I was washing the car yesterday when my annoying neighbor pipes up, "You can clean mine next!"

"Ha ha!" I laughed.

Jesus, it's bad enough I have to f*ck his wife for him.

I was the first in line at the pharmacy and I asked for 50 condoms.
Two girls behind me started giggling, so I took a grim look at them and said:

In fact, I'll take 52.

LOL !!!

I'm the world's worst rapist.
I was stalking this girl in the park. I had my handkerchief already soaked in chloroform, when suddenly she turned and looked at me. I nonchalantly pretended to blow my nose.......and woke up an hour later slumped over a park bench.

At days, some words are better than panadol/antibiotics...

Girl: Do you know how the farmer counts his cows?
Boy: fingers?
Girl: *rolls eyes* try again!
Boy: eyes?
Girl: Pengsan! Try again!
Boy (tarak sabar): Cow got numbers one!
Girl, rubbing fingers gleefully: Hahahaha, naw! jek jek jek, its COW-CULATOR!



This post has been edited by bluetopaz: Jul 7 2011, 01:15 AM

i laffed

ahaha...One Malaysia got ahh......Cow got numbers one

funny----> calculator = cowculator, broken english huh

I was stood at the bar last night, when this girl came up beside me.
Looking her up and down, I said, "If I could rearrange the alphabet..."
"Let me guess," she said, "you'd put U and I together?"
I said, "No, I'd put U at the back of the Q."

After unexpectedly giving birth early in our bathroom, Paul's wife was delighted to have a beautiful baby boy.

"Just look at him Paul,and it looks like he takes after his daddy." She gushed.

"You mean he's the double of me, yeah I can see it." Paul replied.

"No" she chuckled," you both come way too soon."

good idea, bad execution.. or was that intentional (troll face)?

Was walking past some farmland when I saw an attractive blonde attempting to assemble a PC in a cornfield.

She was genuinely flummoxed so I thought I would wander over and offer a hand.
"What seems to be the problem?"

"Just wondering where I can plug this lot into," she blushed prettily.
"You're never going to get that to work in a field, love."

She scratched her head and frowned, "Then I am never going to be able to fill in this bloody online application form."
"Pardon?" I asked, at a complete loss.

"Well it said to enter my information in the appropriate fields."

Life is like being raped.

If you can't fight it, enjoy it.

Anal sex is a lot like my first car.

I didn't really want it, but my dad gave it to me anyway.

Tom asked his new girlfriend how many men she has slept with.

She said, "Six. What about you?"

Tom said, "None, I'm straight."

Hmm this one I cannot brain. Help please?

Girl stands by him (Cutting queue)

Putting U and I together (Hooking up, getting together)

Putting U at the back of the Q (Women, get you ass to the back of the line !)

So, Harry Potter kills he who must not be named!!

Ryan Giggs?

Come on...

pity son.