I took the courage to write about my love relationship that has failed miserably. Happy reading.

Getting Know (9 years ago, 19 years old)

I waved good bye to my family, carrying a luggage as I entered the airport security maze. The next few days, another exciting chapter of my life would begin as an undergraduate student in UK.

Finally, I reached Hannover in Germany for a transit to Manchester. Wonder how the airport looked like, I walked around and bumped into a cute girl carrying a luggage.

"Student eh?" I thought.

My eyes wandered down past her face, and her luggage read "Syarikat perlancongan ..."

"A Malaysian student eh?" I presumed.

We walked past each other.

Soon, it was boarding time. I rushed into the plane. It was amazingly coincident that she was at the window seat, while I was at the isle, which was one seat away, and that seat was not occupied.

It was an hour flight and soon we reached Manchester. I took my luggage from the overhead luggage locker, and saw the "Syarikat perlancongan" luggage. I passed it to her.

"Are you going to university?"

"Yeah", she replied, with a sweet smile.

"I'm Winner, getting to University of Leeds"

"Really? me too."

"I'm into Engineering"

"I'm into music"

We took about one and a half hour train from Manchester to Leeds and learned about each other. We joined student orientation and most activities together.

Soon, our friends teased, we are indeed a perfect match.

The couple (6-9 years ago, 19-22 years old)

We loved each other and went through ups and downs most of the times. We exchanged rings after 6 months into relationship. She was a wonderful girl, she never asked about my family and loved me as who I am. I cherished every moment with her.

The Commitment (8 years ago, 20 years old)

"You loved me?"

"Yes, of course" I replied.

"How much?"

"I'm afraid it's my turn to ask" I interjected.

"Opsss..."

"How much you loved me?" I asked.

"Tricky you... very much," then she continued,

"Now my turn, how much you loved me then?"

"More than very much"

"Tricky!"

"No lah... it's true!"

"Then how are you going to show me?"

"I'll be the most ambitious and the best man in the world, for you deserve one"

We motivated each other and I studied very hard.

The Three Years Separation (3-6 years ago, 22-25 years old)

I could not believe that I was nominated as the best student and received a gold medal during graduation. I subsequently received a scholarship to do PhD at King's College, London for three years.

Sadly, we separated as she flew back to MY. She started teaching in a music school on part time basis. She could not get a full time job and earned about RM800 per month.

Every week, we chatted through Skype for 30 minutes, but reduced to 5 - 10 minutes as I got busier. She knew I hated MSN as it always popped up and distracted my work, so we only communicated through Skype.

Eventually, I got my PhD done within 3 years that normally takes 3 to 4 years!

Back to MY (3 years ago, 25 years old)

The PhD really worn me out! I needed a break, so I helped out my father in my family business.

She remained sweet and beautiful. One day, she visited my home.

"Wah.... your home is... undescribable!" she looked astonished.

Soon, my father got me a Camry as a company car that came at lower price through tax reduction.

"Wah.... you got new car?" she exclaimed this time!

I visited her parents and they were happy with us. She lived with her parents in a double storey terrace home, which I supposed quite old.

Her new job and my father's advice (3 years ago, 25 years old)

I told my father her predicament to teach in a small music school and needed a better job, but unfortunately, it was too difficult. It happened that my father knew an event management businessman. She then took up the job to perform during VIP events and later performed in KLCC.

"Son, you must seriously contemplate about her," My dad told.

"Why?"

"I have seen more girls better than her"

"Dad, don't worry, I know what to do"

I realized that being the only son, he wanted me to choose carefully. My dad wanted her to be clear that opening doors for her in job was not meant to be a ticket to our family.

"And, just ignore the girls if you find them annoying," my dad continued, referring to the girls in the office and I meet daily during marketing and while giving talks.

My GF didn't have much saving then, I paid her RM1500 per month for dress, cosmetic and facial.

