I took the courage to write about my love relationship that has failed miserably. Happy reading.

Getting Know (9 years ago, 19 years old)

I waved good bye to my family, carrying a luggage as I entered the airport security maze. The next few days, another exciting chapter of my life would begin as an undergraduate student in UK.

Finally, I reached Hannover in Germany for a transit to Manchester. Wonder how the airport looked like, I walked around and bumped into a cute girl carrying a luggage.

"Student eh?" I thought.

My eyes wandered down past her face, and her luggage read "Syarikat perlancongan ..."

"A Malaysian student eh?" I presumed.

We walked past each other.

Soon, it was boarding time. I rushed into the plane. It was amazingly coincident that she was at the window seat, while I was at the isle, which was one seat away, and that seat was not occupied.

It was an hour flight and soon we reached Manchester. I took my luggage from the overhead luggage locker, and saw the "Syarikat perlancongan" luggage. I passed it to her.

"Are you going to university?"

"Yeah", she replied, with a sweet smile.

"I'm Winner, getting to University of Leeds"

"Really? me too."

"I'm into Engineering"

"I'm into music"

We took about one and a half hour train from Manchester to Leeds and learned about each other. We joined student orientation and most activities together.

Soon, our friends teased, we are indeed a perfect match.

The couple (6-9 years ago, 19-22 years old)

We loved each other and went through ups and downs most of the times. We exchanged rings after 6 months into relationship. She was a wonderful girl, she never asked about my family and loved me as who I am. I cherished every moment with her.

The Commitment (8 years ago, 20 years old)

"You loved me?"

"Yes, of course" I replied.

"How much?"

"I'm afraid it's my turn to ask" I interjected.

"Opsss..."

"How much you loved me?" I asked.

"Tricky you... very much," then she continued,

"Now my turn, how much you loved me then?"

"More than very much"

"Tricky!"

"No lah... it's true!"

"Then how are you going to show me?"

"I'll be the most ambitious and the best man in the world, for you deserve one"

We motivated each other and I studied very hard.

The Three Years Separation (3-6 years ago, 22-25 years old)

I could not believe that I was nominated as the best student and received a gold medal during graduation. I subsequently received a scholarship to do PhD at King's College, London for three years.

Sadly, we separated as she flew back to MY. She started teaching in a music school on part time basis. She could not get a full time job and earned about RM800 per month.

Every week, we chatted through Skype for 30 minutes, but reduced to 5 - 10 minutes as I got busier. She knew I hated MSN as it always popped up and distracted my work, so we only communicated through Skype.

Eventually, I got my PhD done within 3 years that normally takes 3 to 4 years!

Back to MY (3 years ago, 25 years old)

The PhD really worn me out! I needed a break, so I helped out my father in my family business.

She remained sweet and beautiful. One day, she visited my home.

"Wah.... your home is... undescribable!" she looked astonished.

Soon, my father got me a Camry as a company car that came at lower price through tax reduction.

"Wah.... you got new car?" she exclaimed this time!

I visited her parents and they were happy with us. She lived with her parents in a double storey terrace home, which I supposed quite old.

Her new job and my father's advice (3 years ago, 25 years old)

I told my father her predicament to teach in a small music school and needed a better job, but unfortunately, it was too difficult. It happened that my father knew an event management businessman. She then took up the job to perform during VIP events and later performed in KLCC.

"Son, you must seriously contemplate about her," My dad told.

"Why?"

"I have seen more girls better than her"

"Dad, don't worry, I know what to do"

I realized that being the only son, he wanted me to choose carefully. My dad wanted her to be clear that opening doors for her in job was not meant to be a ticket to our family.

"And, just ignore the girls if you find them annoying," my dad continued, referring to the girls in the office and I meet daily during marketing and while giving talks.

My GF didn't have much saving then, I paid her RM1500 per month for dress, cosmetic and facial.

My busy schedule (3 years ago, 25 years old)

I became very busy dealing with business, and my dad was always telling I have much more to improve in everything I did. From marketing to finance to human resource to accounting, there were tones to go through! Again, I worn out and old behaviors of mine crept back, just like while I was doing a PhD, I hate people to annoy me. I started to priortize my works.

