yeah ayam awake. on the carpper.

What carpper?

To TS, how about watch some TED talks in youtube. For starters, search for Dolph Lundgren Ted talks.

Ok I'm awake now.

crapper*
typo.

Thanks. I watched the one about forgiveness and healing.

2 nights not sleeping yet I'm not even sleepy

Anyone wanna talk?

Not sleeping is not going to help you depression or whatever

Time to find your comfort zone or whatever

I tried to sleep but I can't. I woke up feeling very anxious and worried....over nothing.

Then can't sleep anymore. Tried gaming and ended up here cause just wanna talk.

no

Typing this nao while sleeping

How you type this while sleeping haha

How old are you. I have read your problems and to be honest its not worth losing sleeping over those.

Mayb meet a psychiatrist or something to talk over the issue.

Since you are a religion guy, mayb go over a pastor of someone you are familiar with.

No point just keep praying here and there if you are not going to do anything over it.

I'm 31. You must be thinking why at the age still can't get over such thing. I think that myself too. Why you think not worth losing sleep over those?

Yeap I got talk to pastor and all. I am trying to move forward but right now, it's hard. It's not like I wish my sleeping pattern and appetite to get messed up. I also wanna be well.

I wish I could explain in an easier way. Read the story below...

“ I once chatted with a 36-year-old man on the Internet who asked if I would like to see his requirements for a mate and marriage. “Sure,‚” I typed. “Send them over.‚” His request was curious, but I was amused when I received his list for the perfect wife. His criteria for marriage were included in approximately eight e-mails with three to four attachments each. He’d also written an essay describing his perfect mate. She must be afraid of God, active in church, teach their children at home, be attractive, trim and of average height and weight, debt-free, never married, a virgin, she must never have had any venereal diseases and she must be able to give him “wild sex” whenever he asked. Most of all, she must be submissive like his pastor instructed him. Within minutes after reading his list, my “abusive man” detector started blinking wildly. But just to make sure that my suspicions were correct, I asked him a few questions. I discovered that he grew up in a home with an overbearing father who was a perfectionist and a competitive mother who threw things when she was angry and who “was not submissive enough.” He said his parents showed him love by teaching him how to succeed (or, in other words, to be perfect). The wild thing was that he saw nothing wrong with his requirements and even stated that he had once struggled with perfectionism, but had overcome it. I decided to run like the wind. Why? Because even though some of this man’s standards are godly, his rigid rules, with an inability to extend grace, signaled potential control and abuse. His list reminds me of something author Patricia Evans wrote. In The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Evans says that an abusive man(and woman) creates an ideal world that does not exist by forming an image of the perfect man/woman. But when his love interest shows flaws that reveal she is human, he becomes angry because she does not meet his expectations.” ———— sounds pretty much like you?

Now “Easy Exit Card”.. read again all of your statements above.. how many times you and your gf brought religion to justify things, set your expectations high, and forget that you are just a human. Look at How hard you’ve blamed yourself over and over again just for simple things. And the same standards that you put on yourself would be the standard that you forced on your closest one. I call it religious abuse / Easy Exit Card, in the name of God to justify whatever action, situation, and expectation you put on others. Sadly, You might learn the doctrine, go to church, set your expectations as high as the sky, but you have failed to understand the true meaning of a believer.. He’s a saviour for everybody who believes in Him, regardless... He’s the truly example of love, forgiveness, and life.. You don’t have to be a saint, be a human with humanity First.. fill your life with kindness, mercy and sympathy. Surender to your God instead of fight back... Accepting The flaws instead of complaining.. Just like How Your God sacrificed for you, although you are unworthy... As a religious person who believe in heaven after life, you already know that no matter how hard you pray, beg, read your bible etc etc.. it ain’t get you there.. You will get there by His Grace..

“For it is by grace you have been saved (Ephesians 2:8)”

It’s by Grace! For God Sake, If you have received His Grace, how could you forget to be graceful instead of forced your expectations on one another?

Easy Exit Card = Judgement = immaturity

Don’t use religion to justify your own behaviour, punishment, or pushed others down as if religion is an answer and exit card to every problems.

