ngl this is actually a good advices, what makes you so special if any admirer is doing the same thing (eg. spend on her, buy her stuffs, emotionally available whenever she wants), people dont appreciate things that come too easy and you're making it too easy for her, females love the chase, not you chasing her but her chasing you, try it next time and different results can be produced, lansi abit to heigten ur perceived value

I like to explain the caveats and nuances to avoid misunderstanding or being taken out of context... Happy to do so as long as someone out there is willing to listen/engage in healthy debate.

The modern era is very much polarised and it's already apparent in this forum. Stereotypes/bias is human nature to speed up our processing to quickly filter out "potential same type of person who have wronged us previously", so it's important to be conscious of that: recognise that they exist to protect you, but also understand that being overprotected may prevent growth, or worse, that the protection is applied against the wrong person.

The 100 humans social experiment on netflix was a fun watch to understand that subconscious.

I do have a stupid question. Say I am a guy who is prone to be attracted with those broken girls and broken girls come with 1 set of weird characteristics where normally it is always homogenous and after dating 1 broken girl and feel I can't hold on to her broken characteristics, should I like go for more broken girls or should I just find more normal ppl?

Chill la bro. It's not like you didn't gain anything. You gained experience and now understand girls are not what you imagine them to be

TS, nothing wrong. I find the outcome was normal & it was one of the expected scenarios. It is the "probation" period similar to the probation period before one want to confirm a permanent staff. Even after 6 months, the employer will still think the candidate is not the suitable for role and can still request the HR to terminate the staff. Your reaction is something you need to look into, only 5 dates can inflicts such an emotional reaction - it means you have almost no tolerance to accept rejection. I would rather believe the girl did try to give it a chance but your characteristics didn't match what she was expecting. You should stop looking thing from your personal angle only but also from the opponent's angle.

This post has been edited by nihility: Mar 2 2024, 06:15 PM

If you are hardworking and think can change people, then go for brokern girls. Some people like the thrill of fixing things.

If you are like me, lazy belivef you should not change someone, don't bother. Don't make yourself miserable.

if you enjoy the ride, that's life changing experience.. if you want something that lasts, don't show signs of weakness.. if someone loves you, they will come to you.. wise versa if they think you as convenience, then they will reply based on their mood only..

old school formula la brader some girls will just move on if play hard to get..

Depends how you define "broken". Would you label yourself "broken" too? I mean, sorry to be blunt but I can also say that your divorce made you a "broken" person too right?

So, why do you define these women as "broken"? How do you find that out?

I think it's inevitable as one ages, s/he gains more battle wounds/scars of life. Some are fresh wounds they're actively trying to heal, some are years old scars that still itch to date. I think it's a matter of how bad the current scars are -- do you think you can tolerate these ongoing issues, assuming you fail to help them heal / they can't heal? Some people can be a wonderful person beyond the pain, but some warp to a point of no return because of the pain.

You're nearing 40 so unlike a young chap new to love, ladies your age are likelier to be unavailable or "broken", so your choice becomes limited. On the flip side, you know what it means to be broken. Empathy is like a psychic power to read people's mind.

in my opinion, if at beginning already smooth, it's a red flag
usually if such relationship can be easily build, it could lose easily as well
i know it's hurt, best way to move on is to get into another relationship. now u got experience, dont put too much emotion/hope in next rs too early

Yes, I do consider myself as broken and yes I know it's a 50/50 gamble on this. But I do believe in the saying of "What you went through is what made you today" so old wounds might have shaped a person's thinking like how it did mine. Thus I feel if a person was shaped this way right from the start and did not heal from old wounds, I guess it's hard to even get them coming out normal?

1. Stop giving presents to a girl just because you happen to like her. Only give her presents when she earned it. And just going on dates with you (which I assume.you paid) is not good enough.

2. That confession. A desperate guy trying to corner a girl. "I like you, will you like me back? please 😭" Ugh. Predictable results.

Dont confess. But you may ask, how I know a girl likes me back then? The answer is how she responds to your touch.

Or give the girl ultimatum. If you don't like it so be it. I move on. I got other options. Haha...

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Mar 3 2024, 11:44 AM

Bluffing bro

Then it means it wasn't yours to begin with or what you are offering just doesn't tickle her interest. So move on and create scenario where they want you more then you want them.

Ultimatums only work if the girl has invested in you.

But when she has invested, you dont need ultimatums.

5 dates and u no Kiss her or hold her hand?

男人不坏女人不爱

Normally after first date u know if the girl has feeling for u. If got 2nd date you can make chance to hold her hand already

If she shy shy then try on 3rd date if still can't succeed then maybe she not into u, then forget about it.



This post has been edited by darksider: Mar 4 2024, 02:21 PM

Similar approach.

If by 3rd date no touchy touchy, that means no chemistry.

She goes to the KIV list.

KIV can still be friends and I can still go out if Im bored. But wont pursue anymore.

there are girls who more subconsciously reject sexual advances
a) she doesnt perceive his game as high value to elicit her emotions
b) she doesnt perceive his lifestyle or money to be able to elevate her living status
c) her family or friends influence her "current" situation that sleeping with a man too quickly = bad

I met a particularly virgin cristian girl in her early 20s many years ago we went on more than 5 dates and ultimately sex didnt happen. 3 years later, we met again and everything happened quickly. I asked her why and whether she slept with a black guy she cheekily smirk

as a guy all you can do is extend your invitations clear, the issue is most people scared getting rejected because they grant meaning to the name of it.

Very simple , don't put too much effort and emotions on someone who isn't into you . You should be able to tell in a couple of dates

This post has been edited by Breaktru: Mar 4 2024, 08:10 PM