QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019, 03:21 AM)
I grew up in a strict family. My dad was a disciplinarian. Typical Asian dad who put a lot of emphasis on my studies. Whenever my grades were bad, I was caned and hit. I would not said that he physically abuse me but yeah, this was his way of making sure I excel in my studies. He was really this strict to me and my sister. It was harsh love growing up. My dad was uneducated so he wanted us not to follow him. I knew he did all these because he love us but its just the way he did all this was harsh. I learnt all the curse words from him which says a lot. However, my dad provided well for the family in term of resources. We were never financially lacking and he gave us the best that he could.
Coping with the death of a loved one is not easy. I was not exactly close to my grandpa but I cried when he passed too.
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019, 03:21 AM)
So basically, my relationship with my family was non-existence. Things have gotten better with my mom but it was never like how it used to be. While we go for dinner together once in a while, I stop telling her my problems. As for my sister, she is living in another city and she has her own life so I won't want to bother her with my problems.
Your mom is perhaps the only family member who cares about you right now. Yes, people make mistakes but it doesn't mean they don't deserve a second chance.
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019, 03:21 AM)
So I became a serious Christian after my break up in my 2nd relationship. It was a 4 years relationship that crushed me and I had to rely on God that time. It was in the church I met her. She is a very God fearing girl and grew up in a Christian family. She is everything that I am not. The youngest in the family, she is disciplined, her family is soft and gentle. However, one thing similar is that she lost her dad when she was young too. Because of this, she grew up having low self esteem and lack of a father figure in her life. As you can see, we are two individuals with a lot of issues growing up.
Hmm. I'm not sure whether you became a better Christian just to impress her or you're your heart is with God. But anyway, if you were dating a Christian girl especially one who takes her faith seriously (growing up in a Christian family), you should know pre-marital sex is already out of the question. I don't know how old are you but usually Christians date if they are ready for marriage.
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019, 03:21 AM)
There was this other girl. She was a work acquaintance from a competitor company. We were friends and she was divorced. Initially I tried to talk to her to help her get through her divorce. This was way before I got into this relationship. I had empathy for people going through such heart break because I knew what it felt. So after that, we kinda texted each other every now and then talking about work and what not. It wasn't frequent, probably once every month or so. I had no feelings for her but in September, she got bold suddenly. She started sending me photos of her in beach wear. September was a very low period for me because I quit my job over stress, my dog pass away and I had to go for a surgery over my knee. I know I had no excuse for doing what I did. But I did it. Maybe I was desperate for sexual gratification. I said things that I should not be saying to another girl in exchange for more photos. It happened over a week and I cut it off. There were not nudes or nothing physical involved. I thought it was harmless because it was pleasure to my eyes and I would never do anything more than that. This girl is staying in a different city.
Whoa there... You do know that it's a sin to marry a divorcee right? Hooking up with one even leading to marriage is a no-no unless her divorce was because her spouse cheated.
I hope you are not just Christian just to date the first girl.
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019, 03:21 AM)
My ex found out when she stayed over with me in the hospital. She could not accept this betrayal. I admitted and took 100% responsibility that it was my mistake. I fell into a temptation that I should not have. I was weak and I lost my self control. I pleaded my case and asked her to extend grace to me and give me another chance but she told me this was too much to take. I shattered her trust and destroyed her self esteem. Of course when she doesnt trust me, everything sounded like a lie. I told her if she needs to believe one thing, please believe me when I said it was not her problem. It was mine. I dont want her to think that she did not do enough in this relationship and her shortfall caused me to do whatever I did.
I have heard of a Christian girl who was about to get married and suddenly her fiancee cheated.
You really need to ask yourself why do you want to get into a relationship. Also, what is your purpose of marriage?
If it's just to satisfy your lust, you should think again. Also, do think properly whether you want to take the faith seriously or not before marrying a Christian girl because most of them have high expectations of what they want in a 'Godly' man. Mismatch in levels of faith can also lead to divorce.
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019, 03:21 AM)
You know I always wanted my own family because I thought I havent had a good childhood growing up. Family was almost non existant for me. My dream was to have my own family and I would give my children whatever I was lacking off. Ironically, I ruined my own dream and cost us both our future together. I dont know how will I ever forgive myself. She told me she doesn't hate me and she forgive me for what I did. She just cannot stay around in this relationship anymore. Each time I felt depressed and broken, I reminded myself she is probably having it worse than me. Very often I asked God why the punishment for my sin comes with such a big price to pay. But I am totally aware that I made a huge mistake in life and I just have to carry this consequences with me.
God doesn't punish people for sins. What really happened was just a consequences of your actions. Think with your head not your ....
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019, 03:21 AM)
So this is basically my story.
Everyone makes mistakes. "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," -Romans 3:23
However, the good news is the door is always open as long as we choose to turn away from sin.
If I were you, I will cut contact with the second girl and use the time to fix myself before getting into a relationship.
Last word of advice for you is to get a good health insurance with high coverage because you have a possibility of falling ill due to hereditary diseases.
Please listen to this advice because it's important. You don't want to be broke and have cancer at the same time.
Get well TS! Hope to hear some updates in future. If you really need someone to talk to just drop me a message.
Nov 6 2019, 11:31 PM
Anyone still awake? 
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