Some jokes I've got from forward email ..., Maybe you've read before
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 Jun 19 2005, 11:42 PM
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Senior Member
3,500 posts Joined: Jan 2003  
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QUOTE(Aoshi_88 @ Jun 17 2005, 05:01 PM) Huh?? i cannot understand lorr.  QUOTE(DaIdiot @ Jun 17 2005, 08:14 PM) i dont understand as well... they X each other while the gal was buried... |
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Jun 20 2005, 02:15 PM
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Senior Member
4,670 posts Joined: Dec 2004
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I think i get it now.
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Jun 20 2005, 03:23 PM
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Senior Member
1,411 posts Joined: Feb 2005 
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^ hahaa finaly
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Jun 20 2005, 07:37 PM
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Senior Member
856 posts Joined: Feb 2005 
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QUOTE(StarGhazzer @ Jun 17 2005, 04:26 PM) The last one was great correct me if i'm wrong but did the 6 hunks 'played' each other when the gal was died? speaking of blondes, here's one i heard long ago Once upon a time, there was an aeroplane carrying 6 hunks and a blonde. Their plane crashed in the middle of the ocean but fortunately they all swam to a deserted island... One week after stranded on the island, the blonde commited suicide. Before she died, she looked up into heaven and confessed to God :" Oh forgive me god, for the past week, i did something terrible and despicable...." One week later, the 6 hunks buried the blonde. Before they covered her with mud, they looked up into heaven, and confessed to god : "Oh forgive us god, for the past week, we did something terrible and despicable...." Another week went by, and this time the hunks went and dug up the blonde's corpse... Before they lifted her up from the ground, they looked up into heaven, and confessed to god : "Oh forgive us god, for the past week, we did something terrible and despicable...." THE END....  |
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Jun 20 2005, 09:43 PM
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Senior Member
710 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: In the backyard. Up to no good!
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that is left for u to decide.
hahaha but the joke was funny.... |
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Jun 25 2005, 03:21 PM
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Senior Member
5,355 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: Cera
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QUOTE(one.good.guy @ Jun 20 2005, 07:37 PM) correct me if i'm wrong but did the 6 hunks 'played' each other when the gal was died? well it's up to u to think what did they do on the island, but in case of spoiling the joke, i'll post it in white... but after reading it it wont be that funnyinitially the girl 'played' with all the guys, orgy... then when she died, they didnt bury her, and kept on fooling with the dead body one week later, they buried her and played among themselves This post has been edited by StarGhazzer: Jun 25 2005, 03:21 PM |
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Jun 26 2005, 02:47 AM
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Validating
5,444 posts Joined: Jan 2003
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Two things in the joke: Homosexuality and Necrophilia
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Jun 26 2005, 02:52 AM
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Newbie
4 posts Joined: Oct 2004
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" Keyboard was not detected. Press F3 to resume. "
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Jun 30 2005, 01:46 AM
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Junior Member
253 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: Somewhere in da earth
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What is our IC used for?
What's good about the Malaysian IC? It's an important document... So... I've think about it and came up with a small list of scenarios... Scene 1... Police: Tunjuk IC! Citizen: (Shows IC to Police) Scene 2... Citizen1: (Shows IC to a friend) Citizen2: Oh... I see i see... Scene 3... Citizen1: My IC got CHIP AH!!! You SEE!!! (Shows IC) Citizen2: I Also got WAT! (Shows IC) Scene 4... Nerd1: You know ah? that your IC got picture that you can see under UV light? Nerd2: Realli ah? let's try!(Puts IC under UV light...) Nerd1: You seeeee? I told you one wat! Scene 5... American: What's this chip on your IC for? Malaysian: I dunno.... RM10 leh! Scene 6... Australian: What's this chip mate? Malaysian: Chip mate? You mean chipsmore ah? Scene 7... Malaysian: Wah! Our IC got smart chip you know ah? You got or not? (Shows IC) British: Wow! What's it for? Malaysian: Dunno... *shrugs* Scene 8... Nerd1: (Shows IC to American guy) You seee! Our IC got smart chip you know! American: Cool! So what's it for? Nerd1: It can do this ah, Special teknologi for police to be more efficient and can speed up alot of paper work around gahmen offices ah! Summore it's better security and can store your medical records ah! American: Woah! Totally Cool! Can you show me some examples? Nerd1: Actually ah.. I dunno where got use it also.... Scene 9... Citizen1: Alamak! wallet Hilang! My IC is Gone! Citizen2: Nebermind lah... Very fast one do IC... No need to verify your Thumbprint also one.. just make new one lah... And Finally... Scene 10... TV Screen: The new IC with the smart card is almost impossible to clone.. (Camera Zooms out from the TV onto a busy street) Guy in black suit: MALI MALI! BELI IC!!! MALI MALI!!! IC IC.. Undercover Police: Oi... You! berapa? Guy in black suit: RM100 for card only. RM500 for special entry into database.. Undercover Police: Ohhh.. So you rich ah? (Shows Badge) Guy in black suit: Soli sir... berapa? Undercover Police: I didn't see anything today, RM100. No such things as Clone IC, RM500... |
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Jul 1 2005, 05:01 PM
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VIP
2,496 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: LowYatDotNet Status:Agast
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How To Clean Your Toilet - The Fun Way
Instructions on how to clean your toilet 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.  4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse". 6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. 9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. Sincerely, The Dog  |
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Jul 1 2005, 06:09 PM
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Senior Member
4,670 posts Joined: Dec 2004
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Mwahahahahaha....funny. Someone is biased against cats. i must send in my special feline squad.
