TS just wanted some opinions and ideas from us and funny how I can read something really out of topic like jayqc. Are you a god, saint, king or the only man in the world? Stop telling people how logically your instincts or experiences or real life you have met doesn't mean other should agree. Yes I agree guys got their freedom to have fun outside so do women. From all of your replies, I don't see any advices but kept telling others whatever a man do is always right. ----------------> Not every man got the same thinking like you do

This post has been edited by cutiepooh: Jun 18 2012, 04:22 PM

1st point, I personally believe one should be happy. If he feels happy with that woman and wants to bore a child with her , go ahead. since ts is i assume in his 20s. I believe he can take care of the mother himself financially even without the father support. If ts is like a small kid, I would advice the father not to have affair and have another kid, since his ts is till young. Better not to break up the family, as it will afffect the upbringing of ts.

2nd point, you are talking abt rape. entirely different thing. I not gonna even discuss abt that.

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Added on June 18, 2012, 4:29 pmTS question

i answer ts question again more precisely. If I am in ts shoes, I would hide this from my mom. I would advice my dad to at least still care for mom eventhou he has another family outside. If my mom really found out, I would of coz console my mom and tell her not to feel bad abt it. that is life. accept it. dad still loves you no matter what. and tell me mom you would prefer dad still active and healthy and even can take care of another child better than him sickly and lying on the bed to be cared of. I prefer to think positively.

This post has been edited by jayqc: Jun 18 2012, 04:32 PM

I really don't want to turn this topic away from what TS is trying to express and garner a few opinions but i just couldn't resist replying to your thinking.

Have you notice in all of your replies, is all about you being happy? Being happy allows you to do everything you want.

So how does that make a difference with the example of rape i've given to you. I admit it may be on the extreme side, but your fundamental understanding of being happy and the extent of sacrifice to be happy is totally wrong.

Is not about just being able to support your family and you can just go out and have fun. I guess this is just what people like you think nowadays. As long as i done my job as a man, boyfriend, husband, father, i can do the rest i wan SO THAT I CAN BE HAPPY, even if it includes things like sleeping around with other woman, gambling away my money...... ALL BECAUSE I DID MY JOB AND I WANT TO BE HAPPY.

To be honest bro, selfishness is normal. But in ur case, is totally way off the line.

Let me ask you 1 thing, assuming what you did is purely for your happiness, and assuming you are "right" with that understanding, how about those who are hurt or affected by your actions? I am pretty sure your answer will be, "well, i only live once, as long as i am happy, is fine."

This world can be very realistic, but i am going to say it again. Is because of people like you who think of yourselves only, not even your family members or those that are close to you.


Sorry TS for shifting the topic. I guess i just couldnt comprehend how jayqc can defend his thinking just because he thinks happiness is the utmost thing in life, even if it comes at the expense of others.

You know, I know a few men with your kind of thinking. And I venture to guess that both I and them are a fair bit older than you. I've seen where this kind of thinking leads to.

They are not happy. Not by a very long shot. They are wracked with guilt and regret. Regret that they married the "wrong woman", because "someone better" has come along. And guilt that they are hurting their wives and children, neither of whom they can even bear to look in the eye anymore. Don't for one second think TS' father is living a happy and carefree life with his bit on the side. He's miserable. As are all men who think they can have it all - the respectable wife and family at home, plus the fun and excitement of the other woman. You can't. Not without ruining your life, and others', in the process.

That's where your path is heading, buddy.

Nope, just quoting mr jay there.



We all have needs, how we control it, is what separate ourselves between human, or that dog we've straying around in the roadside.

Ts, if I am your friend and you tell me this family problem you facing face 2 face. i probably will give you a slap in yr face. What 'made in china' kid you talking about? is that innocent kid a object to you? Have some respect pls. If again i m in yr shoes, I will get to know the woman who bore the kid with my dad. If some day my dad is gone, at least i can still contact them and care for them. for they are also part of my family. I will care for my step brother like my own little siblings. Give him food and education. I hope yr dad in his will ,will leave some money for the mother and kid .

I really salute yr mom for being so kind even in difficult situation. still asking you to respect and love yr dad. kudos to yr mom.

This post has been edited by jayqc: Jun 18 2012, 04:53 PM

You failed at the first place. You told so much here but have you helped TS to make up her mind and accept your advices? Talk is easier and louder than action. Accept it and so easily? Don't ask others to take your advice cause you are not really in TS shoe. Your father didn't trouble you and find his happiness and present you a bro/sis now. Talk like a normal human being instead of acting like a saint here. Law and regulation are not ruled by you. Shame on you

This post has been edited by cutiepooh: Jun 18 2012, 05:06 PM

Obviously you don't know much about me then.

1. Yes, I may be open to the idea of open relationship, only within reasonable grounds and responsibilities. I wouldn't entrust such freedom to a guy if I can't trust that he'll take responsibility and not go overboard and do stupid things that will jeopardize our relationship. TS's dad and this jayqc, for example, these guys will definitely abuse the freedom given.

2. Since when I'm anti-marriage?

3. Age has nothing to do with my stand on family and relationships. And it has never changed.

This post has been edited by ace.princess: Jun 18 2012, 05:24 PM

what is advice? advice not necessary need to be followed. So if I have not experience it, i cannot give advice. if in that case, 90% of the advices here given by other fellow members to not need to be followed since how many had not experience such a issue be4. from yr reply, I assume you are a person who are hot headed person from yr reply. I wonder how yr bf/ future bf gonna handle you next time . really need to pray hard that you can find a good bf who can tolerate you

don't even know me yet jump to the conclusion. If I have extra marital, I would handle the issue way better than ts's dad. I will care for both my family equally.

