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TSprelude23
post Dec 5 2019, 11:03 PM

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QUOTE(Snoopycute98 @ Dec 4 2019, 03:15 PM)
Nervous, but ok ba, lecturer says not bad.  biggrin.gif

Now doing project, a bit stress.

How u feeling today?
*
Glad to hear that youre doing alright. So you study Japanese now? For future purposes or just for fun?
TSprelude23
post Dec 5 2019, 11:04 PM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Dec 4 2019, 03:48 PM)
That is quite a dream. Do you still wake up in the middle of night regularly due to anxiety?
*
Sometimes yeah but improved a lot as compared to a month ago. Can see myself making some progress.

Thank you for being supportive.
Snoopycute98
post Dec 6 2019, 01:01 AM

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QUOTE(prelude23 @ Dec 5 2019, 11:03 PM)
Glad to hear that youre doing alright. So you study Japanese now? For future purposes or just for fun?
*
Its my elective course, studied just for learning Japanese a bit but found it quite hard even though its just level 1
my main course is Software Engineering

someone_stupid
post Dec 6 2019, 01:10 AM

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Astro really don’t have have anything really interesting to watch nowadays
TSprelude23
post Dec 6 2019, 01:21 AM

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QUOTE(someone_stupid @ Dec 6 2019, 01:10 AM)
Astro really don’t  have have anything really interesting to watch nowadays
*
Yeah unsubscribe astro already. Too expensive and only use it to watch EPL
TSprelude23
post Dec 6 2019, 01:22 AM

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QUOTE(Snoopycute98 @ Dec 6 2019, 01:01 AM)
Its my elective course, studied just for learning Japanese a bit but found it quite hard even though its just level 1
my main course is Software Engineering
*
Oh wow thats cool. You're not studying in Malaysia, are you?
incubus69
post Dec 6 2019, 01:28 AM

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glad to know that you are getting better day by day.
hope soon everything will be on your side. cheers mate
someone_stupid
post Dec 6 2019, 01:35 AM

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QUOTE(prelude23 @ Dec 6 2019, 01:21 AM)
Yeah unsubscribe astro already. Too expensive and only use it to watch EPL
*
Yea I tot can find something to watch to take my mind of things but the lack of anything interesting is making things worse
TSprelude23
post Dec 6 2019, 02:45 AM

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QUOTE(incubus69 @ Dec 6 2019, 01:28 AM)
glad to know that you are getting better day by day.
hope soon everything will be on your side. cheers mate
*
Hey thanks bro. Need to pick myself up before I can fight for her again. Need to show her the repentance and the improvement right?
TSprelude23
post Dec 6 2019, 03:43 AM

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QUOTE(someone_stupid @ Dec 6 2019, 01:35 AM)
Yea I tot can find something to watch to take my mind of things but the lack of anything interesting is making things worse
*
Nowadays just try to stream online or youtube only.
TSprelude23
post Dec 6 2019, 03:43 AM

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QUOTE(someone_stupid @ Dec 6 2019, 01:35 AM)
Yea I tot can find something to watch to take my mind of things but the lack of anything interesting is making things worse
*
Nowadays just try to stream online or youtube only.
kamfoo
post Dec 6 2019, 04:05 AM

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Go fap
noien
post Dec 6 2019, 04:32 AM

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QUOTE(someone_stupid @ Dec 6 2019, 01:35 AM)
Yea I tot can find something to watch to take my mind of things but the lack of anything interesting is making things worse
*
netflix still here
TSprelude23
post Dec 17 2019, 07:46 PM

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It has been 3 months since I screwed up and she left me. It was not an easy 3 months but I'm probably healing bit by bit. Big shout out to a lot of you here encouraging me on. I don't cry that often anymore and I have been able to fall asleep at times. I'm still keeping myself in isolation from my friends and family because I don't want people to ask and find out I'm a failure. The pain might have subsided and my anxiety has improved. But there's no a single day where I struggled between standing back up to fight or just lying there thinking how I failed so badly and I don't deserve anything.

I think about her everyday wondering what is she doing. Has she forgiven me and can she talk to me. Church is the only place where I can find true comfort but I'm too embarrass to walk up to people and tell them what I've been going through.

On the good day I tell myself this is the consequences of my action and I just have to man up, repent and make improvement in life to prove to her the mistake doesn't define me.

On a bad day, I just think if ending myself is the only way to show I'm really sorry.

But first 3 months has passed, so lets try another 3 months.
V429
post Dec 17 2019, 08:10 PM

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Hey, that's an improvement. Good to hear smile.gif

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