ok

note taken...

Got a lucky lad in mind to try it on, Debbie?

currently still love my ex-bf...

Its time to move on debbie

I know.

Give her an offer she cant resist

<sigh> This is not "5 Ways to Get Back Your Ex Who Won't Commit to You, But Only Wants to f*** You."

wah sai, u lurking here at this hour

TS...for the step 4,if the girl was being abused by man b4 or she is very cautious about men,then wat should we do?

Lol why in all threads, there's always debate between ezra and silv with others.

Drew, listen to Silverhawk's advice.

How many times have you taken her out before, how do you usually interact with her, and what do you usually do together?

I'll add more thoughts after I get your answer.

Regarding inviting her to your home, you might think that it's innocuous but from experience women tend to be more wary and circumspect about going to a guy's house.

Might be a better choice to take her out to do something fun before asking her to your place. She might think you're looking for a quick lay and think she's easy. Then again, everything depends which is why I asked you those questions above.

Regarding if she likes you, there are two necessary components:

1. You have to have confidence in your own attractiveness, no matter what other people think. You must believe this is an innate quality. You must have grounds to do so, and your confidence must be unshakeable.

2. You can see her degree of interest in you by how she treats you. Is she receptive to you? When you gaze into her eyes, does she gaze back? Does she laugh at your jokes? When you ask her to do something, does she do it? Is she comfortable with your touch? When you make a silly face does she laugh? When your body is close to hers, is she comfortable with it? Does she actually lean in closer, or does she seem nervous, or does she try to keep her distance?

^ These things and many more are ways you can use to judge how much she's into you.

--------

Next: attitude

A lot of success in life depends on your attitude. This is true of love also.

Two things stand out from your posts:

1. You think believe that you may be discounted entirely on the basis of race

2. "try to win her heart by cooking something?". You want to "win" her heart.

A) There are a lot of Chinese guys out there with really hot girlfriends and wives of other races. What's the difference between them and other Chinese losers?

1. They do not have an inferiority complex, they do not believe that they are inferior or that other races of men have an advantage just because of race. They have not allowed themselves to be mentally colonized and defeated, unlike other men who have completely absorbed negative ideas into their sense of self.

2. They have very strong personal qualities that set them apart from other people, that make them noticed in a good way.

3. These traits ensure that they are seen not just as "some Chinese guy" - which is a very vague and generic label and most susceptible to almost any number of negative stereotyping and racism out there - but as actual personalities.

B) Love and relationships are like clapping, it takes both hands, both parties. It's always a good idea to have the other party willing to invest just as much into you as you are to her, from the very beginning. If she's willing to do that, that significantly lessens the chances she will take you for granted or leave for greener pastures.

Instead of trying to "win" her heart, give her a chance to win YOURS. This is very important.

Also, what is it about her that you like? What is it that sets her apart from other women you meet and interact with? Be clear about this, enough to understand the basis of your attraction towards her. If all goes well, one day she will surely want to know.

Likewise, rather than trying to "win" her heart, let her find out about you, portray the side of yourself that has value and that makes her unique, and give her a chance to recognize and appreciate that.

Well, I've written too much already. All the best, Drew!

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Jul 31 2009, 02:50 AM

No problem. Thats what i have said, GROW in love, not fall in love.
Everything starts from building meaningful friendship first, getting to know each other. The attractiveness within will bloom like a flower, delicate and intimately... ("wat wat? in my butt" sorry, can't stop imagining that MTV)

No problem about that.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The more you get acquainted to him/her, the more you would eventually grow in love.
I've seen how butt ugly people gets the prettiest/most hansem mates.
Its not how you look that matter. Its how well you carry yourself, and how sincere and gentle and sweet you are.

Look for a soul mate. Not a wife.

Wow. am bedazzled.

wow one liner ..

btw ppl find right ppl to love instead of learning to love right ...

A lot of people don't really understand what love is. That's the thing: it's hard to understand love until you've been shown love.

At the risk of sounding sappy and unmanly, I would say that learning to love is just as important as finding the right person to love.

ur right too but lol we are going in circles .. ppl have too much expectation tho hahaha

Yes, it is true that people have too much expectations.

I believe that this is because these expectations come from external sources, as well as ignorance about the self.

So when you have a man or woman that doesn't understand him or herself, cannot understand their desires and what motivates them, doesn't know what they want in a partner beyond the most superficial things and external appearances, then you have all these external sources telling them what is "good" or "bad" and "right" or "wrong" or "cool" or "uncool", it is bound to happen that all their expectations are in the end irrelevant.

As for finding the right person to love and also learning to love, I believe that they are two separate but inter-related things, thus it is not a chicken or egg question nor apples and oranges simile, but more like ant and wasp. Sorry I can't find a better simile or analogy, my brain failed at the end there. Argh

To learn to love, is to start placing the priority of the other person above yours.
It will come a time when what you want isn't as important as what she wants.

Now thats selfless love. To commit, and to cherish. Without cease, with great perseverance.

Come, and make love to me, and I will teach you LOVE!

This post has been edited by happy4ever: Jul 31 2009, 03:57 AM

love is not something that comes so easily

Or else how to cari makan ?
I've been sleepless for a week edi


+1