Yeah, she's lovely! For the past eight years, I have been stressful and having sleeping disorder at times, and frankly speaking, I could only sleep while thinking her smiling to me.

But, I'm in a difficult position as well as my father is very strict, he has the highest expectation on me.

My father advice was to avoid me being "Yee Sai Zhou", a womaniser who play around and fail to achieve everything. That's why he totally disagree I have any intimate relationship before marriage.

But, she misunderstood. She aroused me just to test if I'm strong and wanted to know why I never approached her. I was extremely angry on this! How could she think I'm weak? She should be more logical!

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 02:14 PM

...and boring.

She's an obedient girl, I don't think she would toy people around.

I think she does not have enough confidence with me, or both of us. She realized that I am strong, and have good prospect, just why I don't approach her might be suspicious... No, I'm not really sure, I think girls could interpret better....

Ok ok. Before I leave for piano teaching classes, I just want to ask few questions only:

1. What did your father actually want to tell you by saying: Contemplate about her. And he told you he has seen many other gals better than her, does he mean your ex isn't good enough? How much has your father known about her that he could put such a judgement on her?

2. LDR, Skype from half an hour to 5 minutes. If you said this relationship is a commitment, what is that that actually stopped you from spending her half an hour per day for Skype?

3. Do you believe that she tells you she approached you just to check if you are strong? Do you think there's actually another reason which is what moved her to do so?

4. I'm a pianist at lounges and pubs, doing master program next year, i know chinese as well, are you interested in me? I can be your online GF or GF in real life. And, I'm so desperate to debate with your father!

kthxbai!

zzzZZZzzz

This thread needs to be locked. He already make his decision of dumping the poor girl.

Lock it.

She is not checking whether u r strong or weak, she is just:

1) want to improve you two relationship by getting more intimate...

2) have her need in sex...

1. No one can exactly tell what is really going on in his mind! To contemplate other girls may mean she is really not good enough, but so far I rated her excellent while attending important events. And she did show the right manners. While, my dad may want me to consider other girls so that we don't have intimate relationship. My father hates Yee Sai Zhou, and being the only son, you know he can't afford to have me achieving nothing!

2. No. I didn't mean the relationship is a commitment. I meant my PhD and achievement success is OUR commitment. Not half an hour per day, it was half an hour per week. My goal was to quickly finish my PhD on time within 3 years, so I kept our communication minimum during that time. I wanted to get back to MY as soon as possible with her, that's why I was cool.

3. Girl, ask yourself. To avoid further embarrassment on her, I pretended nothing happended, and maybe this was my mistake. Being angry, I didn't think further on that and concentrated on my work.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 02:48 PM

+1

you did not appreciate her. if i were ur ex, i would have dumped you when you were doing your PhD in London. with the communication of 5 min A WEEK, she still chose to be with you, i would say she is the best gal on earth!!!

you were acted like those parents who do not have time for their children and compensate them with $$. sometimes, girls need companionship more than $$. but for you, you might think that with the CC you have given to her, she can definitely shop alone without bothering you. why?? because she does not have high income and saving. i tell you what, a girl who wants your money will do like what you expected your ex to do, but unfortunately, your ex isnt that type of girl (lucky you, but u did not appreciate, so, pity you)

did you realize that your story after you have done your PhD keep relating your ex to $$?

lastly, i would like to tell you, you are extremely selfish.

sorry if i offended you, zhong1 yan2 ni4 er3 (this is han yu pin yin, do not have chinese program).

Winner,

I presume everyone in a relationship will try their best to commit, of course I'm not talking about those young kiddos who play a fool in love around. I'm glad that you realize my point. As I read off all the post here, I can tell you from a girl's point of will, it's never easy for a girl to actually make the first move for an intimate relationship. The main reason for a girl to do so will only hope to please the lover in order to improve the relationship, of course cut off those b!tches around, I'm not talking about slut but normal girls. Sometimes, when something happen, it doesn't make it better for the girl if you just pretend nothing happen. You know, girls are different, we are not the worm in your stomach to know what you think, and eventually, girls need more affirmation from guys. In fact, in that matter when you were just pretending nothing happened, you were actually further the embarrassment on her.

Communication is one important tool in all relationships, may be for you it's enough with just 5 minutes a day but if the other party was not satisfied, there's actually many ways for you to do something to balance up for both side. Anyhow, since this is the past, is there a point for anyone to talk about it anymore?

cool story bro!

i'm in no position (either financially or otherwise ) to give my 2 cents, however here is what i think...



btw, do you have a job opening for me?

I know communication was insufficient. And I appreciate your points. Yes, she's the best girl on earth, she's obedient. Within that 5 minutes, I sweet talked a lot, and she was all the way happy.

