She treat it as her son's house even she well known who pay the most bills or maybe she just don't care at all. My house like a hotel to her, come and go as her wish. And me become like the tenant already.

Your own house there is a different.

Old woman what to expect. Suck it up and move on.

You got kids already?


You will need her help with kids.

Liek I said.

There are times you will need to put your foot down.

And again all the best to you.

No easy dealing with all these people.

hopefully 5 years or shorter. sometimes this type of people hard to go one. plot twist we go first before them

Yes, 2 kids. No she seldom help take care my kids.

Thanks


if that really happen I think she is the most happy person..

and because of her, my husband and I argue again yesterday

Cut her off. Stay at different house.


Genesis 2:24
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh

From Bible prospective

She can't. Technically the husband & wife already moved out & staying at their own house. The MIL now come to stay with them because the FIL already passed away.

If the old people really talk don't want to listen, be friend with them they don't appreciate & kwailan abit some more, they will find soon themselves the path to old folk home, that will be the usual stories public get to hear. Then what comes next will be the story about the char siew children alleged for mistreating their parent for sending them to old folk home.

The ending need not have to be such sad, go negotiate the better ending with the MIL. Not worth for such ending.

The best fate arrangement you could wish now - some neighbors / relative son send their parent to old folks home because the old ppl too kwailan. That incident will become a lesson for your MIL to tune down.

This post has been edited by nihility: Apr 27 2023, 05:28 PM

The son have to stand up. PERIOD

well
hope there's equivalent phrase 'dont stick your dick in crazy' for you case
i stand by living meaningful life.
of course theres ups and downs in life bla bla bla.
but it's important for each person to evaluate which ones they are willing to confront

No use because she was actually moved out from the elder son's house and to my house due to kwailan with them too. Yet she never admit she was wrong and claim that the elder son is useless didn't defend her and the DIL is bad. Like I mentioned before, she always right, she will give you tons of excuses to cover herself and blame to others. She can even tell lie direct in front of the person and make herself become the victim or act innocent.

Too bad then my husband only doing the talk and no other actions. He do say that he always scold/educate his mother in private and when the timing is right but still no use. Same thing goes to me too, he always said "I told you don't say so much, just ignore her","pretend didn't see, didn't hear", "just walk away from her, don't confront" and etc. To a point he scolded me before being childish, immature, talk too much, not listen to him and no respect other

If I were in your place, if it were to happen to me. These should be the sequence of options:-

1 )Try to befriend the in laws. She goods, I'm good, everyone happy. If bribing her can do the jobs, I won't mind spending the cost.

2) If option 1 don't work, second worse scenario. The in-laws do her stuff, don't encroach the boundary. As long as she respect that boundary, that will do.

3) If option 2 don't work, 3rd worse scenario. Vent it out. There is limit on each one can take, instead of complain direct to your husband, just get into direct fight with the in laws, if need to shout just shout. If she don't want to see this scene, ask her to better behave, if not, you just need to make sure you is the devil that she will regret to provoke. The eldest DIL is bad, send 1 signal that 2nd DIL is worse if she continue to be kwai lan.

4) Look for the old folks home, sign her up. Call the eldest son, each family to share the expenses.

This world, people fear the ruthless & bully the kind ppl.

If possible, there is no need to go till option 3) & 4). The best case scenario is 1).

Mind to share few examples of scenario 1?

based on my past observation, wife should never stay together with MIL, or even nearby. when seeing each other once in a year, just bear with it.

This is actually a life circle.. we grew up.. we go to school .. we found a partner .. we start a family ..
yes normally the ladies will complain more than the guys because normally the wives follows the husbands. being a husband also isnt that easy because if the MIL and wife doesnt click, he will then have to handle two women very tactfully
now.. as we grow older.. we will too have kids.. and our kids starts his or her family. same situation if you son brings home a wife that you cant click.. then the table will be turned around.

This is not about can click or not, it's toxic person.

Anyway, if one day I can't click with my DIL I will move out or they move out and never stay together. Actually out there a lot of this kind of cases and the end both sides never stay together but my MIL can't. She is very dependent person and never can stay alone (scare this scare that) yet she like to become the trouble maker to each and every family she go

yes. i have encountered this with my grandmother. she too was very toxic until the extend with a temper. so my dad and his siblings decided on moving her around families. that was how extensive the problem was and i remember the siblings having regular meeting to discuss before finalizing the plan to move my grandmother between houses. i cant remember how many month or months with each house. maybe this can be an option for you to try discuss.. but if the house belongs the your MIL.. then I think my option is not viable.

pyscho ur husband until he follow u

This post has been edited by kitsunegeisha: Apr 28 2023, 05:48 PM