I got in a taxi last night and said, "56 Jones Street please"

He said, "Doing anything nice?"

I said, "Well, actually mate I'm going to see a woman I met on one of those adult singles sites where married people meet up for sex"

He said, "I wouldn't do it if I were you"

I said,"Why not?"

He said, "Because I live at 56 Jones Street"

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Dec 2 2011, 09:54 PM

Warning to all men:

Women are using date rape drugs called blowjobs to lure men into scams.

It is called called relationships.

My girlfriend wrote on a balloon, "Will you propose to me?"

I immediately popped the question.

The wife : "What did you buy me for my birthday?"

"Well," I chuckled. "You see that pink Mercedes over there?"
"Yes," she said happily.

"Well I bought you a toothbrush the same colour."

Arsenal are hoping to prise Samir Nasri back from Manchester City with the promise of Champions League football.

Did you realise that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes"

and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same?

ngahahahahhahaha

Not gonna do that.

Sked no sexing for a week :|

Following Manchester United and Manchester City's exit from the Champions League, every Premier League match this weekend will observe one minute of laughter

and also men's "Im on my way, 5 minutes"

This post has been edited by epsonstylux: Dec 9 2011, 10:31 AM

And also women's "It takes only 5 minutes to fix the shower head, darling.."

oh wai~ i thought married liao is waaayyyyy longer than that

Try a month.

My girlfriend says that I am not romantic, hence I wrote her a poem.

I dig,
you dig,
we dig,
he dig,
she dig,
they dig.

It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.

LMAO!

mushroom (tungku) farm



one day a guy was having sex with a girl in a mushroom farm in the middle of the night,
when the girl was on top of guy, she heard someone came and ran off
leaving the guy all hard and naked on the floor. he have to stay quite so that someone would not notice him.

that someone is a beautiful blind farm girl came to pluck mushroom,
so she plucked the mushrrom and said "one little tungku, two little tungku, three, three, three"..........squirt.... the guy ejaculated.

the next day the guy can't stop thinking about how good it felt last night and how soft the farmgirls hands and stuff, so he went there that night and get naked and lay on the farm again.....

and again the blind farm girl came to pluck mushroom and said "one little tungku, two little tungku, three, three, three"..........squirt again..... the guy ejaculated again.

the next day, this guy told his friends about his experience on the farm with this farm girl and how good it felt and stuff and all of his friends want to experiece it also
on that day also, this blind farmgirl told her father that something wrong with the mushroom these days and she could not plucked soem of the mushrooms. so the father stood up and said, " dont worry my child, i will settle it for you."

then the night came, the guy and all his friends lay all naked on the farm waiting for the experience of their lives......

then suddenly vrooooom........................(motor sound)



the farmgirl father lawnmovers all the mushrooms thinking that all the mushroom is already spoilt..........




(mind my english as i typed it as i recall this joke from my schooling days.......lol...hope u enjoy)

hahhahahahaha

Life for most men is like a pen1s.

Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely.

Then women make it hard.

Bob finally manages to save the gorgeous blonde from drowning in the raging flood and drags her to the riverbank, but he just can't take his eyes off her tits.

"Thank you, oh thank you," she whispers in his ear. "You will never regret this, I'll make sure of that. I hope it wasn't too strenuous having to pull me out of that deadly situation."

"That was easy," says Bob, "the difficult bit was beating up the other three guys that wanted to save you."

I went on a date this evening.

I said, "So, are you a vampire?"

"No," she said, with a puzzled look on her face.

I said, "So you can see your reflection and you still come out looking like that?"