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Jul 3 2005, 07:40 PM
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Junior Member
25 posts Joined: Jun 2005 From: Inside you
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A UM graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He
finally accepted the offer to work with Taiping Zoo. "What to do, it's better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to himself. So since that day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He has to climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors. The zoo has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in visitors. Even Mahathir wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world. Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees, he fell down into a crocodile pool! "Oh my God...I'm dying...now" he thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his direction. In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from UKM".  |
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Jul 3 2005, 10:25 PM
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Senior Member
1,957 posts Joined: Jan 2003
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QUOTE(Zalan Zalfrecko @ Jul 3 2005, 07:40 PM) A UM graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He finally accepted the offer to work with Taiping Zoo. "What to do, it's better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to himself. So since that day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He has to climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors. The zoo has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in visitors. Even Mahathir wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world. Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees, he fell down into a crocodile pool! "Oh my God...I'm dying...now" he thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his direction. In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from UKM". good one |
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Jul 4 2005, 06:12 PM
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Senior Member
1,411 posts Joined: Feb 2005
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no doubt this is really funny man
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Jul 5 2005, 01:51 AM
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Junior Member
25 posts Joined: Jun 2005 From: Inside you
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yeah...stabbed me right in my chest when i read the joke..
 This post has been edited by Zalan Zalfrecko: Jul 5 2005, 01:51 AM |
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Jul 7 2005, 04:24 PM
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Senior Member
585 posts Joined: Jan 2005 From: JB
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QUOTE(Zalan Zalfrecko @ Jul 3 2005, 07:40 PM) A UM graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He hahaha, funny funnyfinally accepted the offer to work with Taiping Zoo. "What to do, it's better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to himself. So since that day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He has to climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors. The zoo has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in visitors. Even Mahathir wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world. Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees, he fell down into a crocodile pool! "Oh my God...I'm dying...now" he thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his direction. In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from UKM". |
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Jul 8 2005, 09:06 AM
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Junior Member
260 posts Joined: May 2005 From: kepong-kj-cheras-jb 
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Kedai Roti
Akob begitu asyik menonton perlawanan bolasepak di depan kaca TV, tiba-tiba isterinya terus masuk, "Bang, lampu di halaman depan dah terbakar tolong ganti yang baru ye". "Pasang lampu?!!, kamu ingat saya nie TNB ke?" jawab Akob. "Kalau abang tak mau tukar lampu, abang tolong betulkan paip air sebab airnya dah tak boleh keluar", minta isteri Akob lagi. "Betulakan paip?, kamu ingat saya nie Jabatan Bekalan Air ke?", jawab Akob mengelak. "Kalau semuanya abang tak mau buat tak apalah, tapi kalau abang ke kedai nanti jangan lupa tolong belikan saya gas memasak sebab rumah kita dah kehabisan gas", kata isteri Akob. "Mintak maap bebanyak saya tak kerja kat Petronas", jawab Akob dengan sinis. Kerana merasa terganggu Akob terus keluar ke rumah kawannya untuk menyambung menonton perlawanan bolasepak. Kira-kira jam 2 pagi kemudian Akob pun pulang kerumah. Akob menjadi hairan apabila mendapati lampu di halaman terang benderang, Akob terus ke bilik air, dia sekali lagi terkejut apabila mendapati paip air tak ada masalah lagi. Apabila ia ke dapur Akob mendapati tong gas juga penuh. Pada keesokan paginya Akob bertanya pada isterinya "Awak minta tolong pada siapa...?". "Begini bang, setelah abang keluar dari rumah semalam, saya menangis di halaman rumah. Tiba-tiba ada seorang lelaki yang sedang melintas di depan rumah kita, bertanya kenapa saya menangis. Saya ceritakan segala-galanya kepadanya. Dengan rela hati dia sedia menolong saya tetapi dengan bersyarat". "Apa syaratnya?", tanya Akob ingin tahu. "Syaratnya saya perlu pilih sama ada buatkan ia roti atau tidur dengannya". " Jadi awak buat roti apa untuk dia?", tanya Akob. "Buat roti...?!!! Awak pikir saya nie Kedai Roti ke...?!!!" dunno if u have read this before.. |
