So I started in college when I was about 22 years old (I'm 35 now)
So at college I hang out with this Chinese girl, she was a very talkative girl always on her phone a chatting on her phone. So one day she came up to me and asked for my number. So I gave her , I wasn't really a talkative person I just finish my class work and got home to my video games. But I really had a nice car in college time.

So this girl began to talk to me on Facebook so she kept telling me that her boyfriend cheated on her and such I kinda felt sorry for her and asked she wanted to go to the cinema with me. She agreed. At first I was happy as it was the first time I asked a girl out.So at night I drove my car to her place picked her up..She seemed happy the first time out. I don't if you would called a date or just friends hanging out.But to me it felt like a date as it was the first time I went out with a girl together.

So we began talking more and she kinda I got lost internet with me , her messages were short sometimes no reply.So I don't why I felt disappointed as it wasn't me who talked to her first . As one she said she didn't want to go out with me anymore. Kinda felt disappointed.

Hmm as time moved on she was already married to her ex boyfriend
But have memories of her when we went to cinema.
So time moved on I stopped talking to girls even at work place. Still have some good and bad memories. I wish I could erase those memories. Sometime I wished I didn't talk at all.

so, u let one memory demotivated you?

instead, u should look back and ask how you can do it better in the future lor

could it be that when she was out with you to the cinema, that's the down time between her bf and her, so she was looking for companion, just normal companion to forget things for a while. but when she settled with her bf, they were back together and feel it is inappropriate to go with you anymore.

Tell us what is your regret is old dating memories?
If goes back to the time, what would you do?

Okay so she is a pretty girl. Plus was very cute always wore modern clothing so kinda got attracted. Tbh I'm not very emotional person after she said she don't want to go out with me anymore kinda hurt my feelings. At this point I got emotional and I'm never an emotional person just me with my video games to occupy my time. Have fun with friends in gaming world.After the girl I lost desires in the thing I usually do like my exercise, video games and time with my family.
If I can go back wish I never talked to the girl. I kinda felt heartbroken and lost desires in the things I usually do before the girl. My Old Memories was me in my room after college and work. Kinda wish I never knew her. Plus every time I see her Facebook with her husband looking at the photos I feel depressed. I already unfriend her and deleted the old photos with her and me. Don't know every time I look at the photos I get flashback phobias.i want to erase those memories that's why I deleted her photos on my computer and phone

It could be , she was using me to temporarily forget her old bf. Feels like shit when a person uses you to forget her old lover

i get that bro... you are not alone... you are seeing another example here --> me

TS, 13 years of longing...! I cannot imagine the pain... You should know better than anyone how this is literally destroying your love life.

It's about time for you to move on from this relationship that never started. Wipe your rose tinted glasses and see what your love for her got you? NOTHING. She used you to fill her void/trouble with her partner. Call it a date all you like, but it was one sided. You know what should make someone more attractive? It is the fact that the person likes you (too)! Unrequited love is unattractive and should be treated like a turn off.

These are the words I told myself years ago when I struggled to move on from my unrequited love. I am glad I got out and into another love with someone else who loves me more. May you find your peace and happiness one day too.

In this case you being her rebound boipren, once get back she cut you off.
What i learned sometimes this memory doesnt left any lesson, it just happened.

1 cinema outing = 13 years of time, you better go reflect on yourself.

If you bring this assessment into other aspect of life, you are going to get similar miserable result.

TS. You still got meet her as friends?

Mine also almost one year no longer in contact but still keep remembering her. I can contact her if want to but i respect her decisions to forget me. I want to delete all our photos and videos but scare because once delete it, i afraid will no longer have photo of us as memories. Just hoping my current wont find where i hide the photos. Having sex few times with her make it worse i guess.



Its the memories that count and their relationship also not just 1 cinema outing but also talk few times more

This post has been edited by kesvani: Mar 12 2025, 11:21 PM

I haven't. But I saw eating food at the food court one day she has two children now. I saw her with her children I got weird feelings I didn't say but she looked at me a smiled. Maybe still recognize me after many years. I really hope she forgot about me and our old memories. Still haunts me the old memories good times we had in cinema, in the park night out drinking coffee.Now she has husband and children. Feels awkward to talk to her. But after I deleted her photos I feel better not to look at her picture all the time. Difficult really still have mental pictures of her in my mind

No need to treat it as haunt.Just treat as one of the sweet memories you experience. Even though i will most likely will marry GF/EX1 but in my hearty one day few years or decade i could meet EX2 again.

Let us both hope we can meet them again when age 40 or 50 or 60 since we only few years old apart since i also 37 only

Dei u 35 dy why dei why? I feel embarrassed you longing for that woman and wasting all your God given opportunities to be the best version of yourself. Life is a gift. Heartbrake is normal take time and heal but not 13 years long. Do you realize by longing the Ah So how many opportunities in life u lost? Potentially to further your career, enhance your looks fitness learn new skills earn more money. Dont be a pussy and wake up.

The woman moved on its not you mourning a person who loved you dearly .She made her bed and lay in it while you crying here and expecting a different outcome.

I can tell you this , as a serial dater back in the day I broke heart and got heart broken . But over time I realise when I want something serious I need to take myself seriously and I need to respect myself before expecting ppl to love and respect me. Be the best man you can be and stop being a pussy. Good luck. Someday you may end up with the right woman for you but you need to be the best version and respect yourself. Not all woman are bad, see carefully what you like and don't like before pursuing any relationship far. Be cut and dry . You got no time to waste and be honest.

This post has been edited by lordgamer3: Mar 15 2025, 07:26 PM

You try to talk to other women. Bunga bukan sekuntum.

It's not I'm longing for, it's just the memories I had with her. Kinda left a scar in my mind. Some memories inside my mind and the butterfly feelings in my stomach. I don't know what to say really...

Already stopped talking to girls. Kinda left a scar already. Because I'm a person who lacks confidence. I'm very quite. Cause I want my life to be meaningful not just accept rejection all the time. Already first rejection and it's not a good feeling iny stomach causes me nausea

Brave yourself and be confident.

That's the right way. The right way is keep talking to girls until younrjectrd countless time. Then you are numb. Then you will be so what?

That's what I did.

If that's the only night out, and left a scar, I believe your feelings towards her is indeed strong. The only way to overturn this is to find another girl that can create the same attraction.