Thank you. I'm trying to move forward.

Yeah called them too but no one pick up.

Take care bro....

Understand your problem and your mistake does not define you.

The thing you are going through are temporary and will come to pass

This really means a lot.

I kept telling her too this mistake does not define who am I. But yeah, no use.

Join me Forex gambling. This will either release or add stress to you.

No money to gamble

drink moar kopi o kaw kaw

Yeah totally din sleep last night and now I'm in office. Gonna go have my kopi later and hopefully can take a nap.

Hi ts, may I ask if u speak Chinese. ( I’m not referring to ur race. Stay Anon. ) If u can u can dial up a radio show and chat up the DJ. He’s a quite a good counselor. Let me know n I’ll give u the link here?

Yeap I can.

Dial up to the radio show and talk to him? Does this means the conversation will be broadcasted?

Thanks for your kind thought.

This post has been edited by prelude23: Nov 5 2019, 09:54 AM

Learn how to do game. Approach more girls. Confident booster.

Yup will be broadcasted. But if u got really dark secrets, u can also request 2 him x 2 broadcast ur voice live, that he just listen to you on the phone. That way, the audience only gets half the conversation , his replies , well sorta... He has got quite a lot of YouTube podcasts as well, check those out and learn from others cases while waiting for your turn. His Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/988.Matter/videos/...?type=2&theater

I really dont think I have the courage to go on air with my story.

Dear TS, I’ve read your story.. I must admit, this separation is good for both of you. Both of you are not ready for relationship. You two have to fix you mental and character first before jump into serious relationship. Otherwise you two are gonna hurting each other all the time and end up divorce later. Your father being strict is not an excuse, it takes wisdom to grow up and be a man. 1 more problem that I can spot, religion, be really careful with this card. It’s good to be religious, BUT, do not use your religion as your “easy exit card.” A good person doesn’t count by how many times you read your holy book or how many times you go and pray. A good person is the one who can love and be kind to other as he does to himself. If you couldn’t be kind and love yourself, there’s no point try to love other.

TS, not sure whether the following advice will be helpful or not, but just to let you know that there are people who are still care of you.

The main issue on your depression, from the basic story, you are putting all the negative parts of your life to justify as reason why you are so down now. It would be good if you can mental break these up into parts, suggest below;

1) Dad & family issues - Those are already history & whatever happens, you will learn that in future once you have a family, you will know how to manage, which is right & wrong. Past is already past & move on. Your mum issue is also the same. Those that have pass, you must learn to let go. Mistake has been done (by others, not you) & live with it. Since you are now provided your ownself, it is possible you will raise up again, just need patience & never give up attitude.

2) Girlfriend & possible flings issue. Feel your ex is too much. She is requesting too much something that not much men can do/pursue when in relationship. Maybe she forgot that all men (& women) are sinners which bound to make mistake. The way she want you to be is unrealistic. Surely during the relationship, you are not yourself & sacrificing in order to satisfy her expectation. This is already a problem in your existing relationship. If this continues, how long you can think you can stand such high standard? Surely 1 day, you will be depress in a long run. She is selfish, man. On the possible flings, she just send you the pictures & flirting. You are not yet married with your ex, so there is still chances to know better girls/options. So no wrong done here.

By reading, feel she will never forgive you & if you still pursue for her acceptance, it will be a long winding road. This, also doesn't mean in the end she will accept. So, you have to ask yourself, do you still want to get back to her & lead back the same lifestyle & entertain her demands same as before?? Suggestion - DUMP HER!!!

3) Working life. It is normal to switch jobs when you are not earning well/feel unappreciated/ better offers outside. As means of surviving, do the jobs that sufficient to provide you on your living. If the current jobs will be help on your career progression, that is a bonus. No rush. Sometimes we need to work just to keep our heads above water.

4) Social circle. Meet up with more people & know more friends, will help to alter your depression issues. Usually when you feel more fortunate compared to those even less fortunate than you. If you want to try, try search & watch youtube on Bersamamu as a start....When you have such feeling, you will feel blessed more. Participate in religion activities & doing public service also provides the same feeling.

All the best there bro!!!!

This post has been edited by kbhai: Nov 5 2019, 02:57 PM

Family background is not an excuse for me to do all the mistakes I did. But rather a reason for me to display whatever behaviour I did, which I realise 100% was my fault.

Can you elaborate what do you mean by 'easy exit card'?

It's really hard to love and be kind to myself after I had done such a big mistake. Hopefully, I am able to do so as time goes by.

Understand the part with family issues is what done is done. I just have to move on without bringing my past along with me. It's just something I seriously feel lacking off now. Like I'm feeling depress and there's no family members to turn to. I have to come here for comfort.

Flirting in relationship is so wrong bro. What more got photos involved. Which part do you think she is unrealistic? Saying no to pre-marital sex?

I know she has set a very high standard for me. Sometimes, I also feel like are you seeing me as your father figure or partner? But then, this is not a breaking point for me as I choose to see her good side.

Working life is okay for me. I quit my high paying job because of stress. Stress because it has compromise my integrity. I have my own business now which I set up before I resign as back up. Doing okay, generating way less income then my previous job but still okay to survive with potential to grow. Luckily my business partner is understanding so currently I'm taking my time off.

Right now, maybe still not in the right mind to meet new people. I join cell group, church events and all but no motivation to make any sort of connection with others. At least for the time being.

Appreciate you sharing so much of your thoughts. Reading and thinking what to reply have already cleared up a lot of my self defeating thoughts.

I wish you all the luck in the world bro. Hope you gf accepts you for who you are. Genuine guys are limited thus you're a limited edition..

"So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. " - John 8:7

Nobody's gonna condemn you.

In times of testing, we need to dig deep. Circumstances are testing grounds. You screwed up royally, so let this incident be a future reminder.

God has set very high standards for His people. I'm also a red-blooded male, so i understand this.

"so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." - 1 Peter 1:7

Trust that the ACL is healing well too


Shalom


Here, chill . . . .

I'm curious why would you think I'mm genuine? Thanks for the well wishes.

Feels like I failed the test miserably bro. Fell into the temptation.

Yeah I understand on the future reminder. Cannot give into our desire so freely.

ACL is recovering well but the least of my concern now.

Thank you.