Does TS even know his ex was happy or unhappy during their r/s ?

I feel sad for TS's ex.

theWinner, while I pity your ex, I pity myself, too, as I have such a similar experience with your ex.

I understand that it's hardly to have win-win situation in relationship and family. But if there's a way, there's a will.

And, yeah, I wonder if you ever asked your ex that she's happy all these time while being with you.

Let's be brutally honest now, shall we ? I see no reason why I should hold back any longer.
Please keep in mind that I am saying this for your own good.

From the very beginning you already know, in the back of your mind, she's not good enough for your dad.

She had a to fake a 'stomach ache' to make you kiss her. And you still didn't understand that a woman needs to be cuddled lovingly,
it's not just about money, money, money, and proving yourself to your dad. How sad. I pity her.

Living in separate rooms as a couple ? What the fark is wrong with you, blindly following your Dad's whims like that ?
NO INTIMACY BEFORE MARRIAGE, HUH ?? There's a limit to being an obedient son, sometimes you have to go against man-made rules for your own happiness, dammit.

BE A MAN !!


You should have been more loving and caring. The real reason you're angry is not because she thinks you're weak. It's because you know deep down she made you violate one of your Dad's rule. Kissing is a big no-no, huh ? What a joke, buddy.


The only reason she 'loved' you was because you're rich. I'm sorry, but no girl would last 8 unloved years otherwise.
The only thing you can do right now is get over it and move on with your Research. I sincerely hope that your next relationship will be free from your Dad's interference and the 'Money' factor, or else you shall never find true love.

This post has been edited by Priapuseros: Nov 30 2009, 09:33 AM

imo it is more likely the inner struggling of him has finally got the better of him, on the surface, he seems angry at his ex, but deep down, he was angry at his ownself for his inability to defy his dad's rulings

ask yourself, do you think your dad's way of education on you could ensure his business will be safeguarded long enough when you have taken over? To be a leader in a company, sometimes knowledge from books aren't even required.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 10:01 amis it not chinaman mindset? thinking that only boy can take the helm of family business

u need to redefine ur relationship with ur dad, as in certain matters that you should insist to have autonomy, by sticking to your current style, it is not shocking to see you ll remain single for long.

This post has been edited by dattebayo: Nov 30 2009, 10:01 AM

Now, I'm telling what I thought during that time. This does not portray what is going on in me right now.

NO! We loved each other. We kissed like normal couple for the past six years, but we never do the real thing, not even with protected one. The reason I got angry was, she was kind of belittling me, she made me high through kissing and caressing, that's fine, I appreciate, but being used as a test for her own purpose is... argh... sort of unacceptable. I never limit kissing, french, wet, suck, you name it, I tried anything on earth with her.

That was the first time she put her hands on mine after coming back from UK, and I was disappointed to know it was just a test! This made me abusive, to show how weak she is and how strong I am. Back then, we were early 20s, and she was very shy and not really dared to simply put her hands.

Whether dad liked her or not is WITHIN my control. I was all out to involve her in my activities. It does not matter she did poorly in her music job, but if she is good at something, I could convince my dad to give her a high profile job in the company. That was my effort to bring dad and her together.

Let say I allow her to wear the cheesy black swim suit while swimming with others, including prominent businessman, it would a BIG MINUS marks on my effort.

Sometimes, what I did was a bit implicit, and from my perspective, there were essentially for her own good.

I know she might not want what I intend to achieve for her, but bridging all family members is a daunting challenge for me. I got to think what to happen after marriage as well.

from the winner story, it show TS is a daddy boy.
I`m very sorry for you TS , as you have the best of everything but could not treasure someone you meet awhile.

Its not I`m against your Dad or supporting your ex Gf position, its you who willing to be told what to do by your dad even he know`s more rather than you stand up & do it.

from your story telling, i see you as a marshmallow...
If a poor person can decide whats good for him & his future, its better than a rich ******* who have everything but see a single life long enough that 2nd chance don't come easily.

You can inherit your family business, but at the end of the day.. if you got the person you dont love, just as well destroy your future too & family.

No premarital marriage is to avoid me to become a yee sai zou, a womaniser who achieve nothing. He have seen a number of them among his friends' kids, and so the strict rule.

