TS, 13 years of longing...! I cannot imagine the pain... You should know better than anyone how this is literally destroying your love life.

It's about time for you to move on from this relationship that never started. Wipe your rose tinted glasses and see what your love for her got you? NOTHING. She used you to fill her void/trouble with her partner. Call it a date all you like, but it was one sided. You know what should make someone more attractive? It is the fact that the person likes you (too)! Unrequited love is unattractive and should be treated like a turn off.

These are the words I told myself years ago when I struggled to move on from my unrequited love. I am glad I got out and into another love with someone else who loves me more. May you find your peace and happiness one day too.