Come on...

didn't get it cos i've never seen a queue at a bar in any club, bar or nightspot I've ever been to. Queue to get in, sure, but once you're in there it's just a free-for-all for whoever can get the bartenders attention.

*facepalm* not literally a queue..
He means the girl is pretty, but there's also other girls there..
And he just wanted to reply to the 'I put U n I together' with something new..

*facepalm* not literally a queue..
He means the girl is pretty, but there's also other girls there..
And he just wanted to reply to the 'I put U n I together' with something new..

Anal sex is a lot like my first car.

I didn't really want it, but my dad gave it to me anyway.

After shagging a fat chick whilst Tucker was drunk the next morning he said to her, "Here, if you want to see me again call this number."

"Awww, men don't usually give me their numbers," she responded.

Tucker said, "It's not mine. It's Weight Watchers."

Welcome to version 2

Version 1:
http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/398704

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bloke goes to the doctor and says. "I got this sex problem doc."
The doctor asked, "Ok, tell me about your average day."
"Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up at 3am for nookie and then again at 5 so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work."

"Oh I see", says the doc. "No, hang on". said the man." .... you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl everyday and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".

"Oh... now I see", said the quack. "No you dont" said our hero, "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom."

"Oh... now I see", said the quack. "No no you dont" he said"
When I go lunch I meet this dinner lady I'm really fond of and we nip out for a quickie."

"Now I understand", says the patient doctor, "No, hang on" said the bloke. "When I get back to office, my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll sack me."
"Ahh...", said the doctors, "now I see..." "No, there's more", said the man, "when I get home, my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and sex again afterwards."

"So, whats your problem then?" ask the doc.

"Well....", said our hero, "it hurts when I masturbate"

A girl came up to me in a bar - short skirt, tits like ripe fruit, hair in a pony tail.
"What would you say if I told you I was wearing no underwear?" she breathed.

"I'd say 'neither am I'."

She raised her eyebrows. "Really? I'm wearing none because it gives men like you.." she licked her lips, "easy access.."

"Oh?" I replied. "I've got none on because I shat myself in the gents."

I was stood at the bar last night, when this girl came up beside me.
Looking her up and down, I said, "If I could rearrange the alphabet..."
"Let me guess," she said, "you'd put U and I together?"
I said, "No, I'd put U at the back of the Q."

Hmm this one I cannot brain. Help please?

*facepalm* not literally a queue..
He means the girl is pretty, but there's also other girls there..
And he just wanted to reply to the 'I put U n I together' with something new..