instead of arguing with him, lets just focus on helping the ts.

i agree with the confrontation+ dna test thing.
the china girl might as well have other guys.

Please get yr english rite. You are insulting the whole of china. you call them china bitc***. Isn't that insulting? that is not freedom of speech. it is like you are saying all our MPs are stupid. A police report can me made against you.

This post has been edited by jayqc: Jun 17 2012, 11:31 PM

No, a police report cannot be made against him, u cant defame a group. i am a lawyer and i know my facts

PRC are everywhere in Singapore being insulted, why don't you go to any Singapore forum to protect them ?

1st point, sometimes things are beyond repair. Like a person character can never change or will take a longer time to change. so another party cannot tolerate. there are many factors resulting in marriage failure.

2nd point, go on living in a fantasy world. if you think a guy takes his partner hand, they have to grow old together. it is fine with me, but i don't agree with you on that.

3rd point, we refer back to tered starter problem. Since his mother doesn't know about the problem, I don't think ts should cause unnecessary trouble in his family by telling his mother abt dad's affair. I think ts should not confront his father too. Who is he to confront his dad? he is just a son. remember yr dad fed you all these years. You do not bit the hand that feed you. If i am in ts's shoe, I would just let the situation as it be. spent more time with my mother. tell my dad to at least come home everynite and be by mother's side.


Thank you for jumping to the conclusion abt my character without knowing me thoroughly. I hope you wouldn't get a heart attack if someday you found out of yr dad activities outside.

---

Added on June 17, 2012, 11:45 pmokay. you know law better than I do. but it is still unethical to call them b******.

because I m not in singapore's forum. anyway, i feel it is not wrong to call them bitc***. they are human too. have some respect.

This post has been edited by jayqc: Jun 17 2012, 11:45 PM

jayqc, i dont want to debate with you cause we can go on all night. What i want to say is, a marriage is a long time commitment, i didnt say you MUST grow old together but its a promise that each of us hope to grow old together with the person who has bear u children, who has gone thru 20-30 years of ups and down.
And i am not living in a fantasy world, nobody enters into a marriage to foresee that the family will be torn apart, to be broken. we each have a role to play in how youdecide the outcome of your marriage to be. Things change, feelings fade but if you dont love her in the first place, u wouldnt have choose her to be your partner.. its how you choose the outcome.
Not all guys cheat, so i hope you dont generalise and put them in the same shoes as you.

Jonrev, we can debate till the cows come home also cannot reach an agreement. we are just two people looking at things differently. anyway, sleep early and goodnight.

Having an affair is one thing. Resulting in an innocent child to be born into this world due to irresponsible behavior, now that brings the situation into a whole new level of sh*ttiness.

How's your dad looking into the whole situation? Does he regret it? Or he thinks he's doing nothing wrong, because he's a man who has desires to "spread his seeds as far and wide as possible"?

With the child, it makes things so much more complicated. Because the child bears your dad's share of genes, he will be attached because it's also his son.

I foresee, sooner or later, he may need to come into a situation where he has to make a choice. Be prepared when that happens, should it come to a point where your side can't accept the family of the other side, there may be a possibility that he will walk out. At this point, you have to be tough as a family without the dad. Be there for your mom, be supportive to her. Hold the family together as one.

A complete family is always ideal. But sometimes when the worst happens, you need to be prepared for it. And your lives will definitely be changed and greatly impacted by it. It may even come to a day where he doesn't even say a word to you, doesn't visit you, don't give a sh*t about what goes on in your life, and you live life like you don't have a father anymore.

For now, it's better not to tell your mom about it, if she can't handle it. Also, try to see from your dad's perspective and why he's doing this, if this can still be saved.

It's really saddening to be saying this on Father's Day. I hope he chooses to stay with you, and keep the family intact. It stinks to live without a dad.


@jayqc: Seriously, people like you shouldn't even get married or have kids at all. You don't understand the basis of keeping the family together. Ruining a complete happy family is okay, because things change? You probably don't give a sh*t about how other people feel, or the hurt you cause others, as long as you're getting things your way.

Don't understand what are you implying.