My busy schedule (3 years ago, 25 years old)

I became very busy dealing with business, and my dad was always telling I have much more to improve in everything I did. From marketing to finance to human resource to accounting, there were tones to go through! Again, I worn out and old behaviors of mine crept back, just like while I was doing a PhD, I hate people to annoy me. I started to priortize my works.

She was annoying! (3 years ago, 25 years old)

When I was tired, she called for a movie and shopping! I was so annoyed when she called me out just to choose an evening gown that she would pay through my credit card that I had given her. There were many small annoying cases where I thought extremely trivial!

Deep down, I yelled "It doesn't matter you have small matters, but don't add burden to me!"
"你惹麻烦没关系, 可别三番四次麻烦我!!!!"

Things turn sour!

She performed violin very well in a performance at KLCC. She was most beautiful in her evening gown. I presented her 11 roses.

On our way back to her home. We were in a dark housing area.

"My stomach ache..." she complained.

I pulled over.

"Are you OK?" I put my hands over her stomach and moved my head closer.

Just all of a sudden, she caught hold my head and we kissed.

She undo my suit button, and put her hands on mine.

"No," I said, as I recalled my dad's advice.

On top of that, my dad is totally against shotgun marriage to save face for some reason, I admit.

Things turn MORE sour!

We never talked after that. I supposed she was temperamental. After two weeks, I bought another 11 roses and we had dinner near my office.

"I know you are strong, why you never approach me for the past six years?" She asked.

I turned irate!

"Just because you want to know I'm strong or weak, you lied on your stomach ache?"

I paid the bill and left for my office without meal.

Things turn EVEN MORE sour!

So, we went genting during a weekend after one of my meetings. I was actually very busy and hoped that trip could be canceled. Before I left, my dad passed me two vouchers for high end hotel rooms, normally given to managers. I also brought a Shiraz (red wine).

So, I brought her to the hotel room, and she turned irate this time knowing that we were in separate rooms! She stormed me out of her room!

I drank the whole Shiraz and slept through. The next day, I told her my busy schedule and we need to go back home immediately.

The separation again (2 years ago, 26 years old)

I got a job as researcher in NZ and moved here since then. We never communicated well, and probably, we have known each other for long, and the kind of love had fizzled out.

Break up

Six months into my job, she suggested break up. I agreed without much consideration.

Now (28 years old)

Both of us remain single. I heard from my male friend, she left her job and went back to the music school teaching again.

Reconciliation (28 years old)

Life has never been easy! As time goes by, the guiltiness and love grew stronger and stronger. It was simply irresistible. I missed her kiss, her hug, her smile, and even tears. I made up my mind to patch up with her.

On Dec 2, I flew back to MY from NZ.

Part 1: Dad vs Me AGAIN!
Wed, Dec 2, Noon

I arrived MY in the morning. I was tired due to time difference of 5 hours between MY and NZ. Mum has prepared my favourite lunch. She's always been caring. Next, Dad, Mum and I chatted in the study room at home. We talked mostly about my Dad's health. Then, about the business.

"Come to office later, you gotta show your face, otherwise everyone thought you were fired indefinitely."

"I'm tired, and will leave this Friday. Do I have to go to office?"

"Just show your face to managers, and I'll also show your results."

"What results?" I asked.

"Your poor performance! The business project."

"Alright, if you wanna scold, scold now." I was getting impatient.

"You did your project for six months about two years ago, every manager knew your poor performance!" Dad raised his voice.

"What's the results. Talk now, don't yell in the office!"

"Winner, speak properly." Mum advises.

"You managed the project for six months, you know the net profit? It was about RM300,000! That's a pathetic RM50,000 per month!" Dad yelled.

"What's wrong with RM50,000 per month for my first project?"

"You dare to ask! You told me you worked hard, and this was what you have got to show! If you were managing the entire company, it would have already been declared bankrupt!"

"You only gave me a pathetic team with 3 persons including 2 new employees, what do you expect?!" I questioned.

