I'm sorry. I can't make sense in what you have written at all. Just because your mum is old doesn't give your dad all the right to be unfaithful. So, based on what you have written; does it mean that it's you mum's fault for not sleeping around and have fun while she was still sexually desirable when she was young? And only settle down when she finds that she is no longer as attractive? Nonsense! A husband's infidelity can't be justified by pushing the blame to the wife being unattractive. Because, IMO, other than love, marriage means the women stop choosing at their prime in return of men being faithful when they are not. Your mum chosen your dad when she was hot. And I don't think it's too much if your mum expect your dad to be faithful still when she is not.

Unbelievable to see someone that preaches the beauty of open-relationship and anti-marriage will say anything like this. I wonder if it's because age is catching up.

Cheating redefined? Lol. Like how? No matter how many girl he sleep wif when he finds you no longer sexually attractive is ok as long as he pays for your living expenses and come home every night? if that's the case what are you against in the first place? it's not that TS is neglected or wat right?

Sounds more like you just change your view whenever you find suitable. Practicing open relationship when you are sexually attractive is OK. But its not OK when you are no longer attractive. I personally don't think any man should let girls like these have such privileges. Should be equal till the end and bear the consequences of what you have signed up for at the beginning.

Nah, I thought that you are butthurt for TS mum now because you are very likely to be butthurt in future when your husband does that to you.
I'm just saying that you don't have such right in the place since you are the one preaches infidelity. Oh wait! No such things as infidelity in open-relationship.

I'm sorry. I'm extremely judgemental on people that practices such relationship/casual sex as lifestyle regardless of gender.
I personally find them disgusting and prefer not to have any physical contact if possible.
We can still be friend; just need to keep their physical distance to prevent any infection.

Does that correct assumption? Bah, doesn't matter.

This post has been edited by RUI: Jun 18 2012, 09:06 PM

I think jayqc is just saying how TS dad can make the situation less wrong. It's quite sad for the other woman to be a single mother and a innocent baby growing up without a father. So, for the father to take responsibility is right thing to do. I agree with you that it's not okay to break apart a family just because of dad's own "happiness". But this is a case where it's broken and the father is torn apart. "Nasi sudah jadi bubur". What left to do is what's right for the situation.

Contrary to your believe, casual sex and being responsible doesn't go hand in hand. This could be a case where the other woman got knocked up while having protected casual sex. So, to prevent broken family/STI/STD/Unwanted-pregnancy; it still best to stay away from promiscuous relationship/open-relationship/casual sex.



No I did not. Just, I remember once I sanitized my hand after a shaking hand with a friend which I later found out that he visit brothel earlier in the evening.
Nonetheless, the evening went well and they are great friends. Just that part that I find disgusting.

ONE movie date with the opposite sex is not. Deliberate intimate activities alone that eventually leads to breakdown of existing relationship is cheating in which the purpose of such activity is to establish another relationship.

I'm condemning it not because it's almost baseless and the great disparity of practice for each partner at different stage of life. Trusting your partner will keep you as priority doesn't equate he/she is keeping you priority. Hence, cheating is an indicator for a partner still committed in a relationship. Is it possible for a partner to disapprove any sexual activity? Since there is not such thing as saying no to partners sexual activity and term cheating is non-existence in open-relationship; what trust and commitment you are talking about? doesn't it sound like something full of crap?


I believe people at different stage of life will utter different rubbish depending on what suit them best at a point. In this case, what he meant is "he can have extra marital WHEN his wife no longer attractive" and he knows very well the same doesn't apply to his wife at that point. It's almost the same argument for ace.princess about open relationship. "She can have extra casual sex WHEN he is not that "attractive" (bear in mind definition of attractiveness in women POV) yet". But she MIGHT not hold the same view at later stage of her life. Time will tell.

Care to tell what's the point of getting married? Deceiving some woman to bear you kids?

Then don't make promise you don't intend to keep in the first place. Marriage is a promise. Marriage vows is there for a reason.
Any man with conscience will think twice before committing any unfaithful act. At least, divorce first and do it like a man.

So what you are implying here? It's OK for a man to find sexual pleasure from other woman simply because he is no longer satisfied with the faithful wife who stood by his side for all these years? Is this how you perceive a marriage?

If that's true; you are one selfish man that have no integrity which perceive everything as business trade and only pays woman for their services. If you want to do business, do it with good faith. NO LIES! NO CHEATING! Get urself a vietnamese wife or something.

+1. Not an easy job.


You do phrase you sentence nicely. Is it your turn soon?

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Added on June 19, 2012, 5:28 pmPay for a surrogate mother. It's not impossible. But from jayqc perspective, it's probably more cost effective to raise his kids up together with a deceived mother or a few deceived mistress? Just business POV.

