nice one

hahaha i put in my fb lol

Apparently around 200 women are raped everyday in the UK.

The rest are just raped occasionally.

raped or 'willing to get raped' ?

Notice in a Library: " While reading the kamasutra , please hold the book with both Hands."

omg it takes me about 3 sec to process this then ROFLACOPTA

think there's a joke tht englishmen aren't exactly good in bed, and have low libido

I'm about to download the Imogen Thomas sex tape. It might take a while though...

It's 11 Gigs.

WinRAR

My wife says I talk in my sleep.

Bollocks. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.

Nice!

I'll add one:

My wife says that I am a sucker who sucks in bed.
My secretary, my PA and my busty neighbour never complained about it.

The sexy policewoman interrogating me asked, "How many rapes have you committed?"

I said, "Eight or nine."

"Which is it?" she asked.

"It depends on how soon you can get back-up."

Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness,
saying that, even though he's happy in Manchester, he does Miss Wales occasionally.


This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: May 27 2011, 10:46 AM

I pulled a gal in from a bar recently.

As we were just about to have sex, she pulled a condom out of her purse and said, "Put this on."

I playfully smiled at her and said, "You put it on."

She said, "Okay, but you need to put one on too."

Oh Em Gee!!!!
she's a shemale!!

My girlfriend left some jewellery round at my house last night. She phoned me a couple of hours later, but I was busy

So I hurriedly replied "Sorry, I'm busy I'll give you a ring back later."

She said "I want the necklace and bracelets as well"

I really need to change girlfriend.

LOLZ

During some excavation work, a team of Israeli archaeologists discovered a previously undetected cave. They were very excited because the following 5 symbols were carved on one wall of the cave:

A woman
A donkey
A shovel
A fish
A Star of David

The archaeologists declared this a unique find. The carvings were thought to be at least three thousand years old. They carefully cut out the piece of stone holding the symbols and sent it in to the Tel Aviv Museum. Soon, archaeologists from all over the world were invited to discuss the meaning of the markings.

The chairman opened the meeting by pointing to the first symbol and saying:

"we can judge from the first symbol that this race was family oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also tell that they were smart enough to train donkeys to help them till the soil. The shovel symbol means they had tools to work with. Their intelligence is highlighted by the fish, which means that when their crops failed, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol means they were evidently Hebrew."

The audience applauded enthusiastically. Suddenly, a little old man stood up in the back of the room and said,

"idiots! Hebrew is read from right to left. This is what it says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig the A$s on that Woman' "

My girlfriend said to me this morning, "Man U were shit last night."
I left the room in tears; 5 minutes is a personal best for me.

Man this really made my day..thanks for the post all this time..u really are the best