I strongly agree to silver's "be a man". What doesnt kill u, only make u stronger.

But then again, it comes with ALOT of stuff to consider.

For those high on hormones, dont barge in and confess to a supermodel-like girl that was chaffeured to school in a limo, while you yourself barely know how to comb your hair properly and wearing that one-week old singlet.

This post has been edited by alanyuppie: Mar 6 2009, 05:25 PM

not bad. good one.
maybe u can try typing on girls confessing on guys?

Have the answer already. And by the way the signature just temporary one so no worries. I'm a designer and love to play around with "emotionally impactful designs".

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Added on March 6, 2009, 5:31 pmI think it's almost the same. Have to know girls to survey first and write my findings.. hehe

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Mar 6 2009, 05:31 PM

honestly, on first read, i really thought that there are sense in your post...

but after reading hawk's comment, well, i do find what he states is correct as well,

lets just say this, in short...

go out, have fun, meet people while you are having fun, and things will...blossom from there, trust me...=)

i got dump by a girl who is thinking of her ex all the time while she is with me.. her ex is damn perfect .. damn..
although i'm mentally prepare for broke up.. but it still hurts..

no one is really "prepared" for break ups/rejection

well, if you really have no feel for those, well, you don't really like that person after all, right?=)

mods sticky this ! good stuff

what about aftermath for a girl to confess..?

nice one TS, should be helpful for lots of ppl.

props TS, the truth hurts though lol.

Nice guide. I've been rejected once, while the girl is my best female friend i can say. She rejected me kindly enough, and we're still best friends now and we chat almost everything!
*But we never go for any outing, swt

hehe my case is like spoiler #2. I put her in a dilemma. I was the 'too late' guy. So as a gentleman, I backed down and off to the stars!

Im sorry to say, but there are some misleads and hypocrisy involves in this article of yours.



I have no idea what you're talking here but if i have to tell you the truth, beauty is IN the eye of beholder. Are you trying to tell the whole world that we are superficial when judging a concept of beauty just because you had been rejected numerous times? If a lady with hotness and sexiness walks in front of you and you were attracted to her (keeping an eye on her), are you trying to tell me that you are superficial with your thoughts? Sounds like hypocrisy here. Or maybe you're telling me that when women keep rejecting you, to a certain point you believed that you had 'enough' thus concluding its all superficial to you and so the whole world must know that if a person had been rejected thousand times, women must be actually be saying that you're not handsome? Well, sucks to be you but i still have to tell you the truth that beauty is still in the eye of beholder because we are always attracted to attractive things regardless the standards that we possess in ourselves. Beauty itself is a whole subjective matter. Your point is invalid when you summarize that beauty is just about look and appearance itself. Your look, your problem. Deal with it. Pointless to tell the whole world that we are not the beholder of beauty. And no, we are not superficial creature. Your ego is.

The problem with you is not about your looks. Some of them who rejected you might said it right but the truth still remains where you yourself do not actually know how women think differently than men and how they decide whats best for them. Even, if any miraculous event happen in your life when all of sudden you're a good looking man, i still believe you lack the confidence to actually learn more about the women which is why you always lost your step when approaching them or try to escalate from a friendship level. Yes you do see the mirror everyday, but unfortunately, it reflected your ego if you give it a deep thought about it.



And how exactly you're going to do that when uncertainties lingering inside your mind? If i must say something about this, confession isn't actually gambling. Its just an expression of suppressed feelings you had for the other. If you're going in with an expectation of getting a partner without considering what she wants and needs plus the problems that she faces, then of course you're likely to fail as it gets uncertain especially when the hints aren't strong enough for you to interpret them as CERTAINTY. Confession isn't a competition. Its not about how you want to hear yes rather than no. Its about how you move on from either yes or no and continue your life with extra responsibilities.

You wanna deal with rejection, you gotta have something else aside from her to be cherish which is yourself. An easy step to actually BE prepared for any unlikely circumstances is to actually understand that it takes two way to build a street towards relationship. Two yes = yes. One yes or one uncertain = no ( need more time and space and understanding). And most of the time people have tendency to put all their eggs into one basket. If you can deal with the pain and live your life with positivity, then its good but how do you 'quantify and qualify' the damage? You yourself know better. Best way, put yourself first in front of her and at the same time don't be selfish. Loving yourself isn't about being a selfish prick who wants every chick to die at his fingertips or get a woman just for the sake of getting a woman. Its about how you 'diverse' the risk and lower the magnitude of pain (differs from individual to individual as the magnitude of pain is proportionate to how you're going to heal yourself thoroughly) and live your life better and also to be progressive towards your life goals. Relationship after all, is not actually as 'lovey-dovey' as it seems no matter how happy you are when you get an acceptance. Its how you move on from either of the result of the confession.



