It has been around 3 weeks since we broke up. We last spoke on the phone on last Thursday. When do you think I should give this letterr?

Whenever you are ready. Just write it. maybe attach with a gift? flower or nice clothes. Drop at the door.

How do I know I am ready? Like ready for what?

ready to send the letter........ you can send by your self or via postage/courier

I dont know if I can take the result if she dont reach out back...

Once you drop the letter to her, give her and *you* some time. if you force things, you are only adding stress onto it. Try, just try to give it some time & pray for the good things.

i dont know u but bro, pls know that i do support u.. whatever u do, think of ur loved ones.. just dont do stupid things ok?

Understand bro. Maybe I'll pass her the letter in another 2 weeks time. Should I give her a call after dropping the letter?

if you feel comfortable to call, make it short. less than 5 mins. make her look forward to your surprise all the best!

Today's lesson at work:
Itu masalah awak.

Hey thanks. Appreciate it.

Though the thoughts are there, I wont cause I know will bring more troubles and stress to her.

I know......

I mean call after she read the letter oh.

Well, this is kinda positive ... the fact that she wants to talk with you means things aren't that bad. If she is really upset with you, I guess she wouldn't want to even pick up your calls. In between, do both of you drop short whatsapp messages, forward stuff to one another, etc. ie keeping the communication channel open?

Do you know what's her love language? If yes, it'll be good to focus on those areas more ...

Actually I tried calling her on Sunday night but she did not pick up. Next morning she replied me "Saw your missed call. Anything?" But I did not reply. The reason I did not reply is that I know if I reply, I will be desperate for more communication with her. And I wanna give her the space and room to heal from everything that I have done. She did tell me if she meet me outside, she will not avoid me. I guess its actually hard for her to talk to me now because seeing me reminded her of the terrible things I have done. I dont know if I should keep the communication open as I am quite sure it will most likely be one way.

Her love language is quality time and words of affirmation.

so far from her side, seems like she is kinda ok now - definitely she won't forget but probably she has forgiven you enough to be civil with you and not totally give you the cold shoulder currently. Seems like now it's just your assumption from your side that she might not want to talk to you etc. when the signs are all showing otherwise ...

Ok, next question - conflict resolution. When both of you had conflicts or disagreement in the past, how did both of you handle and resolve it? Different people will have different ways to do it ...

my wife is the type that likes to talk openly and bring all out good and bad there and then when the issue happens, brings out all the past mistake ... I think many girls are like that ...

I'm not the like that though - when I'm in bad mood, I just don't want to talk ... I prefer to go away someplace quiet where I can calm down, collect my thoughts and come back to tackle the issue for another day, or just exercise and do some physical activities to take away all the stress ... which I think most men are like this

So which is her way of conflict resolution? Maybe all this while you are approaching this from your perspective, maybe she wanted to talk about it but not sure how you would handle it ...

The fact that her love language is quality time and words of affirmation - both requires you to communicate with her. And by keeping quiet and not talking to her, you are not engaging her love languages.

Give it shot - but please FIRST send her some flowers and write letters to her before you ask her if she is ready to talk about the issue.

You've got nothing to lose, the worst she could say is not ready and you just have to wait more ...

Judging from how sensitive she is to these little action, better to treat it like starting from scratch with some distance, slowly closing in.

Observe the progress... you'll know if she have the intention to give it a try, who knows she might learnt something from that and make some change adapting to your behavior?

after all, she sounds like she is willing to forgive u and make friend with you, let her prove it to you.

Thanks for your reply. Really appreciate it.

She's the kind that wanna talk about it yet will take her time to be quiet and cool down. We always manage to solve our quarrels on the day itself. Maybe not solve cause some of them are our differences we just can't help it but we manage to be happy on the same day and tolerate each other.

But like what you say of most girls, she actually remembers each quarrels and what is said whereas I can hardly remember the detail of each quarrel. But having said that, we don't have a lot of quarrels actually. Sometimes she can be very sensitive to certain issues and overthinks without telling me.

We actually talked about this incident in a very civil manner. I mean after crying and begging, we manage to have a talk about this. Basically she said let's build ourselves first and our relationship with God for now. Nobody know what will happen in the future. If it's God will we are meant to be together, then we are. From my side, I just wanna give her a few weeks maybe 2, to have her own space before trying to contact her again.

So you also suggest letters? What do you think should be the content.

This is what I thought so too. I also need to give myself time to not appear desperate into begging her to come back.

But the no contact period is like so damn hard.

Well, I'm in same situation wif u right now. I argue wif my wife. And I asked for a month break out. She went back to her parents house and it's been 2 week she didn't reply my msg at all. My birthday on 3/11 and we plan alot of things together and yet, during my birthday she just wish me happy birthday.

On 4/11. I went to her parents house and say sorry but my parents in law step in and said. I asked for a month break so be wif it. U know it's damn hurt. I just started new job last month and u know I'm having hard time to concentrate on wat I'm doing.

And now, my parents step in and wanted us to divorce. I'm desperate like crazy. I surprise her by sending her 28 petals of roses and write a letter which saying I'm sorry. And yet, no reply from her at all. It's just I'm damn hurt right now but.. I smile all the time.. Cause I dun wan people see I'm sad. But deep inside. I'm broken like crazy.