That is why I say its bad advice. If you always run away from the pain, you'll never grow. You will always run from hardship because you don't want to get hurt. You don't dare to take risks. You never learn how to handle the pain, you never learn how to stand up again after falling. How is any of these attributes good?
All you're doing is encouraging these people to hide, letting them think its OK. Its not and they have to realise this.
Basically your whole post boils down to this point. Its really not a bad piece of advice, but the way you've described it, I have to disagree with what you said. The advice you're giving IS BAD. Why? because you're setting a negative attitude.
The biggest problem is your low self-esteem. You don't believe in your self, you don't have a positive view of yourself. You look at your flaws, and think everyone judges you on that. By thinking like this, you sub-consciously project these flaws to people around you, which in turn, turn people away. What happens is a negative feedback loop that sends you in a downward spiral.
Ask yourself, what do you really want in life? What are your goals? What qualities do you want in your friends? What qualities do you want in your partner? Don't just fall for someone because they gave you some attention, this is the biggest mistake lonely people make. You must have your own standards of what qualities your partner should have, and choose people based on that. Don't get blinded by the beauty and attention given.
When you have goals in your life, principles, standards, then you have a strong foundation. Make
yourself happy first and foremost. When you're happy, your mood changes, you get a more positive outlook, your self-esteem increases and you become more confident. The positive feedback loop is much more beneficial for you.
You're still going to get rejected, but hey, learn to f`ing deal with it. Failure is a part of life, you have to fail to succeed. How many times did you fall and injure yourself before you learned to ride a bike? How many times did you fail an exam because you couldn't grasp the subject yet? How many of you gave up? How many of you persevered and gained the benefits of your hardwork?
Let me share with you a motivational poem, I've highlighted the parts which are most relevant to this topic. The entire poem is something you should recite and know by heart.
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
If (Rudyard Kipling)
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
In the great words of Russell Peters...
BE A MAN!This is so so good...
Nope, read your post again, your main point was don't fall for someone cause rejection hurts and sucks. That's stupid, because you can't control attraction. Its worse when you don't know what you want because then you're easily confused. What I'm trying to push into the heads of people like you, is to have your own standards. Make sure people you want measure up to those standards.
You will inevitably fall for someone which people think are way too good for you, so what? Give it a try, if you were rejected, take a while to recuperate then go on with life. Life doesn't end with rejection, pain is a part of life. So there's
no reason to avoid rejection.
Added on March 6, 2009, 1:15 pmI'm not good looking, I'm short, I'm not rich, I'm not very fashionable. Yet, you don't see me complaining, and I myself know how well I do with women
Remember attraction is not all about looks, and love is not so easily defined. Just have some bloody standards, and you will see how much your life improves.
Did you read the poem I posted? It aint a love poem
Mar 25 2009, 03:33 AM
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