"My stupid son, can't you recruit yourself? Can't you borrow employee from other departments? I would have fired if you were not my son!"

"Everyone busy in the company, how to borrow?! Recruit new people need money, and the risk of the project was high! OK, I have failed! Fire me!" I barged out of the room, and stayed at the doorway.

"Told you son has his own way too, don't shout at him." Mum said softly.

"If you shout at him and know how to teach, I won't have to shout!"

Frustrated, I went golfing.

P/S: Dad would only scold me in a four-eye meeting (or six-eye with Mum). He is always proud of me in the office and outside. He has no fixed target in projects, and the target is always subjective. I was stupid though as I did not question much about the target of RM90,000 per month in this project, which was near to impossible! If I were to hire more people, the net profit would be less than RM50,000. Even borrow employee from other department needs to pay the other department money and reduce the net profit in this project!

Dad is dad, his target is always unachievable!

Wed, Dec 2, Nite

Went clubbing with a group of male friends. I was unhappy and drunk. Suddenly, I realized that my GF never likes clubbing, and all the while I went clubbing myself with others.

What a day! I was supposed to come back for reconciliation with GF, but ended up fanning the flame of angry.

Part 2: First Meet After TWO Years

Both of us were walking casually in a park near her music school in Genting. The park was quiet and deserted.

"How's life Winne?"

"Sorry, I'm Alice... it has been more than one year."

"I'm very good. How are you?" she continued.

"Not too bad."

"So, what brings you here? Business, I bet?"

"Yeah. But, I miss you too."

"Help yourself to concentrate on your work then."

"I tried, but I failed."

"Doesn't sound like you. Failure has never crept into your mind." She chuckled.

I was silenced by her statement.

"Feel cold?" I asked as I was offering her my suit jacket.

"No, I have acclimatised"

"Well, how's your work?" I asked.

We chatted about our daily routine, family and parents. Everything goes fine, however, it was unfortunate that her younger sister was diagnosed with a serious disease that has put her on edge. I listened to her predicament and suggested several private hospitals.

"Winne, I love you."

"Your new secretary eh?" She smiled. "I'm Alice"

"I'm sorry, I'm wrong, right from the beginning."

"Again, doesn't sound like you. Wrong for what?"

"Winne, you know I love you most."

I whimpered and tried to convince her how deep was my feeling towards her. I felt helpless, and made a small step towards her. I put my suit over her shoulder and hugged her hips from behind.

"Back off or I'll yell!" she exclamed, while passing the suit back to me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Winner, please don't disappoint the new Winne, she needs you most!"

"No, you are my Winne, forever."

"Sorry, my boyfriend will come shortly, I have made him a call."

I felt helpless! I was sick at heart upon hearing about boyfriend.

She was getting annoyed and started to recall the past.

"You always said your secretary is hot and beautiful!"

"It was just a joke."

"I never like facial, hair dressing and make up sessions several times a week!"

"You could tell me."

"Winner, you never change!"

"Shall I tell you to love someone uglier than your secretary?" she continued.

"You always said how hot and beautiful the other girls at swimming pool!"

I kept silence.

"Shall I tell you to love someone wearing a primary one swim suit?"

I was astonished she could vividly remember every detail that I do and told unintentionally.

"I'm sorry, my fault"

"AGAIN! Doesn't sound like you. What fault? It was me who can't cope with that, so my fault!"

"No, I never understand you. I'm sorry"

"Hi James, meet Winner" A man, about 35 years old, came and stand a few meters away from us.

I inched forward and put my suit over her shoulder and, again hugged her. I shed tears.

"Winne, I could not lose you"

"Back off or I'll yell!"

"No, I love you Winne, I know you have feeling towards me"

She agitatedly shrugged me off.

"What are you doing? Winner! My boyfriend's here!"

She got out of my hold and slapped me lightly at my right cheek.

"You're crazy!"

"No, I love you! I can't live without you."

I moved forward and hugged.

"Back off! You are abusive!"