This post has been edited by RUI: Jun 19 2012, 05:28 PM

Woman CAN still fool around. But the difference is that maybe kena or not, woman STILL have to bear the consequences while man have ALMOST no consequences at all. So it's advisable don't take such risk at all. Law of nature is sexist itself.

This post has been edited by RUI: Jun 19 2012, 08:47 PM

There is no written law that binds a man onto taking responsibilities/consequences outside wedlock. Only subjected to social stigma and judgement. This is also the case where woman is discouraged to fool around. Because of social stigma and judgement. But, that's ONLY if anybody gives a f*ck about it. Looking at today's society, nobody gives a f*ck anymore. That's why everybody be the person MAN/WOMAN fool's around and yet complain about it.

Is that a bad thing or a good thing?

I doubt they will stay. Primary cause of breakdown will never be money. But, in most cases, secondary effects comes together in a tough situation will be. E.g. "no longer love me; no time for me, no longer buy me gifts; bad temper; don't pay much attention to me an etc" But you like it or not primary cause; he is not capable enough.

Until a woman marrying a man without judging his capabilities in providence; I think woman in general rank "capabilities" first before anything in identifying potential partner. I believe that china woman too.

I'm sure there are exceptional case where a garbage man marries a princess or vice versa. Until you are one yourself; I think it's best you keep your comment to yourself.

First, bolded. Then it's the wife's fault for picking one as husband. Vice versa.
Death penalty should be upon the person who breaks the marriage vows. Be it the husband or the wife. Gender equality.

@jayqc, If you are arguing on the ground of doing what's right for the situation. You have a few valid points. But a wrong action is still wrong regardless of number of people doing it. Just because everybody doing it doesn't make it right. It's just means there are more @sshole these days.

If that 35% comes from male majority. People! we have a major society problem and private investigators are in booming business.

2nd bolded, that's the first wrong. Leaving the china lady and the baby high and dry will be the 2nd wrong. I'm against this too.

Not sharing the same view is OK. But what you have in mind is wrong. Cheating is wrong and there is nothing for its defense except lamest excuses you can find. Lamest excuse; e.g wife not appealing, lost the love etc n BS you can think of will never EVER make cheating right. It's a fool task to justify wrong doing. This is why everybody is against you.

Just admit that it's wrong to cheat in the first place. And of course, if you were wrong in the first place; Take responsibility don't do the 2nd wrong thing by turning your back on your doing. But that doesn't justify your first wrong. Can your simple mind comprehend this?

Take a step back fellas. This is one lonely troll that's seriously deprived of attention.

So he must be smiling wide that so many people paying attention to him. Good job troll!

Can you freaking agree that cheating is wrong regardless of the reason/lame excuse behind it?

Ok, discussion on that part ends here. jayqc agreed with the majority that cheating is wrong in the first place.
Now the second part, what to do if some @sshole knocked up someone else other than his wife. Discussion continues from here!

I'll say take responsibility and at the same time minimize the damage to the official wife. But I don't exactly have any idea how to do that.

You reap what you sow. In this case, it's called padan muka if that happens.
If TS dad willing to make it up to TS mother and earn to be pardoned; may he stands a chance to be forgiven. Else, PADAN MUKA.

Opinion differ is alright. But your methods trying to convince disgust many. Try different approach.

The idea of cheating is alright is not socially accepted nor legit. Just like raping, killing, or robbing. This is where you are so screwed up and dangerous.
If you can't differentiate between right and wrong; you are one dangerous person that should be put away from society.

You are not who you think you are. You are what people think who you are. What's the point thinking that you are lovable where every single person that get into conversation with you feels like slapping you?


opps...

He is 21. I was ignorant about this when I was 21. But when they do understand the above; they will find settling one woman isn't something they will want to do.

This law is difficult to pass because there are people like ace.princess around. That would be an oppression of freedom.

I don't know it's a law of nature or what. Woman will want to have "fun" while they are sexually appealing during their earlier part of life. Man tend to want more "fun" later part of their life after they are more financially/materialistically attractive. Transition period is somewhere between 30-35 where woman wants to settle down while man are just being exposed infinite possibilities.

THIS is experience.
The bolded. You do that? You must have a BF with happy4ever written on the face there.

Do you mind telling what exactly are you trying to prove here?
You are stupid? You are "special"? You are more accepting than others? What?

I may have agreed with you on few points earlier. But, your post eventually leads me to believe that you are suffering from attention deficit by trying really hard on a fool's task and write as if you know alot about society today. Why can't you just rest your head on a pillow tonight and think what's wrong. Why everybody is against you and comeback again tomorrow if you realize what's wrong with you?

Now all these pages about is just this.
What a pathetic way of getting female attention.