew/nieces. Go volunteer at local orphanage also can give u the similar fulfilling feeling from raising child. Minus the headaches and heartaches of actual raising child from birth till adult.

By the time i figured out all this already stuck with 4 kids.

Now everyday i wake up go do the job i dont really like to do, just to sustain the family i regret having. My only aim now is enough savings for all kids until they graduate, then enough retirement savings to sustain myself and my wife.

Don't make hasty decision in this turbulent time & AI era.
How sure r u that your job n income will not be affected.
I foresee more downsizing in biz, jobs, n economy.
In 25 years time, will there be jobs for your children after spending tons on education.

If given the choice, would you turn back the clock and not have kids or married at all ?

marry maybe. definitely not to my current partner. i am sure she will say the same. lol

Definitely NO for kids. If you are responsible, and love your kids. You will never in good conscience bring them into this world.

Tak apa. Nasi become bubur liao.

Maybe can think of plan b lah. Sounds so sad wei sammore 4 ekor.

what to do. Just hope my 4 ekor didnt repeat my mistake.

I really do not recommend marrying first love. Also will definitely have a proper talk with my children regarding expectation vs reality in a relationship. DO NOT ignore red flags.

marry maybe. definitely not to my current partner. i am sure she will say the same. lol

Definitely NO for kids. If you are responsible, and love your kids. You will never in good conscience bring them into this world.

How did yr first love not meet yr expectations?

It is only 1/2 of a life cycle. You still have 1/2 of the life cycle to experience.

To make changes, we lead by example. When we change, the other half will follow. You have to put it this way: if the wife is your own children, can you give up & abandon them? Can you just say they are hopeless & won't change?

Leading people close to you to change sometimes cannot use a direct approach or talk only if it takes more than that. Don't give up.

We didn't understand love vs affection. We were too "in love" to realize we are not compatible with each other. Fate brought us together and we are too blissful when we went along with the flow until we realize what we thought was love is not actually what it is. By the time we realize we already gone too far, and we are now too indifferent to even bother to separate. Too indifferent to try to find the spark. Just cruise along while raising the kids with our best effort. Feels like u are stuck in traffic jam, but u go through it irregardless. Not like u can say "fuk it" then u-turn and drive away. U still has to endure it because quitting is impossible.