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Jul 11 2005, 08:57 PM
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Junior Member
364 posts Joined: Dec 2004 From: Ampang
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QUOTE(bob 3003 @ Jul 8 2005, 09:06 AM) Kedai Roti hahahaha...i guess his wife sleep wit the 'kind' man Akob begitu asyik menonton perlawanan bolasepak di depan kaca TV, tiba-tiba isterinya terus masuk, "Bang, lampu di halaman depan dah terbakar tolong ganti yang baru ye". "Pasang lampu?!!, kamu ingat saya nie TNB ke?" jawab Akob. "Kalau abang tak mau tukar lampu, abang tolong betulkan paip air sebab airnya dah tak boleh keluar", minta isteri Akob lagi. "Betulakan paip?, kamu ingat saya nie Jabatan Bekalan Air ke?", jawab Akob mengelak. "Kalau semuanya abang tak mau buat tak apalah, tapi kalau abang ke kedai nanti jangan lupa tolong belikan saya gas memasak sebab rumah kita dah kehabisan gas", kata isteri Akob. "Mintak maap bebanyak saya tak kerja kat Petronas", jawab Akob dengan sinis. Kerana merasa terganggu Akob terus keluar ke rumah kawannya untuk menyambung menonton perlawanan bolasepak. Kira-kira jam 2 pagi kemudian Akob pun pulang kerumah. Akob menjadi hairan apabila mendapati lampu di halaman terang benderang, Akob terus ke bilik air, dia sekali lagi terkejut apabila mendapati paip air tak ada masalah lagi. Apabila ia ke dapur Akob mendapati tong gas juga penuh. Pada keesokan paginya Akob bertanya pada isterinya "Awak minta tolong pada siapa...?". "Begini bang, setelah abang keluar dari rumah semalam, saya menangis di halaman rumah. Tiba-tiba ada seorang lelaki yang sedang melintas di depan rumah kita, bertanya kenapa saya menangis. Saya ceritakan segala-galanya kepadanya. Dengan rela hati dia sedia menolong saya tetapi dengan bersyarat". "Apa syaratnya?", tanya Akob ingin tahu. "Syaratnya saya perlu pilih sama ada buatkan ia roti atau tidur dengannya". " Jadi awak buat roti apa untuk dia?", tanya Akob. "Buat roti...?!!! Awak pikir saya nie Kedai Roti ke...?!!!" dunno if u have read this before.. |
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Jul 11 2005, 09:31 PM
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Senior Member
6,364 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: Soviet Sarawak 
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QUOTE(bob 3003 @ Jul 8 2005, 09:06 AM) Kedai Roti LOL! Akob begitu asyik menonton perlawanan bolasepak di depan kaca TV, tiba-tiba isterinya terus masuk, "Bang, lampu di halaman depan dah terbakar tolong ganti yang baru ye". "Pasang lampu?!!, kamu ingat saya nie TNB ke?" jawab Akob. "Kalau abang tak mau tukar lampu, abang tolong betulkan paip air sebab airnya dah tak boleh keluar", minta isteri Akob lagi. "Betulakan paip?, kamu ingat saya nie Jabatan Bekalan Air ke?", jawab Akob mengelak. "Kalau semuanya abang tak mau buat tak apalah, tapi kalau abang ke kedai nanti jangan lupa tolong belikan saya gas memasak sebab rumah kita dah kehabisan gas", kata isteri Akob. "Mintak maap bebanyak saya tak kerja kat Petronas", jawab Akob dengan sinis. Kerana merasa terganggu Akob terus keluar ke rumah kawannya untuk menyambung menonton perlawanan bolasepak. Kira-kira jam 2 pagi kemudian Akob pun pulang kerumah. Akob menjadi hairan apabila mendapati lampu di halaman terang benderang, Akob terus ke bilik air, dia sekali lagi terkejut apabila mendapati paip air tak ada masalah lagi. Apabila ia ke dapur Akob mendapati tong gas juga penuh. Pada keesokan paginya Akob bertanya pada isterinya "Awak minta tolong pada siapa...?". "Begini bang, setelah abang keluar dari rumah semalam, saya menangis di halaman rumah. Tiba-tiba ada seorang lelaki yang sedang melintas di depan rumah kita, bertanya kenapa saya menangis. Saya ceritakan segala-galanya kepadanya. Dengan rela hati dia sedia menolong saya tetapi dengan bersyarat". "Apa syaratnya?", tanya Akob ingin tahu. "Syaratnya saya perlu pilih sama ada buatkan ia roti atau tidur dengannya". " Jadi awak buat roti apa untuk dia?", tanya Akob. "Buat roti...?!!! Awak pikir saya nie Kedai Roti ke...?!!!" dunno if u have read this before.. husband gets owned! |
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 Jul 16 2005, 12:27 PM
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Junior Member
105 posts Joined: Jun 2005 From: Mertajam Highland, Penang
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a picture can tell a thousand words... so....
let me introduce to all of u ... a RM399 camera phone...  Attached thumbnail(s) 
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