HAHAHA!! Oh really??? Let me ask you, do you have a stepbrother or stepsis? If you don't, then don't talk so much crap here!

And to get to know the other woman??? Seriously??? How would your own mom feel? And worse, what if your dad walked out and stopped caring for you, because he loved the other family more? Or he felt so much guilt or ego, he won't even talk to you anymore? Don't tell me you will never ever shred a tear over that, or that you wouldn't even have a slight feeling of hate towards the people who took your dad away?

Get everyone together under one roof and sing the happy Barney song? Until you deal with having such a situation personally, you're just bullsh*tting about how "great" you will be. Kiddo, I don't think you understand how complicated these things can get. And to discount everything like it can be easily solved, that's insulting to all who have to go through very emotional tough times.

That reply wasn't for you, dungu. =.=

Ha, it seemed like you are the person really like to comment others future bf/gf/family. I pity you that you don't have anyone right now that's why you love aka dreaming that you are the most experience and only human in this thread. I wonder a person like you love asking mostly sex, marriage, gf/bf thingy you are indeed a loneliness man have no one to talk to. 9/10 disputed your replies cuz you were not furnishing any good recommendations but bullshhhiitttinggggg with the wrong approaches to TS.Thank you for praying hard for my family and my good lover cuz I pity a guy like you got no one now plus so free to give all the useless replies and also trying be rational but failed , failed and EPIC FAILED

This post has been edited by cutiepooh: Jun 18 2012, 06:10 PM

hey guys and girls! This thread has trigger so many arguements, but thanks all these have indeed given me a lot of ideas how different people thinks about this situation, especially JAYC who strongly stands for my dad. Thanks for letting me know what is the reason behind for a man to do such thing to their wives and besides my dad, you are also one of the kind! And JAYC, I would say you are man full of loves, and hope you cherish all your love to all gfs/wives in an equal distribution.
I realised I am not the one suffering these. By the way, I am not a man, thus I wouldnot understand!


Thanks for everyone out there, i should know how to handle this situation when it comes. They are many of you who sincerely sacrifice and loves your family. =)

This post has been edited by untitled99: Jun 18 2012, 05:44 PM

Oo.. now i re-read again I got your sarcasm.

Seriously jacqc, i think by right now you should be able to differentiate between the wrongs and the rights. You may keep those 'right' advises to yourself but not to even suggest to others this path when you're not even in her shoes. I wonder will you be so generous and present your dad to the chick your dad has outside (if only case). Otherwise, you won't be stressing so loudly that "MAN IS SO DAMN RIGHT HAVING A MISTRESS OUTSIDE BECAUSE HIS NEEDS ARE NOT SERVED PROPERLY AT HOME".

On the other hand, I also wonder.. have you ever thought of the consequences of you allowing your dad or yourself committing such shameful acts and crawling back to your families/kids when you're down with some kind of STD? Will you still celebrate the fact that as long as 'my dad or I am happy' i dont give a f to the people around me. I have done my responsibilities and they shall take care of me now. LOOK, they're INNOCENT!.. at this point of time, I even doubt at your capability to judge who's innocent or at guilt

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Added on June 18, 2012, 5:48 pmyou're welcome girl. Remember, be strong and rational when it comes to handling this

This post has been edited by cutiesbaby312: Jun 18 2012, 05:48 PM

Girl, I hope you can make a firm and right decision. Nevertheless, they are your parents. You still got a long life to go. Love yourself more and you will know how to love others too. Cheers

Sound like you are a little bit confused regarding the term "open relationship" if you are against "cheating".

You technically can't "cheat" in an open relationship.

In an open relationship, "cheating" is redefined. And it's not the same as per normal monogamous relationship.

Lazy to explain, but let's not detour into another "open relationship" derail...

Handle with care and be strong for your mum. On second note, you can use jayc's replies to prepare for defence since i'm pretty sure your dad will mention all those that are mentioned by Jayc in his replies.

1.women like to go an eye for an eye.
2.remember one hand cannot clap. it makes two to clap. the woman did not take away my dad, my dad choose to walk away and be with that woman. and love blossom.
3. I am great. I make mistakes too. many imo. just that if i am in ts shoes, that is what i will do. I don't believe in revenge or watsoever. I prefer to make peace and be good to others. just because you don't think aline , don't say i m bullshi*tting. You don't have a big heart while I do. That is the difference.


Just because you disagree with me, doesnt mean you are right. My thinking are not wrong too. women when met with 'marriages on rock', dont know how to deal with it rationally as usual. they like to go for eye for an eye. If only they can think that the glass is half full rather than half empty. their life would indeed be much happier.

I hope you can handle the issue rationally. Remember that kid is innocent. He/she has done ntg wrong. Love him/her like yr own siblings. If in future you buy nike shoes for children, I hope you buy nike shoes for yr step brother/sister too. Remember do good to others. Not an eye for an eye like the women here teaches you.

This post has been edited by jayqc: Jun 18 2012, 08:09 PM

hey..make sure ur dad transfer all his property to u all de name...
those china lady might wanna get close and use baby to threaten for some next time..

Cheating redefined? Lol. Like how? No matter how many girl he sleep wif when he finds you no longer sexually attractive is ok as long as he pays for your living expenses and come home every night? if that's the case what are you against in the first place? it's not that TS is neglected or wat right?

Sounds more like you just change your view whenever you find suitable. Practicing open relationship when you are sexually attractive is OK. But its not OK when you are no longer attractive. I personally don't think any man should let girls like these have such privileges. Should be equal till the end and bear the consequences of what you have signed up for at the beginning.