LoL!!:lol: I love the F4 one!!

Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of
her first-grade pupils.
"Johnny, what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first
Grade.
My sister is in third grade and I'm
smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had had enough, so she took
Johnny to the principal's office. The principal
agreed that he would give the boy a test and if
he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the first-grade and behave.
He started by asking Johhny some simple
arithmetic.
"What is three times three?"
"Nine, Sir."
"How much is nine times six?"
"Fifty-four."
And so it went with every question the
principal thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looked at Ms Brooks and
said, "I think Johnny can go to third grade! He
seems smart enough."
Ms Brooks said to the principal, "Let me
ask him some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agreed.
Ms Brooks asked, "What does a cow have
four of that I have only two of?
Johnny, after a moment, answered "Legs, Ma'am"
"What is in your pants that you have but
I do not have?"
"Pockets!"
"OK, what does a dog do that a man steps into?"
"Pants."
"What starts with a C and ends with a T,
is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin
whitish liquid?"
"Coconut."
"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft
and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide
and before he could stop the answer, Johnny was
taking charge.
"Bubblegum!"
"What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
"Shake hands, Ma'am."
"Now for some "Who am I" sort of
questions, OK?
First one. You stick your poles inside me, you
tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before
you do."
Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent!"
"OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle
with me when you're bored. The best man always
has me first."
The Principal was looking restless and a
bit tense.
But Johnny was on the ball with "Wedding
Ring!"
"I come in many sizes. When I'm not
well, I drip.
When you blow me, you feel good."
"Nose."
"Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip
penetrates, and I come with a quiver."
"Arrow."
"Good, now for the last one. What word
starts with an 'F', ends in K', and means a lot
of heat and excitement?"
Firetruck, Ma'am!"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief
and said to the teacher, "Send him to
university, I got the
last ten questions wrong myself!!"

Erk! *dead*

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"

GHETTO VOCABULARY

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence

1. HOTEL- I gave my girlfriend crabs and da ho tel everybody.

2. DICTATE- My girlfriend say my dictate good.

3. CATACOMB- I saw Don King at da fight da other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.

4. FORECLOSE- If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.

5. RECTUM- I had two Cadillac's, but my b**** rectum both.

6. DISAPPOINTMENT- My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to da joint.

7. PENIS- I went to da doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.

8. ISRAEL- Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He say, "Bullshit, that watch israel".

9 UNDERMINE- There's a fine lookin' ho living in da apartment undermine.

10.ACOUSTIC- When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to da poolhall.

11.IRAQ- When we got to da poolhall, I tol' my uncle iraq, you break.

12.STAIN- My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan on stain for dinner?"

13.FORTIFY- I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" she say "fortify."

14.INCOME- I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.

Furthering your education with Today's Ebonic word:

Today's word is: OMELETTE. Let us use it in a sentence.

"I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."

This post has been edited by Sheep319: Aug 4 2004, 01:11 AM

Seorang pemuda hensem yang separuh mabuk,
berjemur dipantai tanpa pakaian menutup
tubuhnya. Ketika itu dia melihat seorang anak
gadis kecil lebih kurang berumur 7 thn berjalan
melintasinya. Dengan pantas dia menutup
bahagian tubuhnya yang tertentu dengan buku
yang dibacanya.

Kerana hairan anak gadis kecil itu
berkata. "Abang, apa abang tutup dengan buku
tu?" tanya anak gadis kecil sambil menunjuk ke
arah buku.
Kerana malu, pemuda itu menjawab. "Ah.. tidak
ada apa-apa. Ini hanya seekor burung pipit!"

"Seekor burung pipit?" tanya gadis itu
kebingungan.

"Betul, hanya seekor burung pipit.." jawab
pemuda itu dengan lebih tegas.

Setelah sikecil tu pergi berlalu, si pemuda
kembali membaca buku sambil meneguk
minuman kerasnya. Tak lama kemudian, si
pemuda tertidur. Ketika terbangun, dia berada di
hospital dan merasa sakit yang amat sangat.

Seorang polis menanyainya. "Apa yang terjadi?"

"Saya tidak tahu. Saya sedang berjemur di
pantai, lalu ada gadis kecil bertanya sebantar dan
tidak lama setelah dia pergi saya tertidur dan kini
tiba-tiba berada di sini."

Polis itu pergi ke pantai mencari gadis kecil dan
bertanya, "Apa yang kamu lakukan terhadap
lelaki yang sedang berjemur itu tadi?"

Si gadis kecil itu menjawab.. "Saya tidak
melakukan apa-apa terhadap abang tu pon.
Cuma waktu dia tidur tadi, saya bermain dengan
burung pipitnya. Tapi tidak lama kemudian,
burung itu meludahi muka saya. Kerana itu saya
patahkan leher dan kepalanya. saya pecahkan
telur-telurnya dan saya bakar sarangnya!!"

AIYO

LOL!
husband gets owned!