She was annoying! (3 years ago, 25 years old)

When I was tired, she called for a movie and shopping! I was so annoyed when she called me out just to choose an evening gown that she would pay through my credit card that I had given her. There were many small annoying cases where I thought extremely trivial!

Deep down, I yelled "It doesn't matter you have small matters, but don't add burden to me!"
"你惹麻烦没关系, 可别三番四次麻烦我!!!!"

Things turn sour!

She performed violin very well in a performance at KLCC. She was most beautiful in her evening gown. I presented her 11 roses.

On our way back to her home. We were in a dark housing area.

"My stomach ache..." she complained.

I pulled over.

"Are you OK?" I put my hands over her stomach and moved my head closer.

Just all of a sudden, she caught hold my head and we kissed.

She undo my suit button, and put her hands on mine.

"No," I said, as I recalled my dad's advice.

On top of that, my dad is totally against shotgun marriage to save face for some reason, I admit.

Things turn MORE sour!

We never talked after that. I supposed she was temperamental. After two weeks, I bought another 11 roses and we had dinner near my office.

"I know you are strong, why you never approach me for the past six years?" She asked.

I turned irate!

"Just because you want to know I'm strong or weak, you lied on your stomach ache?"

I paid the bill and left for my office without meal.

Things turn EVEN MORE sour!

So, we went genting during a weekend after one of my meetings. I was actually very busy and hoped that trip could be canceled. Before I left, my dad passed me two vouchers for high end hotel rooms, normally given to managers. I also brought a Shiraz (red wine).

So, I brought her to the hotel room, and she turned irate this time knowing that we were in separate rooms! She stormed me out of her room!

I drank the whole Shiraz and slept through. The next day, I told her my busy schedule and we need to go back home immediately.

The separation again (2 years ago, 26 years old)

I got a job as researcher in NZ and moved here since then. We never communicated well, and probably, we have known each other for long, and the kind of love had fizzled out.

Break up

Six months into my job, she suggested break up. I agreed without much consideration.

Now (28 years old)

Both of us remain single. I heard from my male friend, she left her job and went back to the music school teaching again.

Reconciliation (28 years old)

Life has never been easy! As time goes by, the guiltiness and love grew stronger and stronger. It was simply irresistible. I missed her kiss, her hug, her smile, and even tears. I made up my mind to patch up with her.

On Dec 2, I flew back to MY from NZ.

Part 1: Dad vs Me AGAIN!
Wed, Dec 2, Noon

I arrived MY in the morning. I was tired due to time difference of 5 hours between MY and NZ. Mum has prepared my favourite lunch. She's always been caring. Next, Dad, Mum and I chatted in the study room at home. We talked mostly about my Dad's health. Then, about the business.

"Come to office later, you gotta show your face, otherwise everyone thought you were fired indefinitely."

"I'm tired, and will leave this Friday. Do I have to go to office?"

"Just show your face to managers, and I'll also show your results."

"What results?" I asked.

"Your poor performance! The business project."

"Alright, if you wanna scold, scold now." I was getting impatient.

"You did your project for six months about two years ago, every manager knew your poor performance!" Dad raised his voice.

"What's the results. Talk now, don't yell in the office!"

"Winner, speak properly." Mum advises.

"You managed the project for six months, you know the net profit? It was about RM300,000! That's a pathetic RM50,000 per month!" Dad yelled.

"What's wrong with RM50,000 per month for my first project?"

"You dare to ask! You told me you worked hard, and this was what you have got to show! If you were managing the entire company, it would have already been declared bankrupt!"

"You only gave me a pathetic team with 3 persons including 2 new employees, what do you expect?!" I questioned.

"My stupid son, can't you recruit yourself? Can't you borrow employee from other departments? I would have fired if you were not my son!"

"Everyone busy in the company, how to borrow?! Recruit new people need money, and the risk of the project was high! OK, I have failed! Fire me!" I barged out of the room, and stayed at the doorway.

"Told you son has his own way too, don't shout at him." Mum said softly.

"If you shout at him and know how to teach, I won't have to shout!"

Frustrated, I went golfing.

P/S: Dad would only scold me in a four-eye meeting (or six-eye with Mum). He is always proud of me in the office and outside. He has no fixed target in projects, and the target is always subjective. I was stupid though as I did not question much about the target of RM90,000 per month in this project, which was near to impossible! If I were to hire more people, the net profit would be less than RM50,000. Even borrow employee from other department needs to pay the other department money and reduce the net profit in this project!