Without pain, a person would not grow to reach his ideal state (assuming here a better and stronger person is an ideal state). But if he chose to be a sadist and tell the whole world how sympathetically he is, what is there to gain? Some points are agreeable & valid and the above are the one i strongly disagree. Its the wrong message conveyed out there by you. Your improvisation towards your life right now is an appetizer to my breakfast this morning but if you want to convince people more about your changes, how about change the siggy as a start? A positive advice is very unlikely comes from a negative person. Like a friend of mine pointed out, 'How can a poor teach the others to be a millionaire where he himself is poor?'

Truth to be told, there is no need for such article to be written. You wanna tell how people deal with rejections, the first thing you should do is open their mind with possibilities not reality. IF you realize something in your article, is that you're actually projecting your sadness, ego, hurt, sympathy and many more negativity inside such article. Is that the right way to project it to readers? Its like indirectly telling how total loser you are if you were to ask my inner thoughts after being indifferent towards your article. Im still looking forward , to how you going to improvise on yourself. THAT is more 'exciting' to read and anticipate about. And please understand more about women. You still lack the attitude and knowledge to confront them.

So you're implying a realist can't be romantic? Or perhaps a realist isn't supposed to be romantic, because it isn't suppose to be practiced in reality?

This post has been edited by peinsama: Mar 7 2009, 09:26 AM

whoa, another long post by pein...
doesn't mean that it's bad though...i like your post...

seriously, to add to that, you really don't have to "live with the rejection", you can "move on"...lolz

one yes, one uncertain, does not really mean no though...with enough time and understanding, there is a possibility, but never force/advance in the wrong way...it will turn out to be a no, really

still, as with those said, just go out, meet people, and have fun...while you are enjoying yourself, with the company around you...someone will really see you attractive as who you are, even while you are studying, it is a fun process if you can make it one...=)

This post has been edited by LostWanderer: Mar 7 2009, 09:45 AM

Knowing your "style", I understand you have your own perceptions. And trust me you and I in this or the next lifetime will never be on the same page on many levels. We're totally different and I can't imagine you and I sitting in the same room for 10 minutes. However I honestly appreciate your concern for me, and your words of wisdom. But the truth is, you have your own thoughts, your own experiences, your own life and I've experienced mine. I can never understand yours and you can never understand mine. Please don't assume to know me by just reading my writings.

What I'm telling here is what will happen for a person who's naive if they fall for / becomes infatuated with a female friend, and the possibilities of ruining a friendship is very likely to happen if the person got rejected if both or either party wont handle it seriously. I just dont want people who will experience it, ended up the way like I did. That's why it sounded so gloomy, because after all my encounters falling in love with my female friends, then got rejected by them, that's exactly what have happened. The friendship ruined even I've honestly tried to make amends. I'm not saying not to confess, but if you can't handle the rejection, better dont if you become so infatuated and rejection is not an option for you. It will only leads you to your own demise and sour/lose your friendship. If you treasur your friendship, better dont. This is a situation for those naive people who falls in love with their close friend, or scenario like that. What he will possibly encounters if things like that happened.

You said quite a handful about people who fails to understand women. Maybe you're good at it, well good for you and good being you. But for guys like me, the only women I knew is the ones in my friend circle. That's all. It's not easy for me to approach some strangers, getting to know them. If we can exchange bodies, then you'd understand. How can guy like me understand women, if they immediately close the door? And please don't assume I blindly approach them for her numbers etc etc.. I'm not that stupid / desperate. And please NEVER assume I approached the hot ones, I'm not that shallow...

In the end, I just want to give the idea of possibilities of what will happen, because that possibility happened in reality. So the naive guy who falls in love with a colleague, or a friend will know what he's getting himself into. It might ended up well, or if not well taken care of, it might turns bad and the costs is losing a friendship once built. In the end it all came down to both of the parties to handle the aftermath.