"Hey you!" the as**** yelled.

"James, he's crazy."

James pushed me off and punched me right in the stomach!

"James, what are you doing! Stop!" Winne yelled.

"Can't you men use your brain? Both of you are crazy!"

"Alice, are you OK? You are shivering." James asked.

"Winner, I'm sorry, are you OK?" Winne concerned about me as I was doubled over.

"I'm fine Winne" I replied. My feeling was akin to beating my head against a brick wall! Deep down, I exclaimed "Who the hell is this James? You got her and punched me!"

"Let's go Alice, he was assaulting you." the son of a * said.

"Shut up! Can't you stop making trouble?" Winne shouted. She was right. How dare this son of a * punched me!

Winne propped me up.

"I'm fine. Bye." I told Winne. I'm uncertain what to do next and barged off.

"Bye. Sorry again, Winner."

I'm hurt deep down.

Part 3: She's Winne?!

Upon returning home, I called her to apologise.

"Hello" her father greeted.

"Hi Uncle, I'm Winner. How are you?"

"Fine. What was happening? She keeps silent and herself in her room."

Her father has been keeping mum on our relationship, and is indeed someone for me to turn to.

"Sorry, just a small misunderstanding."

"Winne, you have a phone call." her father called her.

Deep down, I was confused. Her father called her Winne! Did I hear correctly? I bet I was correct!

"I suppose she's taking a rest. Anything you wanna talk to me?" her father replied.

"Nothing. I'm glad she's taking a rest."

"Winner, no one else could understand her most except you."

"She's been with you for eight years," her father continued.

"I'm sorry." I replied.

"You are a smart guy, you know what to do. Uncle only hopes to see her happy."

"I will. No worry uncle."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Part 4: At the KLIA airport
Friday, Dec 4

I arrived at the KLIA airport five hours earlier than my departure time. Aimlessly, I walked briskly around the airport.

"How encouraging if she could appear." I thought.

If only I could turn back time, how I wish those sweet moments when we first met in Germany could reoccur. I deeply regret for love is the precious gift to be treasured, yet I have been mistreating her

Time is ticking ever faster. Soon, it was one hour to departure time. Subconsciously, I quickened my pace. I wasn't late but where am I getting to? I'm confused.

"Winner!"

I turned my head to the side. She was standing there alone with her glistening eyes. We looked at each other for a moment. It was a mixed feeling... thankful, relieved, joy, confused, palpitations...

I inched towards her.

"Hi Winne, how are you?"

I cleared my throat. We remained silent, and were overwhelmed with emotion. She began to shed tears.

"I hope you could accept my apologise." I whimpered.

She snuggled and hugged me.

"I love you. I'll never hurt you again." I promised her.

We hugged each other. She remained silent and cried over my shoulder.

"Life has never been easy for us. I'm sorry." I apologised.

She passed me the suit jacket that I left her yesterday.

"Thanks for the flight ticket." I took the tickets from the suit.

"So, don't you leave if I don't come?" She said softly, sobbing between words.

"I'll be by your side, Winne."

"Winner, I'm sorry, but I'm tired with my sister getting sick, and I'm occupied with my work as well."

"Winne, everything will be fine. Don't worry."

I know I could not get a positive response at that moment, but I'm willing to wait for her answer.

Soon, it was boarding time. We bid farewell.

Part 5: NOW in NZ
Sunday, Dec 6

It has been more than one day since we bid farewell to each other. I am still waiting for a response. Be it positive or otherwise, I'll leave it to our destiny, for I have tried my best.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Dec 6 2009, 11:52 AM

Well, there isn't anyone is right or wrong in relationship stuff. Turn a look into it, you were expecting her to be understanding to you but she is just an ordinary girl who expecting the bf to be there for her whenever she needs some companion. For you, she is disturbing and annoying but have you really think of her? I don't intend to side anyone, it's just, I guess we should learn to see things from both sides which will be better.

