Let's face it, if sperm tasted nice then none of us would have been born.
Relationship Joke v2
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 Dec 18 2011, 03:56 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land  
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Dec 18 2011, 03:57 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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A Pedo was looking at a girl's profile on a dating website.
It said, 'Just so you know, I do come with strings attached; I'm a mother-of-two. Love me, love my kids.' That's the plan... |
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Dec 18 2011, 04:41 PM
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Senior Member
4,202 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: THE ONE AND ONLY CHOO CHOO TRAIN KINGDOM  
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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 2 2011, 09:54 PM) I got in a taxi last night and said, "56 Jones Street please" lulz kena kantoiHe said, "Doing anything nice?" I said, "Well, actually mate I'm going to see a woman I met on one of those adult singles sites where married people meet up for sex" He said, "I wouldn't do it if I were you" I said,"Why not?" He said, "Because I live at 56 Jones Street"  |
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Dec 19 2011, 09:02 AM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, "You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed."
Two hours later, the invigilator calls out, "Time's up, Ladies and Gentlemen." One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in a large stack front of him. Slowly, the student finishes up and walks over to hand in his paper, but the invigilator refuses to accept it. The student puffs up his chest and says: "Do you have any idea who I am?" "No," says the invigilator. "Great," says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack. |
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Dec 20 2011, 10:29 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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What's slippery when wet?
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « |
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Dec 21 2011, 09:55 AM
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Junior Member
430 posts Joined: Sep 2006 From: Gombak,Selangor 
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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 19 2011, 09:02 AM) At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, "You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed." Took me a while....haiihh... Two hours later, the invigilator calls out, "Time's up, Ladies and Gentlemen." One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in a large stack front of him. Slowly, the student finishes up and walks over to hand in his paper, but the invigilator refuses to accept it. The student puffs up his chest and says: "Do you have any idea who I am?" "No," says the invigilator. "Great," says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack.  |
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Dec 21 2011, 10:44 AM
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Junior Member
100 posts Joined: Oct 2010
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QUOTE(Jagiya @ Apr 15 2011, 02:36 PM) geez, how'd i know if it has been reposted many times, take a look at my number of posts nutsack  |
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Dec 21 2011, 01:02 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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Two women are getting ready for bed on Christmas Eve. One goes to say goodnight to her housemate, and sees her in her room sleeping above the covers, spreadeagled and naked with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk at her crotch.
When the first girl asks "What are you doing?", the naked girl says "I don't know if it's a dream or not, but Santa always comes, eats the cookies and milk and then we have some wonderful hot sex." The other girl says "I'm really horny, I'm going to try it too." Next morning, the first girl is in the kitchen all aglow, whistling and making breakfast. When the second girl comes down, she looks like death warmed over. The first girl says, "It happened again - Santa came, ate the cookies and milk, and we made glorious love. Look, he left me a note; 'Merry Christmas Tracey, thank you for being a naughty but nice girl again. See you next Christmas, Santa'." The other girl says "I feel like shit, look at my note: 'Thanks, you were great - from Rudolph, Dasher, Prancer, Vixen...'" |
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Dec 21 2011, 01:52 PM
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Junior Member
411 posts Joined: Apr 2007
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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 21 2011, 01:02 PM) Two women are getting ready for bed on Christmas Eve. One goes to say goodnight to her housemate, and sees her in her room sleeping above the covers, spreadeagled and naked with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk at her crotch. Best to leave bestiality out. Pun intended When the first girl asks "What are you doing?", the naked girl says "I don't know if it's a dream or not, but Santa always comes, eats the cookies and milk and then we have some wonderful hot sex." The other girl says "I'm really horny, I'm going to try it too." Next morning, the first girl is in the kitchen all aglow, whistling and making breakfast. When the second girl comes down, she looks like death warmed over. The first girl says, "It happened again - Santa came, ate the cookies and milk, and we made glorious love. Look, he left me a note; 'Merry Christmas Tracey, thank you for being a naughty but nice girl again. See you next Christmas, Santa'." The other girl says "I feel like shit, look at my note: 'Thanks, you were great - from Rudolph, Dasher, Prancer, Vixen...'"  |
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Dec 21 2011, 02:46 PM
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Senior Member
1,528 posts Joined: Jan 2003
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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 19 2011, 09:02 AM) At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, "You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed." Reminds me of the Bollywood movie "3 Idiots" Two hours later, the invigilator calls out, "Time's up, Ladies and Gentlemen." One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in a large stack front of him. Slowly, the student finishes up and walks over to hand in his paper, but the invigilator refuses to accept it. The student puffs up his chest and says: "Do you have any idea who I am?" "No," says the invigilator. "Great," says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack.  |
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Dec 21 2011, 05:50 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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Both my next door neighbors have been arrested as part of the European-wide raids against online pedophiles.
F*ck knows where I'm going to get my free wi-fi now. |
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Dec 21 2011, 11:36 PM
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Junior Member
123 posts Joined: Oct 2011
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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 19 2011, 09:02 AM) At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, "You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed." there's a scene like dis in 3 idiots! =))Two hours later, the invigilator calls out, "Time's up, Ladies and Gentlemen." One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in a large stack front of him. Slowly, the student finishes up and walks over to hand in his paper, but the invigilator refuses to accept it. The student puffs up his chest and says: "Do you have any idea who I am?" "No," says the invigilator. "Great," says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack. Rancho juz ruffled up all the papers n ran out! |
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Dec 22 2011, 03:44 PM
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Junior Member
183 posts Joined: Dec 2010
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QUOTE(gregy @ Dec 21 2011, 01:52 PM) Best to leave bestiality out. Pun intended What pun? |
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Dec 22 2011, 03:54 PM
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Senior Member
621 posts Joined: Sep 2008 From: Middle of Nowhere
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QUOTE(reehdus @ Dec 22 2011, 03:44 PM) What pun? best-iality? |
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Dec 22 2011, 06:16 PM
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Junior Member
411 posts Joined: Apr 2007
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QUOTE(Shadow Kun @ Dec 22 2011, 03:54 PM) best-iality? Right on, bro |
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Dec 22 2011, 08:58 PM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
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Dec 23 2011, 09:41 AM
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Junior Member
183 posts Joined: Dec 2010
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QUOTE(Shadow Kun @ Dec 22 2011, 03:54 PM) best-iality? ah ok...didnt notice that |
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Dec 23 2011, 02:56 PM
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Senior Member
801 posts Joined: May 2007 From: uk
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QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 22 2011, 08:58 PM) No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber. hahah so true |
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Dec 25 2011, 11:18 AM
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Senior Member
886 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: MSG Land
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My son was surprised to wake up to no presents under the tree as he had heard banging upstairs last night...
Well, he did ask for a little sister. |
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Dec 27 2011, 11:37 AM
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Junior Member
36 posts Joined: Dec 2008
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hahaha.....
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