Dumb wife is dumb.

LOL..nice

wahahahahahhahaha

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."

To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a c0ck like that."

LOL MOM PWNED.

Broccoli: I look like a tree!
Walnut: I look a brain.
Mushroom: I look like an umbrella!
Banana: Can we please change the subject?!

hahha lol

6ft plank thrown through shop window in Tottenham.

Police say Peter Crouch is recovering well.

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago, stands up and proclaims:
'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Chrysler 300 C SRT8 every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, 'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'f*** him'.

BBC News: "Cheryl Cole lands first film role".

Please God, let it be a porno.

My girlfriend gave me three subtle hints about what she would like for her birthday:

It begins with a 'D'
It vibrates
It's a girl's best friend

I'm pretty certain I know exactly what she's getting at.

A new dishwasher.

There are three sizes of condoms:

Small

Medium

..Liar.

Uncle Sam's wife phoned him at work and said, "I'm not wearing any knickers"
Sam said, "I'll tell the boss I'm feeling sick"
She said, "So you can come home early and f*ck me?"
"No, because I'm feeling sick"

Teach a man how to fish, and through hard work and perseverance, he could eat for a lifetime.

But teach a man how to use the internet so he can order fish online, and he'll probably end up watching porn.

I tried to force-feed my son.

After a while, my wife said, "Just use a f*cking spoon. You're not a Jedi."

aaaaahhhhhh make me cry low yatttt hahahahaha

This post has been edited by shahnd: Aug 17 2011, 02:46 PM

lol I hope you're not serious.

News just in; There's female ref for the Arsenal v Liverpool game this Saturday.

The kick off has been put back an hour so she can park her car.

If sex between three people is called a Threesome and sex between two people is called a Twosome...

Then why is Handsome still a compliment?

That would depend on whose hand was it.


Will need to ask her brother about that one.

This post has been edited by allinuff: Aug 20 2011, 05:55 AM