Jocasta agrees with you. And could be a fitting diagnosis for the mother in question.

This post has been edited by pltan: May 5 2013, 01:17 AM

Inb4 wife breastfeed milk to husband, change diaper and spoon feed husband

Ahyoyo like that also can ... Lol

Some updates ...

24th August, Saturday - My boyfriend and I went to Malacca to visit a temple for prayers. His mother called him while we were getting ready to burn joss stick and pray (there were about minimum 8 Gods there to pray). Hence, he told his mother that we were about to start our prayers and conversation ended. We silent our phones, put our things aside and went off to pray to each God.

After were were done and checked out phones, I had 18 missed calls and he had 10 missed calls from his mother. I even had 3 sms from his mother asking "Why you don't want to pick up my call" and "Pick up my call"

So I quickly told my boyfriend to return her call. We already knew what was going to happen since she could sms me like that. The moment he called she went mad and scolded him for not picking up her call and he started reasoning with her that we were praying and we silent off our phones and put aside to avoide distractions at a sacred place. She refused to accept his reasoning and said, "You could have at least sms me!!" He explained again that we both silent our phones and PLACED ASIDE so we won't even realize anybody was calling. But she refuse to accept and continued to scold him with unreasonable excuses. He got angry and shouted back and all I could see from the temple entrance was him shouting over the phone far away from the temple. After that nothing happened until ...


26th August, Monday - When we got back from work, shortly after that his mother got home. I called her as most would do when an elderly is around to show respect but she never bother to respond to me. She just nodded her head and went off to do her things. I then left to take my bath while my boyfriend cooked dinner. Next thing I knew, while showering in the loud gushing water, I could actually hear my boyfriend and my mother shouting at each other out of sudden. I ended my bath and listen to their shouts. Neighbours were watching. But I could clearly hear what was the argument about ... it was about the incident that we didn't pick up her call on Saturday when we were praying. "OMG" I was thinking ... I could hear her clearly saying that "You both never bother to answer my call! No respect!! Called so many times!!" and "You both could have sms me if cannot pick up!!" When he kept repeating, "We were praying and we silent our phones and placed aside!! We need to respect the sacred place! At least we returned your call immediately after that!!" But she still repeated the same thing, "Excuses!! You both just want to avoid me! Move out!! Move out of the house!!"

@_@

There I was hiding in my room and next thing I know she came to the room knocking hardly on the door. "Neshimaru!! I'm telling you now .. you and my son have no respect for me! Both of you move out!!" and she continued to bang the door as my boyfriend trying to stop her. I got angry and opened the door and then explain to her firmly what happened at Malacca, that we were praying. But she pointed her finger at me with her piercing eyes and shouted, "You both have no respect for me!! Move out!!"

OMG.....ur story is still going on since MAC.....

This is gonna take a while...be patient....

I know .. She slowed down a little at one point of time but her behaviour returned again .. this happened only last night. I had to literally CALL her sister meaning my boyfriend's aunty to talk to her about the mother's odd behaviour ... even his aunty thought it was odd for her to take it so offensively when we didn't pick up her calls during prayers ...

sorry to hear your story, but I supposed you're right to call her sister (aka your boyfriend's aunty). Sometimes, having same generation of people to talk to his mom is better than the younger generation.

Be strong and all the best.

You're right .. it was nice that his aunt talked to me calmly and reassure me that things will be better and that this happens due to generation gap. She said she will talk to the mother. I cried after I got the scolding from his mother. Felt so unwelcome in the house now....

I thought my condition is bad, but your version is so much worse.

I just hope whatever you do, don't separate the child from his mother no matter how obsessive she is. I am not there to witness the obsession so I don't know how bad it could get.
But do remember this, our parents time here might be shorter than we might think. When the day come you stared at the motionless coffin knowing you could never take back the things you said and the hurt you gave her, I hope that is the only regret you have and not the remorse, grief and hatred of your husband blaming you for not being a supportive wife, cooling him down when he should and making him perform his fillial duties always. Honour your parents when they are living instead of when they're gone.