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Mar 7 2009, 10:30 AM

... you really sound bitter...and with that signature of yours, i really hope that you would remove that first, and also remove the idea of suicidal in your mind

i really would recommend you a friend to talk to, whom you are comfortable with, or a clinical psychologist...not that you have some abnormalities in your thoughts, but you just need someone to really listen to you and understand you...

perhaps, you really need to enjoy life just once, to notice how much is there that you would have probably overlooked, those whom had a genuine concern for you, and really enjoyed your company

if you are able to portray that you are enjoying yourself to those who are near you, and show genuine concern for those around you, you are really bound to succeed in a relationship and time is only the factor

beauty as said, is really in the eye of the beholder, you just need to believe in this...

This post has been edited by LostWanderer: Mar 7 2009, 10:33 AM

I didn't realize how suicidal bitter my writing was. Hehe.. Haiyya that signature just for fun only la.. I change it frequently because I like it to be change once in a while, Im a designer and I love doing emo-design, not means Im suicidal. I'm way past beyond that stage. Okayla I change it later. let me design something 1st..

wow, a thread about fail without failing eventhou the huge amount of contain about fail. Awesome thread =D!
First time thumbs up to u

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Added on March 7, 2009, 10:58 amya, never write about that.
got girl confess to me i donno what to say cause in mind already got other target

This post has been edited by BelowAverage: Mar 7 2009, 10:58 AM

If i had a chance to exchange my soul and mind to you, i can guran-damn-tee i will make your body to go and approach women and learn more about them. No doubt about it. The only thing that separates both of us is that i choose my thoughts according to what i want. I dare to fail more than you and i have a strong will to succeed. You seriously should hang on and trust to your own free will. Unfortunately, you had use it to your disadvantages. Not to mention solidifying what is already worse.

If you expect people to understand your situation, yes, we can give you the sympathy and the attention and also the acknowledgement of your own situation on how bitter and suffering it is. But let me ask you a question, 'How far are you able to grow after we do give you those three?' How would you able to to help yourself by telling us all your experiences? At the end of the day, its still YOU are the one that should change. Not us. You just have to prove us that you're as good as us. Make the right choice.

You might as well have courage and change your own situation instead of whining how women should at least open-up to you. Its how you present yourself to create an image and impression towards the woman's perception about you. I can't say much especially when im not there to look actually what went wrong between you and the women you'd approach. There are definitely mistakes that you have done. Perhaps you're the silent type, or perhaps you're not capable of carrying yourself to make a decent conversation or maybe the woman herself isn't interesting as well. Whatever it is, please don't count your failures. What's the point? Can you exactly tell me what's the point of telling me how often women rejecting you? As if i'd never been rejected. Its about how you deal with it and carry on with your life with the new enriched experiences. Learn from it. I don't count my trophies nor do i count my mistakes. The only thing that matters to me, is to be confident every time and every where i go. If others think im shy and silent, well what can i do. Yeah it sucks because it differs from what i tried to portray to them. But its their beliefs and i still gotta prove to them im otherwise through my own characteristics and persona rather than telling them i'm not what they think i am. I don't go dwell and count my disappointments as a failure. I use that to my own advantage and build meself a better person.

You only live once. I don't care whether im going to be resurrected again or not. I only care, before im being whipped and boiled in hell by Saddam himself and his comrades or perhaps being adored by the beautiful ponies or chicas in heaven, i just make sure i live good before i'm sent to either hell or heaven.

Whether the women is hot or not, its a subjective matter. In this case, im not going to debate on how shallow you are or not. Im not entitled to make a judgment on that.



Yes it all boils down to handle the aftermath. And sir, what and how do you suggest to handle such aftermath? Aren't your thread is about dealing more with expectations before the underlying outcomes occur? Isn't it more interesting on how to deal with the aftermath of broken heart? Or is it more interesting for people to understood the averse way and hopefully wouldn't get rejected thus smaller the chances to get hurt? Which is more interesting here? Last i checked even Marius Panzarella or David Deangelo can't guarantee a relationship unless you're being content and know that yourself is a complete being and being appreciative towards what was given to you by nature. Even they insist that its all about choices you make.

My advices and suggestions here is simple. DO help yourself first. That's the best gift you will receive in your whole life.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Mar 7 2009, 12:18 PM

Whatever la pein...kamu memang bijak bermain kata.

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: Mar 7 2009, 12:26 PM