U know TS, I'm sort of like in your scenario whereby my dad always hv comments on my gf as he had lots of comments on her such as the course she studied, her career, her family background etc... Basically, he's asking me to take control of my gf's path of life as he has his set of expectation on his future daughther in law. The lucky part is, I'm not in your position whereby my career is depending on my dad so I STILL HAVE MY OWN SAY. So everytime I would just listen to those comments and try to convince my dad that everyone have their own way of living and I do not want to apply mine on hers. And yes, tat certainly pissed him off sometimes to think that his son is sooo 'weak' but let me tell u this, I LOVE MY GF FOR WHO SHE IS.

I understand how old man thinks...I feel u, and I pity u.... However!! dun u even think about patching back with her, u're just not the right guy for her. In fact, u'll never be ready for any serious committment in relationship until u start to changing yourself.

dude...Its you to self control. Your dad is just adviser. If you did the womanizer mistake. you are to be blame. Who the fck blame those who advise to you once before?.

You have to understand, people change. She doesn't come from rich ranking & statutory business family like yours. But all she know is to love you. You forgot that, ever since those who come back from overseas will change. Msia mentality is not the same as you got in states. You are exposed more to diff people & so much diff. from the Msia mentality & you will feel vulnerable.

Every laid up with a blonde chicks in states mate,? who sleeps ard? then you know why both of you would come & stay & support each other up down?


You are ranting too much like marshmallow without thinking further & look at other perspectives.

This post has been edited by KVReninem: Nov 30 2009, 10:21 AM

You got to be kidding. Remain single for long? Dad has many businessman who know how good I am (at least at the first sight during company talks and events, and as a Dr.) that introduced me to their daughter. Yet, I love her dearly for I know she's my girl.

For instance, during the golf session, other businessman's sons bring together their partners as well. While their partners do well, I stand aside and taught her patiently, now look, how do I feel? So if this is not love that I try to improve her, what do you call then?

There are so many things that put me in the shame compared to others' GF, and yet, I ignored and tried to improved her.

you have put in efforts in her, and she has reciprocally spent 8 years of her youth with you, both sides have tried their best to win each other heart, when you are trying hard to improve her, did you know what her feelings about it? Perhaps this is not what she really wants, but she just do it because she don't want to make you malu in front of ur corporate friends

perhaps your dad is right, you two belongs to different world, both trying too hard it won't do any good in the long run, both of you will hardly find happiness especially after marriage, think about the potential conflicts of your family and her family

This post has been edited by dattebayo: Nov 30 2009, 10:31 AM

I like the way this thread goes.

Dad is dad, he is rigid, I'm helpless to change him FOREVER, not even my mum.

So, I tried to improve my GF. There was nothing wrong to bring GF to join my activities with dad to show dad how good she is. I though things could go fine, but alas, it never worked.

I realize, at the bottom of my heart, she is tired and stressful. To avoid disappointment at my side, she kept things to herself, she never said she don't like swimming, golf and others, but just follow. So, on whether she likes me or not, she said YES, and we kissed like normal. She realized she did poorly at times and to make things worst, she never told me heart to heart.

Face it TS, u live in a high prestige society, so 'source' your gf there. Stop bothering our innocent and lovely ladies in this part of the world as most of them would very much prefer a poorer but loving/caring bf than to be a nice looking vast in front your businessman friends.

Gosh, now I realized why those rich businessmen in Hong Kong tend to find singer/moviestar/model as wife. Oh yea a reminder for u, divorce tend to be common among the rich and fame so it make perfect sense to say that true love is hard to be found for ppl like u. Poor u...

now... intorducing girls to you... doesnt mean anything...
its just merely as an aquaintance... you think too much...

and well... you dun love her dearly... you loved the ones thats she is gonna changed into later after all the "teaching"

thats a... PITY...

Agree.
TS, you and your ex don't seem to belong in the same world.

You should find a gf who lives at around your "level" -> rich, well-educated ? everything perfect perhaps.

TS, if you truly love her as who she is, you will ask her if she wants to pick up those sports BEFORE you start teaching her, right?

Secondly, if you truly love her as who she is, you will ask her if she is willing to attend those functions with you BEFORE you really bring her to, right?

+1 Craziechild, totally agree that TS only love what she 'would be', not what she 'had been'.

u can put the blame to lack of soul2soul communication, but even after 8 years, and she still refused to voice out her thoughts honestly, so she is partly to be blamed as well. While you on the other hand, can't you sense any signs/signals from your gf that she was tired with all these? gosh.. typical engineering guy

I sweet talked her to join, and she followed. I convinced her that everyone has a partner there. You girls, will you feel good to have your partner attend those functions alone?

Actually, she was like a shining star performing violin on stage during some of the functions. Of course, she performed only when people around asked for it, otherwise, you see, she would become a performer.