my revenge turn!

REPOSTAAAA!!!!!!!!

wey how come
i search liao
dunt simply accuse

A Gay bloke is sat in the Undertaker's Office crying his Eye's out Hhe has just lost his Partner.

The Undertaker ask's the usual question's,such as preferences on Burial or Cremation.The Grieving fella,through his tears,insists on having his dead boyfriend 'cut into chunks and cooked up into a ring stinging red-hot curry'.

The Undertaker explains to the Bereaved bloke that this would be highly illegal and that Burial or Cremation really are the only services available.

the Puff still insists on the curry. He insist's on this for some time before The Undertaker finally ask's why he would want to eat his dead Partner in a hot and spicy Curry, to which the Gay fella replies....

'I just wanna....feel him dribble out of my arse...just one last time'..

That is just sick!

LOL... I kinda knew that was "cumming".

lol

A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed long way from home for a year.

A few weeks after he got there, he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.

"My love," he wrote, "we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here after work. Besides that we're constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted?"

So his wife send him back a harmonica saying. "Why dont you play this?"

Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. "Darling" he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!"

She kissed him and said, "First, lets see you play that harmonica."

lolz, smart move!!

REPOSTAAAA!!!!!!!!

haha

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Getting screwed


The old farmer was having a pretty bad year. All of his crops had been lost. Fortunately, the peach orchard had done really well.

The only way he was going to make it financially was to cut out the middle man and sell the peaches directly to the consumer. So he loaded his pickup with peaches and headed to town.

Just on the outskirts of town he came to a house. So he took a basket of peaches and went up and knocked on the door.

A gorgeous blond in a sheer robe answered the door. In a sexy voice she said, "Hi, Honey, what can I do for you?"

Quite shaken, the old farmer muttered, "I have these here really nice peaches for sale". The blond, noticing how shaken he was, decided to play a bit. So she opened the top of her robe showing her breasts.

She said, "Are those peaches full and firm like these?"

Very shaken, he managed to whisper, "Oh yes, they're really good peaches."

So she opened the rest of her robe, showing she had on no panties. She teased, "Would they be succulent and delicious like this?"

The old farmer popped out crying and said, "Oh yes, they're wonderful peaches."

She said, "Well, honey, why on earth are you crying?"

The old farmer whimpered "Lady, the cut worms ruined my tomato crop and the weevels ate all my cotton and now I think you're gonna screw me out of my peaches."

I was very drunk last night when I got pulled over by a really good looking female officer with huge breasts. She walked over to my car, and after finding out that I was drunk cuffed me and led me to her car.

She said, "Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law."

So I replied with, "Your tits please.

f***er damn horny even drunk
Anything you say can and will be held against you

I got an erection whilst I was on the bus today.

So I casually put my hand in my pocket and pulled my c0ck to the side so nobody would notice, then I got off the bus.

I just stood at the bus stop for about 20 minutes waiting for my c0ck to go soft.

People on the bus must have been thinking, "What the f is this driver up to?"

dont really get this

some kind of gay joke?

narrator = bus driver

During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French were soundly beaten in, the French just happened to capture a British Major.
An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." The French general said, "Why do you wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you."
The British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, and my soldiers will not get scared." The French general said, "That is a very good idea,"

The general turned to his orderly and said, "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants."

Lol. Old joke that I read many yrs ago, but still a good one.

Impotence : Natures way of saying
" No Hard Feelings...."

I went on a date with this really hot model yesterday. It wasnt a 'real date' date though, we just had dinner and watched a movie.
Then the plane landed.

The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.

The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".

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Added on November 11, 2010, 10:30 amOne day God came to Adam for a brief discussion. "I've got some good news and some bad news." God said.

Adam looked thoughtfully at his maker and replied, "Please give me the good news first."

Smiling, God explained, "I've created two new organs for you. One is called a brain. This organ will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and carry on productive conversations with Eve. The other organ is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your intelligent life form and begin populating the planet. Eve will be very pleased that you are now equipped with this organ as she will be able to conceive children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great and wonderful gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

God then looked upon Adam, and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

This post has been edited by hizperion: Nov 11 2010, 10:30 AM