TS, I hope you take this as a important point to consider. I am in no way more righteous than you are or anyone else and it is never my intention to sound criticizing. I'm not. I just hope you would consider the feelings of an old woman. You're not at her age yet so you might not comprehend what "shorter time" fear, hormonal imbalance, loneliness, social uselessness might do to a person. Even a great person could never fight aging..

I know how you feel. Just keep some positive thinking and things will get better. *Hugs*

There are guys like jy1905 who will call your bf an unfilial cbkia who should go die for treating his mom like that.

I on the other hand, maintain that your bf's mom is a Cluster B. She's probably borderline disordered. Best is to treat her like a borderline disordered individual.

1 advice to you, appreciate people that close to you.
It maybe annoying and sometimes drive you to the edges. But human do die in one point, learn to appreciate and don't miss every minute of it because you will regret it when you in their position.
Communication is important to build a healthy relationship.

Yes, please keep the "child" with the mother. Mother may be unstable, obsessive and crazy, but a mother is a mother. A mother's love is bigger than the vastness of the ocean.
Let the "child" suffers mentally, let the "child" develop his/her own mental disorder.
The "child" will become another "loving" father/mother in the future. And can cause another "loving child" case.
For the love of parents (more power to mother though) is the greatest thing in the world. Everything else nil, except maybe Jesus.

You have similar experience too? I'm sorry to hear that ..



I never plan to do that. In fact when I called the aunt I asked the aunt if the mother ever thought that I came into the picture to separate them and that I didn't meant to do it but the aunt assured me that the mother will never thought of it that way. I ever offered to stay with them instead and have been staying with them for 3 weeks already so that she can see her son everyday and we all can have dinner together... I just don't understand what went wrong ...



Thanks *Hugz*


I personally feel that she does have a little disorder too to be able to react such way but I never see it as a bad thing or look down on her. I don't even want to put her down here in lowyat. I'm here to seek advise and to rant out at the same time. Just that it's so frustrating having to experience such unreasonable things often .. last night was the worst when she pointed her finger at me, with piercing angry eyes I've never seen before and shouted, "MOVE OUT!!" I know it's bad to say it but I felt like I was facing a Monster in Law .. that's why I was desperate enough to call her sister (bf's aunt) for help. We both are at lost ...

not sure if u believe this or not, ur bf's mom needs some psychologist help. it would help everyone there. Esp her.

Else, this is going to be restless....

gud luck ya!

I think I've told you before. His mom sees your bf as a substitute form of her husband (don't laugh, it's very common in single mom families)

As long as your bf treats her like she can control him whenever she likes, she WILL treat him like someone she can control and manipulate. It's not rocket science, it's just human nature.

Your bf needs to put his foot down and say "Listen! I'm not your little servant who beckons to your every little whim. You're a grown woman, you should know what's important and what's not, and how your adult son can have a life of his own".

Yes, it'll be rough at first, but it'll work out long term.

What the two of you are doing right now is called enabling (yes, it's a special term for those type of people). You're enabling her to behave like a spoilt brat, so she does it.

I have a hunch that she has minor Umbilical Addiction syndrome but who am I to voice out in other people's family telling them that one of their family member needs psychological help? Especially being a typical Chinese family, it would be considered offensive and pride-killing to the family's name. It would make things worst if I'm the first (being a non-family member) to suggest this issue ... she would literally lash out on me thinking that I came in to ruin her whole family. Then I would look like the bad person in this whole relationship ... any suggestions?

no no no no no.....

u dont get involve. Strictly speaking, its not ur biz.

Leave to ur bf.

U 2 must start form d angle that she is stressed out. So, get a spa package for her to her relaxed, den take her to psychologist consultant there (wif d excuse to make her more relaxed n happy).

So long that d objective is to make her happy, she is likely gonna do it.

Dont ever look at psychologist visit as 'ill'. Always start by thinking to make her happier.