——————————————



And based on how you described both of you (you+your gf), it’s a relationship where both of you actually had a very low chances to grow. You guys might have faith, but you have a very small hope, and most importantly both of you left behind the love.


“And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13, NKJV)”.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (Cor 13:13)

After you read this.. think again.. do your gf really loves you? Do you really love your gf? Because all that I know, if both of you truly love each other’s, all the problems above would’ve never happened.

The truth is both of you never truly love each other, You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, she was good for your ego and you were good for hers. Or, maybe you made her feel better about her miserable life, but I doubt that she truly loves you and you truly loves her, because we don't give up to the person that we love.

My advice,

1. Be a positive person first. Find a psychologist to help you reshape the characters and dealing with your past, set yourself free.

2. Learn to Love yourself first before love others


Note :
#I’m not a holy Chr*st*an, I use my basic salvation knowledge because TS is very fond to his religion.
#I’m not persuade anyone into any specific religion.
#To other fanatic Chr*st*an members, don’t bother to attack me/persuade me/advice me regarding tarot, divination, and my faith in the universe. I’ve completed my theology, I’m not interested in debate and arguments.
#All religion essentially Good, it’s the human who often taking advantage in the name of religion.

Holy Cow!!! What the heck I just wrote?! Ok TS, good luck to you.. I better back to finalise my tarot reading. Bye 👋

Erm no. I did not abuse her because she show flaws.

But I did not use religion to justify my actions? What I did was wrong with or without involving religion. I own up to my own mistake. I blamed myself over and over again, yes. I get your point that I have to surrender and move forward from my mistake because God has already extend His grace for me but its really a case of easier said than done.

I know its ironic. To say I love her and having did such mistake. I feel like you assume a lot of things on your own. You cant just assume and say I got together with her because I did not want to be alone. She was good for my ego and all.

Love yourself first before you love others might be the thing everyone knows and yet cannot achieve it. But yeah, sorting out my issues through religion. Though some part I disagree, thanks for sharing.

It’s not only about you (religiously)abuse her lehhh, I give you an example already lah, it works both ways... she’s also abuse you.. regretting kissing, and bla bla bla in the name of religion to make you feel bad.. or whatsoever.. read again my reply tonight, when you are calm and sound..

It’s not an assumption, it’s the truth.. you are just afraid to be alone.. she’s good for your ego and you are good for her ego..
If she’s truly love you, she won’t give up on you, and you wouldn’t hurt her or take any advantage of her. A pure love, left no regrets... If you are truly loves her, you will be happy to see her happy, love is giving, without any expectation to get it back.

By the way, yesterday I open my cards, and your Cards is The Devil + The tower + The Lover. And it’s an unhealthy relationship in whatever means. Please seek professional help.. Life is just too beautiful, don’t miss it just because you can’t handle your dirty laundry properly.

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Beware.! ....... Tarot-card readers and other false prophets of Satan/demons are an abomination to God, as per DEUTERONOMY.18:9-14. They include sorcerers/bomohs, witches, black magicians, mediums of the dead, fortune-tellers, psychics, horoscope, palm-readers, ouija-boards, etc.
....... For the guide to holy living(= will be blessed by God with a good and long life on earth} and the straight/narrow way to the kingdom of heaven, Christians are to only consult the Bible/Word of God as recorded by His prophets/apostles, pastors, teachers and fellow Christians.
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P S - The Lord/God Jesus Christ exorcised many demon-possessed Jews who were crazy(madness, schizophrenia, etc), epileptic, etc. How do you think they got demon-possessed.? For breaking which law of God.?

I have seen with my own eyes, a demon-possessed/schizophreniac lady who had consulted a bomoh to get rid of the mistress of her rich husband. Ended up with her husband going bankrupt and she going crazy. You never know when the demon would come to possess her.
....... Another guy used bomoh chanting and scent-smoke powers to mesmerize pretty girls into bed = he ended up crazy/schizophreniac as well.
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This post has been edited by lurkingaround: Nov 6 2019, 03:42 PM