Dad is dad, his target is always unachievable!

Wed, Dec 2, Nite

Went clubbing with a group of male friends. I was unhappy and drunk. Suddenly, I realized that my GF never likes clubbing, and all the while I went clubbing myself with others.

What a day! I was supposed to come back for reconciliation with GF, but ended up fanning the flame of angry.

Part 2: First Meet After TWO Years

Both of us were walking casually in a park near her music school in Genting. The park was quiet and deserted.

"How's life Winne?"

"Sorry, I'm Alice... it has been more than one year."

"I'm very good. How are you?" she continued.

"Not too bad."

"So, what brings you here? Business, I bet?"

"Yeah. But, I miss you too."

"Help yourself to concentrate on your work then."

"I tried, but I failed."

"Doesn't sound like you. Failure has never crept into your mind." She chuckled.

I was silenced by her statement.

"Feel cold?" I asked as I was offering her my suit jacket.

"No, I have acclimatised"

"Well, how's your work?" I asked.

We chatted about our daily routine, family and parents. Everything goes fine, however, it was unfortunate that her younger sister was diagnosed with a serious disease that has put her on edge. I listened to her predicament and suggested several private hospitals.

"Winne, I love you."

"Your new secretary eh?" She smiled. "I'm Alice"

"I'm sorry, I'm wrong, right from the beginning."

"Again, doesn't sound like you. Wrong for what?"

"Winne, you know I love you most."

I whimpered and tried to convince her how deep was my feeling towards her. I felt helpless, and made a small step towards her. I put my suit over her shoulder and hugged her hips from behind.

"Back off or I'll yell!" she exclamed, while passing the suit back to me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Winner, please don't disappoint the new Winne, she needs you most!"

"No, you are my Winne, forever."

"Sorry, my boyfriend will come shortly, I have made him a call."

I felt helpless! I was sick at heart upon hearing about boyfriend.

She was getting annoyed and started to recall the past.

"You always said your secretary is hot and beautiful!"

"It was just a joke."

"I never like facial, hair dressing and make up sessions several times a week!"

"You could tell me."

"Winner, you never change!"

"Shall I tell you to love someone uglier than your secretary?" she continued.

"You always said how hot and beautiful the other girls at swimming pool!"

I kept silence.

"Shall I tell you to love someone wearing a primary one swim suit?"

I was astonished she could vividly remember every detail that I do and told unintentionally.

"I'm sorry, my fault"

"AGAIN! Doesn't sound like you. What fault? It was me who can't cope with that, so my fault!"

"No, I never understand you. I'm sorry"

"Hi James, meet Winner" A man, about 35 years old, came and stand a few meters away from us.

I inched forward and put my suit over her shoulder and, again hugged her. I shed tears.

"Winne, I could not lose you"

"Back off or I'll yell!"

"No, I love you Winne, I know you have feeling towards me"

She agitatedly shrugged me off.

"What are you doing? Winner! My boyfriend's here!"

She got out of my hold and slapped me lightly at my right cheek.

"You're crazy!"

"No, I love you! I can't live without you."

I moved forward and hugged.

"Back off! You are abusive!"

"Hey you!" the as**** yelled.

"James, he's crazy."

James pushed me off and punched me right in the stomach!

"James, what are you doing! Stop!" Winne yelled.

"Can't you men use your brain? Both of you are crazy!"

"Alice, are you OK? You are shivering." James asked.

"Winner, I'm sorry, are you OK?" Winne concerned about me as I was doubled over.

"I'm fine Winne" I replied. My feeling was akin to beating my head against a brick wall! Deep down, I exclaimed "Who the hell is this James? You got her and punched me!"

"Let's go Alice, he was assaulting you." the son of a * said.

"Shut up! Can't you stop making trouble?" Winne shouted. She was right. How dare this son of a * punched me!

Winne propped me up.

"I'm fine. Bye." I told Winne. I'm uncertain what to do next and barged off.

"Bye. Sorry again, Winner."

I'm hurt deep down.

Part 3: She's Winne?!

Upon returning home, I called her to apologise.

"Hello" her father greeted.

"Hi Uncle, I'm Winner. How are you?"

