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 Just got rejected after 5 dates

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redracer2004
post Mar 2 2024, 11:54 AM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Mar 2 2024, 01:14 AM)
I like to explain the caveats and nuances to avoid misunderstanding or being taken out of context... Happy to do so as long as someone out there is willing to listen/engage in healthy debate.

The modern era is very much polarised and it's already apparent in this forum. Stereotypes/bias is human nature to speed up our processing to quickly filter out "potential same type of person who have wronged us previously", so it's important to be conscious of that: recognise that they exist to protect you, but also understand that being overprotected may prevent growth, or worse, that the protection is applied against the wrong person.

The 100 humans social experiment on netflix was a fun watch to understand that subconscious.
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I do have a stupid question. Say I am a guy who is prone to be attracted with those broken girls and broken girls come with 1 set of weird characteristics where normally it is always homogenous and after dating 1 broken girl and feel I can't hold on to her broken characteristics, should I like go for more broken girls or should I just find more normal ppl?
redracer2004
post Mar 3 2024, 09:07 AM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Mar 3 2024, 01:32 AM)
Depends how you define "broken". Would you label yourself "broken" too? I mean, sorry to be blunt but I can also say that your divorce made you a "broken" person too right?

So, why do you define these women as "broken"? How do you find that out?

I think it's inevitable as one ages, s/he gains more battle wounds/scars of life. Some are fresh wounds they're actively trying to heal, some are years old scars that still itch to date. I think it's a matter of how bad the current scars are -- do you think you can tolerate these ongoing issues, assuming you fail to help them heal / they can't heal? Some people can be a wonderful person beyond the pain, but some warp to a point of no return because of the pain.

You're nearing 40 so unlike a young chap new to love, ladies your age are likelier to be unavailable or "broken", so your choice becomes limited. On the flip side, you know what it means to be broken. Empathy is like a psychic power to read people's mind.
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Yes, I do consider myself as broken and yes I know it's a 50/50 gamble on this. But I do believe in the saying of "What you went through is what made you today" so old wounds might have shaped a person's thinking like how it did mine. Thus I feel if a person was shaped this way right from the start and did not heal from old wounds, I guess it's hard to even get them coming out normal?

 

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