Lady, mind share what you will do when encounter a narcissistic MIL? Ignore her or confront her?

Worst case, she caused a lot of argument between you and your husband. Yet, your husband seems to always sided her and put all the blames on you. His logic is she is old and hardly can change so just endure it.

lai lai share more specific story, then only can advise

Pee on her to show dominance.

1. She think she always right. Even there is evidence to show it's her fault yet she push it to other people or said "I don't remember/forgot already"
2. Always cause disharmony between sibling and their spouse
3. She think she is the most important person in the family, need everyone attention and care.
4. Selfish
5. Lazy
6. Like gossip and "kepoh"- always monitor what we are doing
7. No common sense
8. She think her children are the best and others all useless
9. Hypocritical

Too many to write.. One word toxic person

best is don't stay together in the same house

One mountain cannot contain two tigers

Don't stay at the same house.
Ask your hubby to get a house. few block away.

This post has been edited by OlgaC4: Apr 26 2023, 10:56 AM

No use. My husband always said he prioritize me over others, but when thing happens he always side his mother. Talk only, no action.

I am getting tired of this family

from your husband perspective though, you have to understand that his mom is the one that has been there and caring for him since he's small.. so need to be patient and compromise a bit.. there's this saying, you don't only marry your partner, you marry the whole family.. but at the same time your husband must also defend you because you're his partner.. just that he needs to be a bit tactful.. like my mom and fiance also dont really get along well, but i told my fiance, understand my mom can be a bit annoying, just be patient and compromise for a while only while meeting her.. because in the end, we don't always gonna meet her since i already bought house far away from my parents

Don't say that too early, *touchwood* if one of the parent passed away first, you can't leave another one alone at that home or worst case no other sibling willing to stay with the father/mother, so you have to take him/her in

I totally understand the "husband perspective" but him just being unfair. He totally understand/know his mother's characters and behaviors, to the point he can't tahan the mother too but yet want me to compromise and patient

Conflict with in-laws quite a common topic.

There is another option. Why not you try to "bribe" your MIL out of this. "Bribe" can be by giving some benefits to achieve mutual win-win scenario. If you know she like something, try to "bribe" her heart.

Life is short, don't go against each other, if she willing to cooperate, both you & her can have better days. She "make" her day, you "make" your day, there is no need to go against each another.

No, this is not the common one but a narcissistic person. In her world, only herself. You can't "bribe" or satisfy her, she will never satisfied. She think she is the queen everyone must serve her.

Before married, I used to stay at her house for few months with rental paying and helping around the household chores yet she complaint I not giving enough

As one of the forummer said.

Move out.

I did. So much better. In my case is my mum. Everything is others fault and not hers.

Now she is almost begging me to move back in which I refused.

Just visit on special occasions like birthday etc.

Good ruck to you

This post has been edited by AthrunIJ: Apr 26 2023, 04:36 PM

If only my husband willing to do so. According to my husband, have been talking/advise her multiple times but no cure.

The current house is my house not her, so it's her to move out and she have no where to go. And my husband sympathy her and not dare to ask her out worry being unfilial son.

This post has been edited by @lice~~: Apr 27 2023, 07:58 AM

The one way is for me to shut myself mentally when around her when living together.

It does make the message go across. Only talk when the matter is important.

Like 2 stranger living in the same house? Ya, I am in this phase too, stop talking or listening to her. Keep it short and clear.

not trolling but i would be thinking to get diff husband.
u see life is short. 10 years will go unnoticed. and if by then only want to open new book/chapter, 10 years of life wasted already.
and only another 10 years remaining ( im talking about youthfull life) of course one might live until 70 but i personally think 55-70 not prime anymore.

should really embrace the life of 30-50

done tokok

Yep.

Since its your house. You have a say in house matters. Don't ask her for opinions. Your house your rules.

Done.

This does come to mind before, let's say MIL still have another 5 years to go means I need to suffer for the 5 years. I can't make up my mind yet.