"Fine. What was happening? She keeps silent and herself in her room."

Her father has been keeping mum on our relationship, and is indeed someone for me to turn to.

"Sorry, just a small misunderstanding."

"Winne, you have a phone call." her father called her.

Deep down, I was confused. Her father called her Winne! Did I hear correctly? I bet I was correct!

"I suppose she's taking a rest. Anything you wanna talk to me?" her father replied.

"Nothing. I'm glad she's taking a rest."

"Winner, no one else could understand her most except you."

"She's been with you for eight years," her father continued.

"I'm sorry." I replied.

"You are a smart guy, you know what to do. Uncle only hopes to see her happy."

"I will. No worry uncle."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Part 4: At the KLIA airport
Friday, Dec 4

I arrived at the KLIA airport five hours earlier than my departure time. Aimlessly, I walked briskly around the airport.

"How encouraging if she could appear." I thought.

If only I could turn back time, how I wish those sweet moments when we first met in Germany could reoccur. I deeply regret for love is the precious gift to be treasured, yet I have been mistreating her

Time is ticking ever faster. Soon, it was one hour to departure time. Subconsciously, I quickened my pace. I wasn't late but where am I getting to? I'm confused.

"Winner!"

I turned my head to the side. She was standing there alone with her glistening eyes. We looked at each other for a moment. It was a mixed feeling... thankful, relieved, joy, confused, palpitations...

I inched towards her.

"Hi Winne, how are you?"

I cleared my throat. We remained silent, and were overwhelmed with emotion. She began to shed tears.

"I hope you could accept my apologise." I whimpered.

She snuggled and hugged me.

"I love you. I'll never hurt you again." I promised her.

We hugged each other. She remained silent and cried over my shoulder.

"Life has never been easy for us. I'm sorry." I apologised.

She passed me the suit jacket that I left her yesterday.

"Thanks for the flight ticket." I took the tickets from the suit.

"So, don't you leave if I don't come?" She said softly, sobbing between words.

"I'll be by your side, Winne."

"Winner, I'm sorry, but I'm tired with my sister getting sick, and I'm occupied with my work as well."

"Winne, everything will be fine. Don't worry."

I know I could not get a positive response at that moment, but I'm willing to wait for her answer.

Soon, it was boarding time. We bid farewell.

Part 5: NOW in NZ
Sunday, Dec 6

It has been more than one day since we bid farewell to each other. I am still waiting for a response. Be it positive or otherwise, I'll leave it to our destiny, for I have tried my best.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Dec 6 2009, 11:52 AM

To skysherly,

I realize your point, but I had taken my commitment to her seriously. Alright, I'll take more time off the next time, thanks.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 02:05 PM

Yeah, she's lovely! For the past eight years, I have been stressful and having sleeping disorder at times, and frankly speaking, I could only sleep while thinking her smiling to me.

But, I'm in a difficult position as well as my father is very strict, he has the highest expectation on me.

My father advice was to avoid me being "Yee Sai Zhou", a womaniser who play around and fail to achieve everything. That's why he totally disagree I have any intimate relationship before marriage.

But, she misunderstood. She aroused me just to test if I'm strong and wanted to know why I never approached her. I was extremely angry on this! How could she think I'm weak? She should be more logical!

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 02:14 PM

She's an obedient girl, I don't think she would toy people around.

I think she does not have enough confidence with me, or both of us. She realized that I am strong, and have good prospect, just why I don't approach her might be suspicious... No, I'm not really sure, I think girls could interpret better....

1. No one can exactly tell what is really going on in his mind! To contemplate other girls may mean she is really not good enough, but so far I rated her excellent while attending important events. And she did show the right manners. While, my dad may want me to consider other girls so that we don't have intimate relationship. My father hates Yee Sai Zhou, and being the only son, you know he can't afford to have me achieving nothing!

2. No. I didn't mean the relationship is a commitment. I meant my PhD and achievement success is OUR commitment. Not half an hour per day, it was half an hour per week. My goal was to quickly finish my PhD on time within 3 years, so I kept our communication minimum during that time. I wanted to get back to MY as soon as possible with her, that's why I was cool.

