Thanks for breaking my story 1 by 1.

Nope I did not become a better Christian just to impress her. I was actually a Christian since I was young because my dad, when he got cancer, he was somehow converted and turn Christian so our whole family follow suit. However, I really become a serious Christian after my 2nd relationship. It was then in church when serving I met her. I'm 31 and yeah, we agreed to date with the goal of marriage. We knew each other 3 years before we got together which means I chased her for 3 years.

I never wanted to marry that girl. It was just a moment of lust or maybe desperation. I have zero feelings for her.

I know where you are coming from. That is why this mistake is so so hard to swallow.

For that moment, I did not think with my head. I know. I enjoy the lust though I know its wrong. I hated myself for that.

Cut contact with second girl? Second girl being my ex or the other girl on text? If its the other girl, of course I deleted her and block her from all channels already.

Thanks for your advise! For everything. For willing to talk to me. I will pm you if I need you.

Thanks for breaking my story 1 by 1.

Nope I did not become a better Christian just to impress her. I was actually a Christian since I was young because my dad, when he got cancer, he was somehow converted and turn Christian so our whole family follow suit. However, I really become a serious Christian after my 2nd relationship. It was then in church when serving I met her. I'm 31 and yeah, we agreed to date with the goal of marriage. We knew each other 3 years before we got together which means I chased her for 3 years.

I never wanted to marry that girl. It was just a moment of lust or maybe desperation. I have zero feelings for her.

I know where you are coming from. That is why this mistake is so so hard to swallow.

For that moment, I did not think with my head. I know. I enjoy the lust though I know its wrong. I hated myself for that.

Cut contact with second girl? Second girl being my ex or the other girl on text? If its the other girl, of course I deleted her and block her from all channels already.

Thanks for your advise! For everything. For willing to talk to me. I will pm you if I need you.

Your work acquaintance. Great work!

Don't hate yourself anymore. Learn to forgive yourself just as God has forgiven you.

It's hard. I breakdown every night thinking of the whole incident. It gets worse when I feel my gf is suffering more than me. I know I have to stand up, to build myself back.

I know either to move on with life or to get my gf back, there is only one way. To live my life well to show my repentance. To build my relationship back with God.

I plan to stop contacting with her for 2 weeks and then reach out. Hopefully by a month after the incident, she will soften down her heart.

Another sleepless night....

".....There were not nudes or nothing physical involved"
"..... nudes or nothing physical involved"
".....nothing physical"

What job did you have before, the general scope of ?

Im sorry but I cant help but feel insulted with you holding yourself in such high regard/esteem.

Can you say you're well read in world history ? By what measure are you judging yourself by .. you're already in the top 1% saints, I do not understand the depression. I know it feels shitty after realizing demoralizing things you've done, maybe just don't do it again ? or dwell on it too much ?

This post has been edited by ieatchickens: Nov 7 2019, 06:57 AM

Why say I hold myself with such high esteem? Top 1% saints? What are you talking about??

Im talking about your understanding of this plane of existence … and how raising a family isn't the ultimate wisdom/endgame.

Then what

Then it'll be too easy, wouldn't it.




http://timelineindex.com/


2.3 billion years,
name me ONE instance where introduction of an innocent being to the human condition didn't get the inductee fucked in the butt (pardon my hiri motu)

click on "when"

I don't get what you're trying to tell me

dnt yearn for what u think u want too much, u might get it …

reevaluate your priorities in life

What should I prioritise? What should I do.

start with making your own decisions, not taking anyones advice however condescendin/humble/holy you might think someone is …..

Okay....actually I just need someone to talk to.

I'm still reading and thinking

Hang on yeah

Bottom line however, is don't give up

Take things one day at a time

It's not the end of the world, so keep yourself active, living your life as normally as you can

Other stuff, we talk later

Damn, who'dve thought, another Lenka fan

I thought I'm the only one in the world who has all her albums

This post has been edited by KLthinker91: Nov 7 2019, 10:38 AM

Hey thank you. Take your time to read it. Appreciate if you have any input.

Yeap am trying to pick myself up back now. Usually I'm better during day time.

I have a saying : night is when all the ghost come out. It's like all our regret often pop up during night time when all is quiet, to make us relive them again and again, right? But, it will pass with time. Trust me.

Hey man, how're you holding up?

Yeap true. Night time makes you think of all the negative things and when you wanna talk to someone, there's no one to talk to. At least day time I can just go to the coffeeshop to sit there alone and get surrounded by people. That's why I cant sleep at night. Sometimes bury myself with gaming but still...

Obviously not very well but I will try. It's just really hard for now cause I got a lot of negative thinking of myself.