Hey guys, please get back to the topic. TS, i have almost similar case, but slightly differ. I would recommend,
1. Do NOT tell your mom (Take care her feeling, old folks think a lot)
2. Ask your dad, what he plan / wanted to do (He need to responsible to what he had done, at least from my view for sure allocation of asset should be fair enough to your mom), often none given cause brainwashed by mistress.
3a. If he seems doesnt care of your mom anymore, so do u and your siblings. Let him enjoy his life as long as he never bother you, siblings and mom.
3b. If he care about your mom, then u may still look after him after this.

*No point arguing with him, he will come out with excuses like, i had hard time bringing u guys up and yet u guys abandon me, etc etc. Everything is too late for argue,quarrel or even discussion. Just make it straight to the point. What he WANT, what u WANT. Thats all.

+10

+100

TS family all siblings also grown up d, both parents are in retirement stats. Still want argue and scold like hong kong drama?

Your mom should just go on vacation and live her life out of those family matters. you guys are all grown up d, she no longer need to fight for you all. Just laugh at your dad have to start again from zero taking care of a child at old age. haha

Just make sure your dad doesn't being stupid sell out your home.

This post has been edited by shinkawa: Jun 18 2012, 10:11 AM

well said here

To TS,

1. Ask your mum to get a divorce, get yourself and your two brothers to take care of her. I'm pretty sure you both can.
2. Stop having hopes that he'll come back.
3. When his money runs out and his second wife ditch him, then decide whether or not it's worth anything to take him back.

The last person I knew doing something similar, died alone in a house he rented. His body wasn't discovered till a week afterward.

Know your priority on this case. Take your mum out of this. She's still in the relationship because of you and your siblings. Nothing else.
Things will become much more simpler after.

For Jay.
As for the logic of he's old and should be let do whatever he wants to. Does the same logic applies to this?



You're freaking retarded. Being old is not an excuse for acting like a horny 15 year old boy.

sad to hear your story...

confront ur dad 1st...slow talk is better than u straight bomb him,,

if only if, ur dad follow the mistress. then let him, i think ur mom have the right to know...
since your're grown up, u can persuade your mom that u guys can live without ur dad...
but, u guys have to spend more time with ur mom... vacation blabla...
not sure ur mom have lots of frens or live alone at home...let her join her frens go play mahjong,sing K or watever activity..

Jayqc, if u still think u r right and defending over something that's completely a rotten perspective, something is seriously wrong with ur upbringing. pity ur future family.

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Added on June 18, 2012, 10:54 amAnyway TS, sorry for derailing the topic.

do stay strong, be independent, provide however much you can for your mom and family. They need you now.

As whether to inform your mom or not, you may want to weigh out all the pros and cons since you know about your family's situation the clearest.


This post has been edited by slushie: Jun 18 2012, 10:54 AM

I'm sorry. I can't make sense in what you have written at all. Just because your mum is old doesn't give your dad all the right to be unfaithful. So, based on what you have written; does it mean that it's you mum's fault for not sleeping around and have fun while she was still sexually desirable when she was young? And only settle down when she finds that she is no longer as attractive? Nonsense! A husband's infidelity can't be justified by pushing the blame to the wife being unattractive. Because, IMO, other than love, marriage means the women stop choosing at their prime in return of men being faithful when they are not. Your mum chosen your dad when she was hot. And I don't think it's too much if your mum expect your dad to be faithful still when she is not.

Unbelievable to see someone that preaches the beauty of open-relationship and anti-marriage will say anything like this. I wonder if it's because age is catching up.

what I m trying to say here is I don't see anything wrong for ts's father to have another relationship with a woman. He is just finding his own happiness. Come on, he is 57 yo. How many more years can he live? If he wants to have fun, let it be. Why make a big deal out of it? The mother shud accept the fact that their marriage is practically over.

+1

Again, being 57 doesnt' mean he can act like 15.
Life expectancy for Malaysian in 2010 is 73.8 years.
Life Expectancy in Malaysia
He doesn't exactly expire 58.

Age is NOT an excuse.

This post has been edited by Lucifer96: Jun 18 2012, 01:00 PM