3. Girl, ask yourself. To avoid further embarrassment on her, I pretended nothing happended, and maybe this was my mistake. Being angry, I didn't think further on that and concentrated on my work.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 02:48 PM

I know communication was insufficient. And I appreciate your points. Yes, she's the best girl on earth, she's obedient. Within that 5 minutes, I sweet talked a lot, and she was all the way happy.

Maybe I was/am money minded, so my thinking is more into money. I agree I didn't gave her enough emotional support, but I tried, just like attending her performance.

Actually, she's good that she didn't really want to spend my money at times, and the facial package was arranged by me through phone call after browsing internet. And also, her hair dressing. Yes, she need to be presentable for performance, and to convince my father and others that she's the girl.

Yes, i'm kinda selfish.

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Added on November 29, 2009, 3:44 pmYou have a good point here. I never know it took her much courage to make the first move. I was all the while angry to hear she thought I'm weak!

Next, what would you suggest if i were to see her one day? She remains single, and recently, she sends me some wishes. I have been thinking whether to let her know i'm going back to MY for some times before heading for overseas.



This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 03:44 PM

True, as I have said, she has been obedient. She's not materialistic at all.

My father is a strict person and I have been listening to him all the while, and what's more I'm getting business from him, just can't afford to make him worry.

Of course I have ego, I hate her test, though I might misunderstood! I missed her when she sent me wishes recently... sigh

All the while, yes, I put myself as a very generous bf, but i doubt the others agree with me.

Actually, she has been very independent. I see her effort to present herself in a way that never embarrassed anyone. Once, we were attending a function at a children home with a number of VIPs. I could not believe when she went on a small stage and played a violin, while the children cheers.

Why i should not arrange facial and hair dressing for her? She's shy with using my money.

Because I have no idea how to make her to accept me, not even a single idea! Call me a dummy, and I confess love is complicated, much more complicated than my research! I never know how to make her feel better, less embarrassed. I understood, while she is strong, it might be a bit hard for her to bear with some intense moment that I had brought about.

To continue my story:

At Genting, I was drunk after having a bottle of Shiraz. I knocked on her door. She felt something amiss and opened.

"I'm so strong that I could ..... " I yelled.

I don't know what happened clearly then but when I woke up, I was on the bed in her room, and she was in my room.

I think I embarrassed her a lot. Stupid me!

Somehow I felt I have given her the least while i was in UK for three years doing my PhD. And, while i was in MY, I gave her something that she never need. In the end, we break up, wwhile she has been my biggest motivation to date.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 04:34 PM

That was 8 years relationship! Are you sure girls could easily take 8 years to tell whether suit or not? How many 8 years a girl have?

I could not forget her, frankly. I never sweet talk with other girls, for 8 years, I have only sweet talked her, and it just made me impossible to sweet talk any other girls.

Dad is highly regarded in my life! He is a successful person, and has his own way to teach. Mind you, while I was kid, my elder sister could go party till 10pm, while as a son, I have to study at home after dinner, and no watching TV is allowed. Now, if you think he is a chinaman type, you were totally wrong. He merely have high expectation on me.

During the six months while I was in MY after completing my PhD, dad was very happy to have a son that people call "Dr.", but in the office, he would tell different story. You study PhD, but you know nothing about business, you failed miserably! And within that six months, he challenged me to do a business project. After six month, I didn't do very well, and not too bad either. Not only he wanted me to be a better person, but he wanted me to stay occupied so as not to main-main with girls around.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 6:36 amYes, I realize now. Thanks.

While I was in MY, I spent 80% of my time with dad, the other 15% with seminar, talks and mum, while less than 5% with her.

Actually, I have tried to involve her in my activities. I always go swimming, golfing, sauna, and gym with Dad and his businessman friends. I spent about RM20,000 to get her a membership for Kelab Golf Diraja (on top of monthly fees no less than RM100) and also golf set.

The story continues.



At the Golf Club,

"You'll make it" I convinced.

She was holding a golf stick, trying to hit a ball into a hole tens of meters away.

I stood behind her, holding her hands, I repeated the mantra again for the countless times.

"Use strength from your hip, just see your hands and golf stick as pendulum, your hip twists, and the pendulum will hit the ball."

She hit.

"There you go, see, very simple.", as the ball flying through the air.

She tried herself next only to find that things get back to square one, swinging the golf stick in the air while the ball remained intact.