Maybe I was/am money minded, so my thinking is more into money. I agree I didn't gave her enough emotional support, but I tried, just like attending her performance.

Actually, she's good that she didn't really want to spend my money at times, and the facial package was arranged by me through phone call after browsing internet. And also, her hair dressing. Yes, she need to be presentable for performance, and to convince my father and others that she's the girl.

Yes, i'm kinda selfish.

---

Added on November 29, 2009, 3:44 pmYou have a good point here. I never know it took her much courage to make the first move. I was all the while angry to hear she thought I'm weak!

Next, what would you suggest if i were to see her one day? She remains single, and recently, she sends me some wishes. I have been thinking whether to let her know i'm going back to MY for some times before heading for overseas.



This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 03:44 PM

I don't see there is any problem with Winner. You are in fact a very generous bf with great prospect.

The girl needs to be more independent that's all. She has you who can make things possible for her. She should be spending her time taking care of her own stuff and concentrating on her own career, improve herself instead.

You are still young and your father is right. There are many temptations out there and it is important for you to be in control of yourself. People often label rich and successful people a womaniser, daddy's boy etc...

I suggest you find a girl who knows what she wants, who can take care of her own things. You shouldn't be arranging facial and make up appointments. The most a guy needs to do is drive the gf to her appointments or have the driver take her there.

Since you travel so much, if I'm the gf, I look forward to flying out to see you while you are away. Then I can visit places, attend world class concerts and learn more.

If you are both serious and she has vision for the future, everything will be different once you become husband and wife. Then you can spend more time together. Hopefully by then, career and work wise both are stable and you can have more time together.

This post has been edited by barista: Nov 29 2009, 03:51 PM

True, as I have said, she has been obedient. She's not materialistic at all.

My father is a strict person and I have been listening to him all the while, and what's more I'm getting business from him, just can't afford to make him worry.

Of course I have ego, I hate her test, though I might misunderstood! I missed her when she sent me wishes recently... sigh

to me she is very independent already...

problem is... every independent human.. STILL needs companionship...

All the while, yes, I put myself as a very generous bf, but i doubt the others agree with me.

Actually, she has been very independent. I see her effort to present herself in a way that never embarrassed anyone. Once, we were attending a function at a children home with a number of VIPs. I could not believe when she went on a small stage and played a violin, while the children cheers.

Why i should not arrange facial and hair dressing for her? She's shy with using my money.

Why do you want people to suggest you what to do when you see her a day? Isn't that this is your relationship for you to do what you desire? She remains single or not, I guess she has her own reasons, as for you if you think you want to meet her, then go ahead; else, leave it.

You are generous because money isn't an issue for you, but can money gets everything you want in life? Such as companionship, love, happiness? Well, being generous doesn't mean you are not selfish or good. Everyone has a different point of view in everything. As for your relationship, no doubt everyone here can tell you a lot for what to do or even criticize you for who you are, but at the end of the day, it is you to decide what you really want.

Next time when you are angry, just take a deep breathe first, try to calm yourself and then think for the others. When you can't control your own emotions, what makes you think that you can even give happiness to somebody else?

Ahh... she is the normal type of girl. Bf spend... shy but take also.

If a girl seriously want to improve her situation, she will be doing a lot more to make a living. Then she can use her own money for anything. However, most girls just want to be taken care of. It isn't hard at all to be nice when someone can take care of the money. If you do not listen to your dad, she will move in with you right away.

I'm sharing here as a woman who is still single. I play music, I teach art and I work a full time job in a public listed company. Believe me, it is much tougher to try to make something out of my own career, buy my own car and condo than to find some man who will take care of everything for me. Personally, I feel that self dignity is very important. Although I don't make a lot and wouldn't consider myself a career woman, at least I can take care of myself and I am ready for marriage when I feel the time is right.

Because I have no idea how to make her to accept me, not even a single idea! Call me a dummy, and I confess love is complicated, much more complicated than my research! I never know how to make her feel better, less embarrassed. I understood, while she is strong, it might be a bit hard for her to bear with some intense moment that I had brought about.

To continue my story:

At Genting, I was drunk after having a bottle of Shiraz. I knocked on her door. She felt something amiss and opened.

"I'm so strong that I could ..... " I yelled.

I don't know what happened clearly then but when I woke up, I was on the bed in her room, and she was in my room.

I think I embarrassed her a lot. Stupid me!

Somehow I felt I have given her the least while i was in UK for three years doing my PhD. And, while i was in MY, I gave her something that she never need. In the end, we break up, wwhile she has been my biggest motivation to date.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 29 2009, 04:34 PM

+1.

Up your social intelligence, my friend.

Life with regrets, not nice at all.

Money = can earn

"That" person (girl) = once lost, hard to retrieve