i think u got this wrong. ppl who regret in thier decision will regret in most decision they do. including having kids or not. not the other way around.

if u are not a regret kinda ppl, then u dun regret even if u have or do not have kids.

I have a colleague, 50 y.o. of course he never says he regrets having kids, that's a very strong word to use but he has said it before, he has 3 kids, and given the choice with today's cost of living and challenges, if he can turn back time, he will choose to be single.

nah mate you seem to think regret only comes from experiencing it, and not also from not experiencing it.

both also can regret, since regret goes both ways lah

i was only pointing out the article was focusing on those who had kids are regretting having them

the key is always look far enough to the future FOR YOUR CHILD.....NOT FOR YOU

I always agree with the words of David Benatar

"Better never to have been."

again. not about experience it or not. is about the person character and personality.

if u are a person who like to "complain", u will find fault and always complain.

similarly if u always regret this and that. u will always find a fault/reason to justify yourself.

i bet u ask the person what regret he/she have in life.. i can hear stories for 10 days or more.. and having kids is just one of it..

This post has been edited by brkli: Apr 24 2024, 06:19 PM

Not really, stange you think regret is a special feeling

Its normal to feel regret

Anyone can feel regret, not just those that like to complaint

kesian la your tahap comprehension.


This post has been edited by brkli: Apr 24 2024, 07:57 PM

It’s the parents’ job to provide as they are the one who decide to have kid/kids. Not that the kid ask to be born to this world.

That's assuming the kid will turn out to be healthy/functional/normal too and not dependent on the parents for life.
Having a kid is basically a commitment for life. Best case scenario, they will be independent after 20 years and can earn their own living. Worst case scenario, they gonna suffer after the parents die.

It's not socially acceptable to say "hey I kinda regret having my son" cause they cannot undo what they have done. So of course no one will openly and willingly admit it. But you can see all the anonymous posts on facebook/reddit sharing their stories. Even worst, who will say that they hate their kid lol. They'll get stoned to death for saying it.

The problem with people regretting is because almost everyone pressures you to follow the lifescript, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids, etc. If you even voice out that you don't really want to follow this lifescript (e.g. choosing to be childfree), we will get called all sorts of things, charsiew, selfish, not appreciative of your parents, kesian your parents won't have grandkids, you'll change your mind, you'll never know children is the best thing in the world, you'll grow old alone and unfulfilled, no one will be at your funeral... basically majority of the post you see here on this thread. So there's pressure, FOMO and also hardly any parents share about how difficult it actually is to go through childbirth and parenting. Other parents are always saying how it's a positive experience and it's so worth it that it makes new couples/mothers expect all the positive but none of the negatives. When expectation and reality doesn't match up, that's where the regret and resentment comes in.

If only parents don't sugar-coat the truth so often, new couples may actually be prepared for what's to come and not just simply piap, make a baby, oh so cute, then regrets later. It's a big decision that cannot be undone, they have no choice but to push thru it now. What good will it bring to tell their friends and family that they regret their past decision? So they just deal with it and keep telling themselves that everything will be fine.

Pass with flying colors???
Have you seen how were struggling to have the publics comply with measures.
Locally speaking, our pkp enforcement is shit. Mask mandate pun susah. Vaccine uptake was slow. Belum lagi yang makan ubat cacing kuda.

Same goes overseas.
Antivaxxers on the rise.

In the USA, eradicated diseases re-emerge.
Their politic are pretty polarised right now if not more than ever.
You could never imagine Americans voicing out opinions against Israel support 10 years ago. All those woke agendas too.

Then we have environmental activists in europe.

Whatever you're smoking, its messing your view of reality.

However this sweet period is short live maybe last for less than 10 years …

The remaining of her lifespan and treatment on you will define your answer …

But having say that depends how you educate your children … and how they learn it from how you treat your parents … most charsiew learns to be charsiew from parents …

up to each individual wanna have kid or not ba.

human lifespan is very short. just enjoy while you can.

eventually u will pass away, and will be forgotten. all your material things that u earn this life cannot pass on to next life also.

if you dont want to have kids then is fine, let the other use the resources, u no rugi pun.

i married for the first 2 years also no child. everyday after work spend time in front pc only. if i ever wanna be single i think i will just enough to survive. no point i hoarding so much resources.

now life is much more convenient and advance than few decades before, but ppl are less happy than before too.

Can't blame them.. maybe it is the grandparent who wanted grandchild so much, now handle lah right

P.S. I single unmarried

Yea those who said it usually will splurge more before retirement

The natural way is actually killing the old people (in nature the old will be left to die). You should be able to see which is bad; growing population of young people or growing population of old people.

You’re the one that says regret is limited to those that like to complaint 🤷‍♂️

No baby here, already over 40y
No regrets langsung.

not old enough to feel everything.

If you've never tried it, there's nothing to regret.

Poor you. Your kid is 1 year old. No time for your games.

Yes, people regret because not willing to let go of games. Games is more important or at least just as important as the child you chose to have.

It's true some people are not cut out to be parents because their priorities in life were never suited to be a parent. It's not that the child was the problem