At the swimming pool,

I changed into swim trunk, and was waiting for her at the swimming pool when she inched towards me.

"Gosh!" I yelled, deep down. She was wearing a dark single piece swim suit.

"This is not a primary school swimming lesson, get a two-piece swim suit the next time, now get back and change to your normal dress."

We changed and went to the swimming pool.

"Next time, you two better get fast, people have been waiting. What did you two do, we are not going for party." Dad was referring to our wears.

"I'm sorry but she is not feeling well today, and I'm afraid I need to get her back."

Because she didn't really learn well, or may be interested with my activities, she seems to do fairly bad at times.

Yes, I agree, I was arrogant. I should find some times doing something that interests her rather than getting her to learn everything that I want her to do. Call me selfish.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 6:45 amLife's not as simple as you think.

I'm in a position where there is no choice but to excel! High expectation from dad on a single son like me. If I were to act like what you have suggested, to think money is less prioritized, my dad would be very disappointed. I put myself in my dad's shoes. You don't make old dad unhappy, right? And, everyone has a single dad only. There is always tug of war between getting everyone happy.

Deep down, sometimes I yelled, "Could anyone understand my feelings? Who don't want to excel in both career and relationship?" And, sometimes, I'm just an intermediate in a tug of war between Dad and my GF, hope you see this.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 6:48 amYes, she is independent and strong. While I was doing PhD in UK for three years, she DID NOT KNOW about my family background at all. That's why, as I hva said, she's not materialistic, in the least bit.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 6:50 amSweet talk was the most I could do at thousands of miles away. What would you suggest? I know talking about problems and personal life. What else other than these, any ideas?

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Added on November 30, 2009, 6:51 amWhat make you think she's still with me?

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Added on November 30, 2009, 6:54 amI have been thinking that love story is boring. I never like love story movie, and if we go movie, it would be like action movie.

She seldom suggest any movie and I choose movie all the times.

I'm bad eh? OK, selfish me if you think I never understand her choice of movies.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 6:57 amYou failed miserably! If you are interested in me, you should have find out who I am, that's what people have been preaching in this thread! Why ask question about me? You know I'm not kaki perempuan leh...

I know you were joking

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Added on November 30, 2009, 7:05 amYour comments made me speechless...

I love her much, and I'm not sure if she would remain single or affected by the worst me in the past. I'm a responsible person, and if I had hurt her too much, and I should patch, then I think I should give it a go.

I have never seen her crying, and complaining me although now I realize the worst in me in the past. I yelled and scolded, but she never like 大小姐 or get into cold war. I now realize she tolerate me a lot.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 7:13 amI was a bit abusive that time, and if not my dad advice, I would be making things worst. I was irate, and kept thinking "Who you are trying to kid, little girl! I'm weak?! I'm going to show how weak you are!"... "I'm winner! I'm strong and powerful!"

I'm have no idea how this inner beast of mine crept in. But, believe me, I did nothing wrong physically, that was just something that gone a bit far in my mind.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 7:17 amYes, she gave me the biggest motivation. Actually that 5 minutes skype per week, most likely 2 minutes sweet talk, and 3 minutes her encouragement, from research to my research supervisor, examination, talks and seminars. Thinking back, I did not motivate her a lot. I thought my PhD was OUR GOAL, so she motivate me was rather common.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 30 2009, 07:17 AM

Now, I'm telling what I thought during that time. This does not portray what is going on in me right now.

NO! We loved each other. We kissed like normal couple for the past six years, but we never do the real thing, not even with protected one. The reason I got angry was, she was kind of belittling me, she made me high through kissing and caressing, that's fine, I appreciate, but being used as a test for her own purpose is... argh... sort of unacceptable. I never limit kissing, french, wet, suck, you name it, I tried anything on earth with her.

That was the first time she put her hands on mine after coming back from UK, and I was disappointed to know it was just a test! This made me abusive, to show how weak she is and how strong I am. Back then, we were early 20s, and she was very shy and not really dared to simply put her hands.

Whether dad liked her or not is WITHIN my control. I was all out to involve her in my activities. It does not matter she did poorly in her music job, but if she is good at something, I could convince my dad to give her a high profile job in the company. That was my effort to bring dad and her together.

Let say I allow her to wear the cheesy black swim suit while swimming with others, including prominent businessman, it would a BIG MINUS marks on my effort.

