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 Old Dating Memories, Memories

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PoorButHumble
post Apr 28 2025, 03:16 PM

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QUOTE(silverhawk @ Apr 28 2025, 09:40 AM)
Like I tried to explain

Its the confusion between test and trial.

He is giving them a trial of what life with him is like. A girl can also do the same to him and say "if you want to date me, take me somewhere nice". Which is fine if the girl expects that to be part of their relationship.

If you offer AA but actually want him to pay; as a test. Then all you're doing is setting up false expectations on both ends. Every guy knows this rule, and if they want to play the game, they just play it. No sincerity, no guarantee it will continue long term. On the girl's end, the test only provided short-term answer.

Testing in such a manner is failing strategy. Its also not a good way to start a relationship where you're constantly "testing" each other, no trust and honesty. So if you're "tested" in such a manner, I don't think its unreasonable to feel put off by it. Its a dishonest interaction, and would you want to be in a relationship like that long term?

Do the trial method instead and be clear with your expectations so everything moves on the right track.
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There is no smoke without fire. I am only here cause his "test" caught my attention, hence, giving him the same perception albeit different scenario. Don't understand why you need to keep on yapping like a broken record by comparing the context of each test or trial whatever you called it?

What you wanna prove? he has every right to trial, mine is so goddamn wrong that you have to step in and be the white knight huh? If you need that validation, take it cause i don't care. you bring your date eat at longkang also nobody bother.

There is a reason why he is still searching until today. If those girl that he dated can score better partner, why would they want to settle for less?
Ramjade
post Apr 29 2025, 01:21 PM

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QUOTE(silverhawk @ Apr 28 2025, 09:40 AM)
Like I tried to explain

Its the confusion between test and trial.

He is giving them a trial of what life with him is like. A girl can also do the same to him and say "if you want to date me, take me somewhere nice". Which is fine if the girl expects that to be part of their relationship.

If you offer AA but actually want him to pay; as a test. Then all you're doing is setting up false expectations on both ends. Every guy knows this rule, and if they want to play the game, they just play it. No sincerity, no guarantee it will continue long term. On the girl's end, the test only provided short-term answer.

Testing in such a manner is failing strategy. Its also not a good way to start a relationship where you're constantly "testing" each other, no trust and honesty. So if you're "tested" in such a manner, I don't think its unreasonable to feel put off by it. Its a dishonest interaction, and would you want to be in a relationship like that long term?

Do the trial method instead and be clear with your expectations so everything moves on the right track.
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Actually I don't know. Maybe too innocent. If a girl offer me AA, I really expect her to AA and not do it as a test. Maybe it is just me though. đŸ„ș

QUOTE(PoorButHumble @ Apr 28 2025, 03:16 PM)
There is no smoke without fire. I am only here cause his "test" caught my attention, hence, giving him the same perception albeit different scenario. Don't understand why you need to keep on yapping like a broken record by comparing the context of each test or trial whatever you called it?

What you wanna prove? he has every right to trial, mine is so goddamn wrong that you have to step in and be the white knight huh? If you need that validation, take it cause i don't care. you bring your date eat at longkang also nobody bother.

There is a reason why he is still searching until today. If those girl that he dated can score better partner, why would they want to settle for less?
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I found 2 girls actually. Currently with one of them. I am super honest, open and transparent to them. I tell them and show them how my life is.

nihility
post Apr 29 2025, 05:46 PM

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QUOTE(Ramjade @ Apr 29 2025, 01:21 PM)
Actually I don't know. Maybe too innocent. If a girl offer me AA, I really expect her to AA and not do it as a test. Maybe it is just me though. đŸ„ș
I found 2 girls actually. Currently with one of them. I am super honest, open and transparent to them. I tell them and show them how my life is.
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It’s okay to admit when we don’t know something. Now that you’ve learned something new, what’s there to lose? At least you’ve improved and are moving forward with one less weakness. That’s called refinement.

In Eastern culture, especially when it comes to 瀌 (lǐ, or manners), it reflects on us as individuals. For example, in dating: if you’re the one asking someone out, you’re the host. Even if the other person offers to split the bill (like “AA”), as the host, you shouldn’t accept it.

Another common scene: if your friend invites you to a party, gathering, or housewarming, you should always bring a small gift as a way to show 瀌 (lǐ). Even if the host says not to bring anything, as parents or elders, we must still teach the younger generation to bring something. You just shouldn’t show up empty-handed.

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