I've just been banned off Ebay...

Apparently a piece of string and a house brick doesn't constitute as a penis enlargement kit.

My boss asked me to work through my lunch break today.

I shouted, "You f**king b*st*rd! I come in at 8.30 and don't get thanks for it, work till 7 at night and don't get thanks for it, while lazy bastards like you leave at 2 just to play golf all f***ing afternoon!"

Then I emailed him back and said, "Sure boss, no problem"

The missus was watching a cookery programme the other day.

I said, "What you watching that for? You can't cook."

She said, "You watch porn too."

Contribute abit

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Some of the jokes are not related to relationship joke already. =/

In the broader sense, a merger between two companies is also a relationship. Aiya, anyway who cares? Just sit back and enjoy la

already broke the 'relationship' thing long ago. give it up n enjoy. its cool. cheers to V2!

cannot
relationship jokes only pls

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Added on November 15, 2010, 10:04 am

This post has been edited by hizperion: Nov 15 2010, 10:04 AM

Lol at 2nd pic

This ain't your thread, biyotch

he forgot /sarcasm tag la aiyo

aiyo!

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80 minutes gone at the emirates and it's still 0-0. Arsene Wenger turns to his assistant Pat Rice and says.

Arsene: should we change it Pat?
Pat: you need to be more offensive.
Arsene: should we change it you fat c**t?

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Nov 15 2010, 02:45 PM

this IS my thread, stfu


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After a trip abroad, a lady inquired of her maid:

"Lucy, do you and your husband quarrel now the same as you used to?"
"No, indeed, ma'am," was the reply.
"That is good. I'm sure you're very glad of it, aren't you?"
"I surely am!"
"What caused you to stop quarreling, Lucy?" the lady asked.

The explanation was simple and sufficient:
"He died."

Oh, so you're really alilmisfit?

Why so f**king serious?

If butthurt GTFO somewhere and remove the filing cabinet!

lol look who's getting serious...

This post has been edited by allinuff: Nov 15 2010, 07:51 PM

guise... joke site... be nice and cheer up


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A guy walk over to the pub and sees a sign:

TODAYS SPECIAL
Chicken Sandwich: $3.00
Salmon Sandwich: $5.00
Handjob: $10.00

So he walked into the pub packed with a very attractive lady serving some eager looking group of mans.

"You the one providing the handjob?" he asked.
"For you, sure do hon," answered seductively.

"Ok, get my a chicken sandwich lady, and make sure u wash your hand before making it"

I dont know if this have been posted or not..

Extra Office Work
The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary.

He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"

The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."

A new bride was embarrassed at being known as a honeymooner.

So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way they could make it appear that they have been married a long time.

"Sure," he said. "You carry the suitcases."