Sometimes, what I did was a bit implicit, and from my perspective, there were essentially for her own good.

I know she might not want what I intend to achieve for her, but bridging all family members is a daunting challenge for me. I got to think what to happen after marriage as well.

No premarital marriage is to avoid me to become a yee sai zou, a womaniser who achieve nothing. He have seen a number of them among his friends' kids, and so the strict rule.

You got to be kidding. Remain single for long? Dad has many businessman who know how good I am (at least at the first sight during company talks and events, and as a Dr.) that introduced me to their daughter. Yet, I love her dearly for I know she's my girl.

For instance, during the golf session, other businessman's sons bring together their partners as well. While their partners do well, I stand aside and taught her patiently, now look, how do I feel? So if this is not love that I try to improve her, what do you call then?

There are so many things that put me in the shame compared to others' GF, and yet, I ignored and tried to improved her.

Dad is dad, he is rigid, I'm helpless to change him FOREVER, not even my mum.

So, I tried to improve my GF. There was nothing wrong to bring GF to join my activities with dad to show dad how good she is. I though things could go fine, but alas, it never worked.

I realize, at the bottom of my heart, she is tired and stressful. To avoid disappointment at my side, she kept things to herself, she never said she don't like swimming, golf and others, but just follow. So, on whether she likes me or not, she said YES, and we kissed like normal. She realized she did poorly at times and to make things worst, she never told me heart to heart.

I sweet talked her to join, and she followed. I convinced her that everyone has a partner there. You girls, will you feel good to have your partner attend those functions alone?

Actually, she was like a shining star performing violin on stage during some of the functions. Of course, she performed only when people around asked for it, otherwise, you see, she would become a performer.

I love my GF for who she is!

To be frank, I feel you are a bit unrealistic here. It's about life after marriage. Wife and family must be harmonious. I realize that she would not be able to mingle well with my family knowing that she never get used to the activities I do all the while, so I helped her, step by step, to get used to my life style. This is what I felt I must do as a man, otherwise there would be quarrels all the times!

I'm not changing her for the purpose that you suggested! I'm helping her to get well with my family.

Thanks for this wake up call. Alright the story continues:

Breakup:

It was 12am in NZ, and 7pm in MY.

The stars were twinkling in a velvet sky. Dragging myself to the desk, I made a Skype call.

"Hi dear" I greeted.

"Hi" a soft voice replied.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Let's keep short,"

"No,"

"I though you need rest?" I'm surprised she wanted to talk longer.

"Let's stop it indefinitely," she said softly.

"Are you sick?"

"I need a break," she replied.

"Aright, let's take a short break, I'll call back later," I suggested.

"No,"

"Then, we make it short," I repeated.

"No,"

"Then, what do you want? Sorry, I don't get you" I'm confused.

"I need a break," she repeated.

"Alright, I'll see when I can get back to MY so that we can have a break together, where you want to go for holidays then?... How about a cruise? I know a cruise that goes back and forth between UK and MY."

"No, i don't need a break," she replied.

"Then, what else you want?" I'm extremely confused.

"I need a break between us." she said firmly.

"Alright," I caught her point this time.

"Could I return you the diamond rings?"

"You could donate them," I replied.

"Alright, I'll mail you the proof of payment and receipt.

"Bye"

"Bye"

Yes, frankly speaking, I was foolish enough to agree immediately.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 30 2009, 11:36 AM

No. I didn't really know, but it seemed to me she was too tired to talk, and I didn't want to argue with her.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 11:57 amWhy can't you think both of us are victims?

I know I'm wrong in this relationship.

Please don't say I DO NOT LOVE her, especially debbieyss. I LOVE her. Please look at the shades of grey, rather than black and white.

Sometimes, I think I'm 身不由己! But, I tried in full force to make it happen.

I'm sad with the ending!

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 30 2009, 11:57 AM

I missed her dearly and hope to be with her again.

I'm thinking to get back to MY and talked to her parents at the first place. Then, give her a surprise, and propose to her.

I'll never give rose and diamonds this time. I'll never wear suit as before so as not to remind her of the past.

I could change for her. I just want her back.

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Added on November 30, 2009, 12:16 pmShe suggested to post the receipt, I din say.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 30 2009, 12:16 PM