If busy is the only excuse for you unable to get a gf, then it's really funny that what makes you think those busy businessmen able to get a happy family? We all have 24 hours per day, it is all depends on us how do we want to spend it with people around us and as well our work. If the first relationship issue couldn't work out, there's still second and third to come, most important, learn from every single mistake that you've made in the past relationship, affirm yourself it doesn't happen anymore.

sometime i was wondering ~~ compare with love and money .... which is the more important? love? money?

god give you such a lovely girl, but because of your job and your father advice .... u ruin the love in your life.... isn't there is a way to secure the relationship?

she just need you to accompany her ~~~ but you ignoring her because of your busy schedule ..i was wondering is it worth for you?

you still may choose the girl that u may like... but is there time for you to date her?

yes, u might be successful businessman... when your time comes, u still be lonely if you cant find a suitable girl accompany u~~

This post has been edited by outsider: Nov 29 2009, 10:14 AM

There is such type of girls exist, sometimes they call/ask for movie/shopping or whatever, they just wanted to please the bf to make the bf feel happier.

For guys, starting of the relationship is so damn wonderful, as if the gf is the angel; but when there's a time not in a good mood, while gf just tries to please or without intention, immediately the gf turns to be annoying and irritating.

I don't mean to say guys are bad or the girls are good, but I'm just wondering if she is such an irritating person, what makes you fall in love with her at the first place? Sometimes, we can take parents' advice but not all and blindly. If a relationship ends, it's not a party's fault but both.

He is busy yet he has all the freaking time to reply and post on LYN?

Sounds just like an attention seeker or another pathetic sad man to me

10 seconds, 10 minutes or 60 minutes, still considered as "moment".

In b4 BTL. CC Is Not Your Blog™. kthxbai

zomg...Joanne Yeoh? can't be, time and date is not correct, but strikingly similar...

Thanks for sharing, bro.
Good luck!

Such a sad story. A short trip to 7-11 would have make the ending a bit rosier.

Touche

Seriously dude, get your head out of work and enjoy your life abit. Theres gotta be a balance between your work and personal life, which from what I see atm, is 100-0.

such a wonderful love story.. so sad it is a sad ending.. Hopefully u will find your love one in the future "Winner".. Good luck

a rich guy + poor gal = sad story....

a poor guy + rich gal - FTW!!!

..And the purpose of this thread is? Not advice, certainly not giving of it. Nor is this a discussion of any sorts.

In before BTL.

i will say when you are in the relationship you cannot just think from your side only. There are comitment and sacrify you have to face it. i will say that when young age you never came across the problems you facing just more to enjoy the sweet time. As from the girl side ya she wanted to have you more since you cannot give her the time so do not complaint and seek pity from here. i have the other situation than yours. Everything is just excuse for yourself, if you want to do you can do it, is a matter you want it or not thats all.

Could someone enlighten me with what BTL is???


EDIT: BTL = Baronic Thread Lock (Thanks Kampung! I got it almost correct)

This post has been edited by lovelyduckling: Nov 29 2009, 12:38 PM

In another matter...

When one can juggle personal material commitments and relationship, only then, perfect harmony will be achieved.

This post has been edited by Kampung2005: Nov 29 2009, 12:41 PM

3 years of boring and annoying?? how u survive in such of 3 yrs..

well..the whole thing is good for her. at least she better be with somebody who can listen to her small2 matters.

u dun lost much why so sad...

Seems like the girl trying to fish you into more intimate relationship and expect you to spend more time with her.
You didn't take the bait and maybe she is too desperate for it already. Maybe she also feel bored of the cold/dull relationship after few yrs with u.
Some girls like new, exciting life full of satisfaction for physically, mentally and material gain .... its not easy to fullfil their humongous desire and needs.

After show their true colour, theres no turning back liao. These girls will go try fishing for other "sui yee".

To skysherly,

I realize your point, but I had taken my commitment to her seriously. Alright, I'll take more time off the next time, thanks.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 02:05 PM